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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think the house should be in my name too

248 replies

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 27/01/2020 17:12

DP and I are buying a house. We're each contributing deposits of about 35% of the value, with the final 30% being DP's mortgage which he's moving over from his current house.

The solicitor's just said the legal title has to match the mortgage offer. So since the mortgage is in his name, the house has to be, too.

I feel really insulted! I'm paying for a third of this house, but I can't have my name on the deeds?

I fully admit to knowing almost nothing about house-buying, but I wasn't expecting this. It seems so unfair!

OP posts:
monkeymonkey2010 · 27/01/2020 23:36

Because my income is low and my outgoings are high. I'm only going to be able to make ends meet because I'll be paying very little of the mortgage

All the more reason you should consider splitting bills proportionately!

thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul · 28/01/2020 06:13

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas mortgage companies always care about where the deposit comes from precisely because it might cause problems if they foreclose and try to get the debt back from the sale of the house. I learnt that when I bought my first flat and borrowed the 5% deposit from family (a loan with interes to compensate exactly for the interest they'd have been earning on it in a savings account, and with an agreed fairly rapid repayment plan involving paying it back over a year, although "on trust" not official ..) - there was a minor hiccup when the mortgage lender wanted to know where the 3k deposit had come from (I was in my first proper job after graduation and applied for the mortgage as soon as I finished my 6 months probation) and I naively said my family member had lent it to me - I then had to provide a testament from them that they had in fact given me the money as an unconditional gift and had no claim on the property!

I don't think your partner is necessarily being 100% honest with someone - whether you or the solicitor or the mortgage lender I obviously don't know. It's probable he's been asked where the extra capital has come from and claimed it was a gift/ inheritance/ savings...

Cantchooseaname · 28/01/2020 06:27

Fuck no. No way.
When we were purchasing our mortgage broker tried to persuade my husband to just get mortgage in his name as he earns significantly more. (It was specialist mortgage due to circumstances).
I said no way, as I would not be on deeds- he said ‘oh we can just add you at a later date’.
Erm- no thanks!!!
With children- no way. Just no.
So glad you are taking control of this.

KTJean · 28/01/2020 06:40

I was various different names on the EA threads, and to be honest I don’t remember many, aside from BluebellTuesday or something. I left seven years ago now but still not divorced - complete nightmare, so technically I am still married 🙄, (although we do have a financial settlement).
It is good that you are asking the right questions and I hope you get it sorted.

finkploydthethird · 28/01/2020 06:56

No name in the deeds, no deposit. If you split you'll never see that money again.

user1487194234 · 28/01/2020 07:37

Theoretically you can be on the deeds but not on the title But lost lenders won't allow it
The solicitor is acting for your DP and the lender and not for you
The instructions from the lender will say the title and security must be in same name
Solicitor should advise you to take independent advice and you should do that
Current lending practices mean that often one party can borrow more than both parties if the second party isn't working
The temptation is obviously then to go forward in one name which is unfair on the other party normally the female

user1487194234 · 28/01/2020 07:38

Most lenders

helloyou123 · 28/01/2020 07:40

I'm pretty sure even if your name can't be on the mortgage is can still be on the deeds of the property.

rwalker · 28/01/2020 07:43

I've done the porting mortgage thing so that is correct . Just get something drawn up to protect your money u put in .

Original poster
CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 28/01/2020 07:45

All the more reason you should consider splitting bills proportionately!

I have thought about this, but although he is happy to help me with my DCs (feeding, lifts etc), I don't want to take advantage of him financially, expecting his contribution towards the DCs when they already have two parents to do that. 50:50 on bills when I'm filling most of the house with my DCs means he's already overpaying, which I'm happy with as he earns more, I just don't want to take advantage of him.

OP posts:
thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul · 28/01/2020 07:47

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas have you asked him how he's accounted for the source of your 35% deposit to the mortgage company?

Original poster
CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 28/01/2020 07:53

I said no way, as I would not be on deeds- he said ‘oh we can just add you at a later date’.
Erm- no thanks!!!

It's really useful to hear stories like this because I am so conflict-averse, my natural reaction is to accept all authority and assume it can't be any different. I'm learning to fight against it these days, but it doesn't come naturally.

OP posts:
Original poster
CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 28/01/2020 07:55

Seven years and no divorce, @KTJean! That's awful! Wishing you continued strength...

OP posts:
Jessie9323 · 28/01/2020 07:56

Bollocks

I ported my mortgage from my flat to a house I was buying with my husband and we were both named on everything even though the ported
Mortgage was mine! Have you been to a broker?
My sister was a sahm and that didn't effect the mortgage they were offered.

Original poster
CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 28/01/2020 07:57

That sounds like the situation here, @user1487194234 - that's very clearly explained, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 28/01/2020 07:59

@thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul, I haven't. Could he have said a vague "sale of a house" or would he have needed to provide further details and evidence of that?

OP posts:
Original poster
CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 28/01/2020 08:04

Ok, so the plan for today is to see if my name can be added onto his mortgage. If not, we'll find a mortgage broker and try applying for one together.

For our age, we're neither of us very experienced at buying houses - and before now, DP has only bought alone, I've just realised.

OP posts:
blubberyboo · 28/01/2020 08:04

Op be very careful as the solicitor and bank most likely think your 35% is a gift and you will have a gift declaration stuck under your nose to sign. This protects the bank if he defaults and your partner but not you

Mortgages are always in the name of the person on the deeds
Usually a person not on the deeds or mortgage but who will be living in the property signs a form of consent and postponement. All this means is that you might have an interest in the property legally and you are consenting for the bank to take a mortgage out in someone else’s name and that you are placing your interest behind that of the bank. It basically protects the lender. It does not mean you are on the deeds which is a common misconception.
So if you sign this and a gift declaration you are basically signing your rights away to take third place

thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul · 28/01/2020 08:07

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas he could have said something vague like that yes, but it depends how far through the process you are. He'll have to prove he has the finds before you can exchange, and if they're not in his account or have not been in his account for three months or longer he should have to prove where they've come from.

If you transfer that much money into his personal account 3 months before the house purchase without a legal contract covering it you're giving him the money, which might mean he isn't asked to prove it's his outright, and you can kiss it goodbye to all of it if you split up before the wedding - and possibly even once you're married.

thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul · 28/01/2020 08:08

*funds not finds

user1487194234 · 28/01/2020 08:11

Just because lots of people can get a joint mortgage even if SAHM etc doesn't mean everyone can
With the price of housing these days people often have to maximise their mortgage and that can mean going in one name as for some lenders that is how it works
They often feel they can't afford another solicitor to act for the other party
This makes the whole thing very risky for party not on the deeds especially if unmarried

thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul · 28/01/2020 08:13

Do you have a joint bank account?

Original poster
CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 28/01/2020 09:12

No, not yet. We'll get one when we get the house, for bills etc and keep our sole accounts too.

It was the gift thing that really got DP alarmed when the solicitor mentioned it. Neither of us saw that coming. I know that makes us look rather naive!

OP posts:
thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul · 28/01/2020 09:19

I missed that on the thread - so he has been told to say that you are giving him the 35% as a gift?

Are you physically present at meetings with the solicitor and mortgage broker, copied in on all the emails, hearing voice messages with your own ears, on speaker during phone calls?

Or are you getting everything second hand from your partner?

Don't transfer your £70,000 or £105,000 or whatever to your partner's bank account under any circumstances until it's arranged through the solicitor and mortgage company that you're on the deeds!