Re dd and new baby?

[bedtimeisreal]

I'm pretty sure I'm not but this has been niggling at me.

I'm a recently single mum to two little girls aged 4.5yo and 5 weeks.
This has been a lot of change for dd1 and I'm very keen to make sure she doesn't feel ignored or pushed out because of the new baby.

As part of this I've been letting her choose a lot of the things I've bought (with a lot of guidance and limited options obviously ) for the baby and I let her pick out her sister's outfit everyday which she loves.

This came up in a conversation with my sister today and she was quite horrible about it. The gist of it was that she thinks I'm spoiling dd1 and treating dd2 like a doll.

I don't think this is fair. Dd1 is pretty laid back and sensible as far as 4yo's go and will (with guidance) pick out weather appropriate clothes and is happy to pick something else without a fuss if I say no to anything.
She is well aware that her sister isn't a dolly.

So aibu or is my sister?

Your sister is being a bitch. It sounds like a very sweet way to involve DD1.

I think it's a nice way of involving her and giving her responsibility. DS went out several times in random outfits that DD had picked for him: the shorts/tights combo because she loved the shorts but it was October, the pink clothes from the back of the drawer because she loves pink etc. I also often get her to choose clothes to save me going upstairs again.

Is your sister my sister?? This is exactly the sort of mean thing mine would say (without having a clue about anything to do with bringing up children).

It sounds like a nice idea. Your sister is being ridiculous.

DD is an only and 10 now but she'll still sit happily on a rainy Sunday and decorate a multipack of white pants and vests with some fabric pens.

I think it's a great idea to let your eldest DD get involved in things, like you are.

Can't be easy for either of you at the moment with the upheaval of a new baby and you becoming single.

Your sister needs to be more thoughtful and kind.

Gosh yeah me too, getting her dressed in the morning was my favourite part of the day, what's wrong with treating her like a doll? In terms of outfit that is; you're not supposed to throw them back in the toybox when bored

Sounds to me like you are doing a great job.

Dd1 (3 years older) did that for dd2. She loved picking the clothes, and, as they got older, they used to decided together to wear the same outfit sometimes until dd1 was about 12 or 13yo. She also had the job of supplying wipes at nappy changes.

When ds came along I didn't have the energy for that sort of thing and the girls were horrified that I took him out in his nightclothes (Babygro)

It sounds like all of you are going through a lot and you’re becoming a lovely little unit of girls. I think it sounds like a really nice way of making sure your first born is included. Ignore your shitty sister.
What is with all this plague of people giving unsolicited and negative opinions on things that don’t concern them?

Blimey OP you have quite enough on your plate without your sister being an idiot and making nasty comments.

You are doing brilliantly and your DD1 sounds gorgeous. Keep on doing just what you’re doing and ignore DSis.

That's a lovely idea and I think I'll do this with my 9yo DSD and 9mo DD. I'm sure she will be chuffed to do this and will proudly tell everyone
Don't listen to your sister, she sounds like a knob and should be more supportive x

Your sister IBU.

You sound like a very loving mum, and you're getting some great ideas here for more fun with your DC. I can't think of a better way to care for DD2 while helping DD1 through what could have been a difficult time.

Sounds a lovely idea to get dd1 involved. What does your sis suggest, that a 5 week old choose her own clothes?

You're doing fine! It's lovely that your eldest girl is so involved with her baby sister.

I am sorry you are a single mum though, that must have been a blow.

All the best and well done.

My children adore each other at 10 and 7 and I'm sure that alot of that is down to me doing similar with them. So keep going and ignore your sister.

It seems that some people look for things to criticise. Let’s hope your sister does half as good a job of parenting as you.

It's a sweet idea. Your sister sounds awful.

My mum always got me to do this for my sister when we were little- I loved it. And we've always been very close, and still are as adults. It's a lovely thing to do. I get 3yo DS to pick baby DD's outfits if we're staying in the house, he loves helping out!

I think you sound like you’re doing a lovely job!

You sound like a lovely mum doing everything right. I would totally be getting the older one involved as much as you can with the new baby. Ignore your sister - such an odd comment from her.

Is that really the most supportive thing your sister can say to you as a newly single parent to a 4 year old and a new born?
May be tell her that you are hoping early doors to make dd1 nurturing towards her sister

I think it’s lovely. My 6 year old son asked me if he could choose his 5 months old brothers clothes recently, and also my clothes. We all went out looking a bit mismatched but my son was so proud!

Your sister is a miserable git. I spent many a happy hour with my 2.5 year old daughter, looking through the Next and Mothercare catalogues (pre-internet days) though I realised after a while that she thought we were choosing a baby