Epidural - how pain free was your labour?

[Ashtower]

I have tokophobia (fear of labour). Stems from the fact my mother almost died giving birth to my sister. I am considering ttc this year but recognise I have issues to overcome.

AIBU to ask if you had an epidural and how pain-free your labour was (if you feel comfortable sharing of course)

My cousin says hers was completely pain-free - sounds too good to be true.

I had an epidural with both of my DDs. It was honestly the best decision I've ever made. I was absolutely terrified of labour (the pain, the indignity, the fear that something would be wrong with the baby) and the epidural not only took away ALL of the pain but also made me worry a whole lot less about everything else. With DD1 I went to sleep at 2cm dilated and woke up 8 hours later 10cm dilated and ready to push. I would recommend it to anybody.
The only (small) downside was having to have a catheter, which was a pain in the arse post-birth.
I had to have a forceps birth with DD1 but gave birth naturally with DD2.
Good luck with whatever you decide :)

I suffered similar, my epidural didn't take, even though it was administered by the most senior consultant, birth hurt like fuck (back to back drop induction after my waters broke really early), DM told me I looked shellshocked the next day. I haven't forgotten. BUT and it's a big one, DS and I are absolutely fine, I did have an episiotomy in the end, I did have some tearing, but everything healed quickly I have no ongoing issues and my scar is tiny and very neat. So it was actually ok, and worth it.

Zero pain at all. Bloody brilliant things.

Didn't have epidural. Had gas and air. I didn't feel much pain. I just remember feeling that the baby would never come out.

Forgot to say, I couldn't feel the forceps at all thanks to the epidural. All I could feel was a bizarre feeling of the doctor rummaging around in my vagina, a feeling that I'll never forget to this day. Not painful in the slightest though, just odd.

I would go for a c section if i were you. It's not just about the pain, it is a day (or more) of all sorts of other things that may stress you out. A c section takes away so many factors of worry.

I didn’t have anything apart from local when I was cut and for the stitches, a lot of stitches.

Like a PP said though, you don’t get any prizes for a drug free labour.

I had an epidural with my second. It was completely pain free.

If you have Tokophobia the midwives are very very understanding and will make a very detailed plan- including an epidural whenever you want it or a planned c section. I was very ill with my first so had a planned c section due to the fear mainly and omg it was perfect. No stress, no fear, just peace. And that was with it being an emergancy one as I was in labour (went into labour 48 hours before planned c section) I’d definitely recommend c section. Much more of a sense of control xxx

Mine was 100% pain free after my epidural 23 years ago.

I had a good labour with managing 12 hours with a tens machine, then a while with gas and air then the epidural for the final 10 hours.

Great labour, awful birth that was complicated.

"the midwives are very very understanding"

Depends on the midwife surely?!
Hopefully most are but probably not all.

Believe you me , if they know you suffer from this illness / anxiety they will be throwing everything at it being pain free .

I have had epidural as a last resort , and as a planned procedure right at the start of labour .
As a last resort it didn’t work as my labour was going too fast and didn’t get the time for the epidural to work .

As a planned procedure it did work almost completely. I did feel pain right towards the end of labour , but nothing like full labour pain , and it was very quickly managed by doctors who immediately gave more anaesthetic , compared to my previous it was a very comfortable labour !

They can never guarantee the epidural will work , but I certainly believe it can give a completely pain free labour if it is planned from the start of labour X

My epidural failed. I also had really bad pressure pains in my bum which I was told I wouldn’t go away with the epidural but I wanted to try anyway.

I was induced via the drop though so I don’t know if that made a difference

You may want to ask your doctor whether they will consider inducing you a bit earlier in order to manage your phobia rather than allowing you to go into natural labour .

You could also ask about c section but with that you need to remember that it can be harder on recovery

I'll be honest and say I've never had an epidural (in part because I'm scared of the needle and in part because it never got that bad that I felt I needed one) so can't comment on how they worked for me but from the little you have said I'm not sure that your issues (which are understandable) are going to be resolved by having an epidural, because I don't think you are scared of the pain

If an epidural works perfectly then you won't feel anything, however there is no guarantee it will work perfectly

I also had an episiotomy and 3rd degree year and git given more pain relief as I was being stitched up. That pain relief worked nicely

When I eventually got one it was instant pain free. It was getting one that was the problem and I was in a lot of pain when I finally did.
But for the actual birth it was great.

Fellow sufferer here OP. I listened to the story from my mum about how having us (twins) nearly killed her.
I put off having a family until it was nearly too late. I asked for a caesarean from the offset and was talked into a vaginal birth. I didn’t cope well with the labour pain and was given an epidural. What a difference it made. After 24 hrs of labour I was told that DS was in the wrong berthing position and given a caesarean.
I recovered very well with little need for pain relief.
My advice is to speak to your GP and get reassurance of your wishes being listened to.
Don’t let fear hold you back.

My sister has an epidural and said she felt nothing once it started to work and loved it 🤣

I was induced and after 1 and a half hours on the drip I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the pain. The first epidural didn't work but the second did and it was like a light period pain. I managed to sleep and could top up after certain times. Because I could still feel it slightly I knew when to push. All the staff with me were excellent throughout.

I felt nothing at all. When I had a contraction it just like a little tingle. I was so relaxed and chilled out that the midwife said I need to get a bit angry and scream to get the baby out- she was super cosy

Mine failed. Apparently my spine is odd so it’s rare to happen. It was so badly bruised I could feel it for weeks after.
If it does a similar job as a spinal block though then I didn’t feel anything from my waist down (which was good for my EMACS)

Mine was nearly completely painfree.
They ‘switched on’ the epidural after the contractions became very painful and I didn’t feel them afterwards except for some really strong ones but they weren’t painful.

I needed 10 stitches afterwards and also didn’t feel anything of the tearing during birth and the OB Gyn stitching me up afterwards.

The real pain started about 2 hours after the birth.

I gave birth yesterday so perhaps I can help. Second baby. First was a water birth just gas and air. Second was a induction with epidural. Firstly if you go for an epidural. Make sure you press the bloody top up. I tried to to get through it on the minimum so i could move around and it stopped working an hour before I gave birth i would much rather be immobile and numb then suddenly have the pain start to come back. The anethitist was in theatre so couldn't top me up, had to do the last bit completely on my own just with gas and air. It was very very difficult. Just to say. I found that at transition I transformed into a completly primal creature and disassociated from myself. Felt like I was observing myself from the outside and only returned a few seconds after she was born so those instincts do get you through if you find yourself in that situation.

However saying all that when I had the epidural it was amazing!! It was lovely and calm. Chatting to the midwife. My husband had a little sleep. I suspect if I had a third I would go down that route again but without the last hour! Getting it in was the hardest part and quite weird and unpleasant. With strange sensations in my legs.

In terms of injurys whilst on paper I had worse injuries second time (Second degree vs 1st degree tears) I'm in much less pain this time around dispite stitches and the swelling is much less too.so there is no guarantee that that side will be worse either.

First birth, didn't get epidural until too late as they didn't believe I was in labour. It's never too late, except they couldn't find baby's heartbeat so she had to come in an emergency delivery before it has taken effect. Pain was horrific.

Second birth, I met the head midwife beforehand and told her of the first experience and said I was traumatised and worried about not being listened too again. When things got painful I asked for epidural and they said anaesthetist was busy. I turned to my DH and told him to ring head midwife (she had given her number and said to do this if things weren't going well). Suddenly I got the epidural. It was amazing. I've had worse dentist trips.

So, speak to a powerful person on the ward about your worries and get their details. Demand proper care. She told me to demand to speak to the midwife or sister in charge.

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jan/26/health-secretary-to-investigate-allegations-of-women-denied-epidurals-nhs-matt-hancock?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_WhatsApp

Good luck