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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mildly annoyed that some pubs can’t get their head around the fact that even though this is a wedding I’m trying to book, it’s a small affair!

185 replies

SweetMarmalade · 27/01/2020 17:47

I live in a lovely area with some stunning pubs.

I’m having the tiniest of weddings, want to head off to a local afterwards, handful of family coming along.

Manager of one lovely pub, ‘don’t really cater for weddings’doesn’t know what corkage is, thinks we’ll be pissed off dining with the ‘regulars’ Hmm
Another pub in the area is far more accommodating and knows what they’re talking about but this young manager (and I’m not being ageist here) doesn’t seem to have a clue. Such a shame as the venue is stunning!
I wish I’d just asked to book a table and rock on up!

This ain’t no bridezilla but pubzilla! Why do people fall apart the minute you mention ‘wedding’!Hmm

OP posts:
Kingoftheroad · 27/01/2020 20:37

If the two bottles of wine are no big deal then do the decent thing and buy from the venue.

To be honest, as the owner of similar establishments it’s a minefield - large groups are always noisier and more demanding. I know of several venues who won’t accept any booking of 8 or more, as this detracts from their other customers, blocks the turnaround of tables etc.

I only do it for my regulars, then myself and staff go all out. Many times it’s resulted and everyone joining in. I really think you have to re think this.

LowerLoxleyAmbridge · 27/01/2020 20:38

I booked quite a bit for my best friend when she got married last year (as she was abroad doing her masters in the run up). I learned very quickly not to mention the word wedding.....

EG She wanted a particular cake a bakery had put on instagram, it was iced but sponge underneath (she didn't want a fruit cake) with poppies on it....I went to the bakery to book it and cost to serve 40 people would be £160. I gave them the deposit and the address of the venue as they wanted to sort out delivery. They rang back the next day and said they had spoken to the venue and hadn't realised when I booked it was for a wedding and their minimum price for a wedding cake was £400. I said but she wants the exact cake that would cost £160 for a birthday. They would not be moved. Lots of other examples were similar

Kingoftheroad · 27/01/2020 20:40

have you tried google totally agree you’re talking absolute sense

okiedokieme · 27/01/2020 20:41

The problem I experienced was that the "we only want a table for 12" turned into 20, then wanted table decorations and the gift table, then they did speeches and so wanted the music turned off, told guests at next table to keep the noise down (quiet talking) etc - a restaurant or pub with a private dining area or section works better

slashlover · 27/01/2020 20:41

What’s the difference between a small (teeny tiny) wedding and a someone’s birthday bash in a pub?

A birthday would be buying their booze, ordering off the menu and paying for what they got.

Original poster
SweetMarmalade · 27/01/2020 20:45

@slashlover as would we! Stop focusing on the drink!

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetMarmalade · 27/01/2020 20:47

I’m hardly rocking up all Patsy & Eddie supping my Bolly!

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetMarmalade · 27/01/2020 20:47

And just to add one more time...

WE WILL BE BUYING BOOZE FROM THE PUB!

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetMarmalade · 27/01/2020 20:50

@Kingoftheroad totally understand with turnaround of tables etc which is why I asked at both establishments if this would be a problem and I was told as it’s midweek and early, then no, it wouldn’t. It’s not as if it’s prime time Fri/Sat evening, which I could completely understand.

OP posts:
slashlover · 27/01/2020 20:50

So you're not going to be taking two bottles of champagne in? I must have misread that.

Cantwaitforsummer2020 · 27/01/2020 20:54

@Kingoftheroad Only take bookings for your regulars HmmHmmHmm

@LowerLoxleyAmbridge For a CAKE?!? Even £160 is laughable! You can get beautiful cakes which serve 40 from supermarkets for £20!

Original poster
SweetMarmalade · 27/01/2020 20:55

@slashlover Grin no you didn’t miss that part! Jees! No one has any humour on a dreary Monday evening anymore?

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetMarmalade · 27/01/2020 20:58

@slashlover you know what I’m getting at. I’ll hardly be swigging back bottles of Bolly in front of the pearl clutching locals, asking them to stand aside while the newly weds ‘come on through’!

OP posts:
Bibbiditybobbidy · 27/01/2020 20:58

Don’t tell them it’s a wedding after do and don’t try to bring your own booze to a pub! Put money behind the bar...

nokidshere · 27/01/2020 21:02

Why don't you just book a table for 20 and have the normal menu?

Cantwaitforsummer2020 · 27/01/2020 21:02

OP, you are a CD of the highest order! You're trying to get a Reception venue for the cost of your meals only! Gobsmacked!

Who do you think has to pay the additional Waiting staff & kitchen staff they'll need? It's a PUB! Not a hotel which would already be geared up for Receptions/Wedding Breakfasts.
Why do you think room hire in a pub is generally so cheap? Because if food is included at all, it's generally a buffet prepared in advance. Then you're left to it. Away from other patrons. No additional staff needed.

Fair enough is there's 8/9 of you. Maybe 10 at a push. But nearly 20?!? That's aReception, love. Find a Reception venue. caption
YABVVVVVU

LEELULUMPKIN · 27/01/2020 21:03

We managed it. Wasn't a sit down meal though, just a buffet.

Told them it was our wedding but we didn't have enough guests to fill a room so they just cornered off part of the pub.

It was lovely, super cheap and we didn't take the piss by taking our own booze. That is how they make their money.

slashlover · 27/01/2020 21:03

I was being sarcastic.

Your OP is about why pubs have so much hassle about weddings and you just want a simple thing. Then you want corkage. Then you want them to make a special menu for you.

You complain that the first pub doesn't cater for that and that the second pub doesn't have a clue. Maybe they just don't want a wedding in their pub which is their right, especially as you're asking for extras.

LowerLoxleyAmbridge · 27/01/2020 21:04

@Cantwaitforsummer2020....yes, I know.

A wedding is like getting mugged by 15 different people in one day.

My particular favourites: 'bridesmaid' dresses £160 each from shop where bride bought her dress, could have got on asos for £50 each

Table centres £100 per table could have got as a made up bouquet in sainsburys for £25.

Best friends (brides) dad who i've known all my life was paying for this shit and it just made me so cross!

Original poster
SweetMarmalade · 27/01/2020 21:09

@Cantwaitforsummer2020 please tell me where I said there were 20 guests?!! You’ve probably read through the thread very quickly so you picked up on my answer to someone’s previous post!

There will be 12 guests!! And again (although I’m SICK OF REPEATING MYSELF) we don’t expect NOT to pay for any drinks ffs!!! Please read through the thread! Thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetMarmalade · 27/01/2020 21:11

@slashlover one pub does cater but it’s not in such a ‘pretty’ location, other pub doesn’t bend at all.

I suppose it’s the difference between freehold and leasehold thinking about it.

OP posts:
ScarlettBlaize · 27/01/2020 21:12

My particular favourites: 'bridesmaid' dresses £160 each from shop where bride bought her dress, could have got on asos for £50 each

Why didn't you then?

AngelsOnHigh · 27/01/2020 21:12

Do people actually read any replies?? How many times has SweetMarmalade said they were taking a couple of bottles of bubbly and BUYING the rest of their booze from the venue.

Original poster
SweetMarmalade · 27/01/2020 21:13

@Cantwaitforsummer2020, love. There will be plenty of booze purchased behind the bar!

OP posts:
GeraldineFangedVagine · 27/01/2020 21:13

I booked a cote brasserie for my wedding and I did tell them it was my wedding. They asked if I could ask the guests what they’d all eat but didn’t charge me any extra. They were really really good. Maybe consider something like that?