Epidural - how pain free was your labour?

[Ashtower]

I have tokophobia (fear of labour). Stems from the fact my mother almost died giving birth to my sister. I am considering ttc this year but recognise I have issues to overcome.

AIBU to ask if you had an epidural and how pain-free your labour was (if you feel comfortable sharing of course)

My cousin says hers was completely pain-free - sounds too good to be true.

My epidural was 25 years ago but I'll never forget it. 20+ hours induced labour and opted for epidural. However, there was a pocket in the epidural space in my back which didn't get the "stuff". That meant ALL of the pain was concentrated on the part of my body connected with that unmediated bubble - my right hip. Jesus wept it was fucking immensely painful but they rocked me side to side, quite hard and the bubble popped or the liquid filled the Then.....blisssssss.

I also had forceps and felt absolutely nothing owing to the spinal.

Oh and I felt no pain but I did feel enough to push. Maybe 95% numb? I dunno I still felt the birth but no pain

Have a planned csection. Totally controlled, nothing at all like an emergency one, you’ll know when it’s happening and can be prepared. The recovery of a planned csection is very different to enduring hours of labour, intervention and eventual emergency csection.

The first one I felt nothing. The second one, I asked to it to wear off slightly at the end, so that I felt more in charge of the pushing stage.

Long labour, not progressing.
Epidural was a blessed relief. I had a C-section and they just topped up the epidural. Good recovery and no injuries or harm to DD.

With DC1 I had a 'normal' birth with pethidine, and it still really hurt. With DC2 I had a planned C-Section with epidural as they were breech. It was great, no pain at all. Of course it's still major surgery, but as PP have said, a planned CS is very different to an emergency CS, and tbh, I didn't find recovery bad at all. I echo what PP have said about speaking to your midwife when you are pregnant as you should be able to get an epidural on the NHS, and a planned CS if you want one. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Two epidurals here, and no pain at all. Long labour with DC1 so slept on and off for 6 hours after I got the epidural. It was much faster with DC2 - gave birth two hours after the epidural, so just enough time to watch a movie on Netflix (I kid you not!) before I pushed the baby out. It was a very calm experience altogether and one I look back on fondly!

Mine failed and no one told me about the top up button. When I complained about the pain the midwife insisted it was pressure not pain, like I wouldn't know the difference
Had to wait for a shift change to get it fixed up and my left leg went numb just after the baby was born...
Not a great experience but it will I hope let people know to speak up for themselves

Agony! Epidural didn't work at all!

The triage nurse insisted I have an epidural and be induced. I’d been in latent labour for 48 hours at that point and my contractions were off the scale. I could kiss that woman.

However, I did choose not to keep topping up when it came to pushing, despite my midwives encouragement. I feared not being able too feel the natural urge to push and I worried about intervention.

For me the epidural made my experience bearable overall. Still painful, but nothing compared to what it could’ve been.

I had an epidural.

I had a really long labour, the 'latent' phase was contractions that for me, made me shout in pain and they were every 3 minutes. I was awake for two nights contracting and I think the lack of sleep actually made the pain a lot worse than if it had been quick (the midwives said that the length of time is often what 'gets' people).

For this phase, having a big lukewarm bath was more effective as gas and air or paracetamol (I couldn't really stay in the bath 2 whole days though).

I did have an epidural when they started me on a drip for the hormone and they were fine about it though it did get delayed a couple of times due to emergencies, but when I knew I was getting it I immediately relaxed. I think in a fast labour they would be less likely to give you one incase youd got to the pushing stage before they managed it. It took all the pain away and as I got closer to pushing I did feel a twinge in my hip but that was it. Couldn't feel the baby come out at all and had an episiotomy. It does slow things down though as you can't move at all really and you have to be monitored and it's harder to push, and it increases the chances of forceps delivery.

The second time it was gearing up to be the same and after 24 hours I went into the hospital and when they said I was still only 2 or 3 cm I burst into tears and my husband said we weren't going until we got pain relief. I got pethidine, because you normally need to be at least 4-5cm for an epidural as otherwise you're lying down being monitored too long. I went straight to sleep, it didnt actually remove the pain as in the sensation but it did remove the negative aspects of it. Like I could laugh about it? I also said as soon as I went in that I wanted an epidural and they just said 'fine' and at handover to next shift they just said 'this lady wants an epidural'. I think it depends what trust you are at as some seem to be more against it than others. This time I didn't top it up as much and it took away 90pc of the pain, it was more just pain in my hip again which was because I was in an uncomfortable position. To give you an idea, I am a very might sleeper and couldn't sleep through any contractions, but I went straight to sleep both times though woke up every time they took my temperature or blood pressure. I could feel the baby coming out but it wasn't painful

I'd advise trying to speak to women who have given birth at the trust you plan to give birth at to ask how they got on with requesting epidurals to give you an idea of how difficult it is. Be very clear and firm, keep repeating at every midwife appointment 'I have a fear of childbirth pain and want an epidural'. If the pain at the time gets too much, get your birth partner to say firmly 'she is not coping with the pain, she has a phobia of childbirth pain and we are not leaving until she has some proper pain relief'. Don't let them fob you off with gas an air or paracetamol, it will only take the edge off the pain. Also if you go to NCT don't fall for the brainwashing, they are slightly militant natural birth enthusiasts so bear this in mind because it does influence their classes.

I've had three children, 2 privately and one on the NHS. I was induced with the second two, but had a very similar labour with them all.
So, to me early labour just feels like period pains. then I put my tens machine on and I can hardly feel it at all.
I was 9cm with all of them and I ask for an epidural as the pain it then getting a bit much. That then takes away the "pain" aspect, but you're still left with the crunchiness as they as born.
If you're worried, have a section.

Birth 1- in a lot of pain with the drip. I absolutely needed the epidural and it was the best thing ever.i have never know pain like it and hope I never will again.

Birth 2- no pain relief needed. Completely different birth and while there was pain with the contractions, there were down points in the pain and it was manageable with good breathing and gas and air.

Two very different births and two very different levels of pain. Had I only had birth2, I’d have probably been a smug cow about the whole birth thing.

"Would going private ensure I could have access to an epidural?"

I don't know, but probably. You could enquire with some private maternity hospitals.

It would be a shame if you felt you had to go private because of your fears.

You could consider sticking with the NHS and employing a doula to support you before and during the birth. They can discuss your fears and strategies for dealing with them, help you make decisions about your preferences for the birth, and advocate for you during the birth itself.

I was not happy with my experience when I gave birth to DC1 and now I'm pregnant with DC2 I intend to have a doula.

However, no private hospital or doula will be able to fully take away your fears and the unpredictability of a vaginal birth. The only option which will minimise the unknown and give you maximum "control" is an ELCS. Of course that comes with some risks and pain/discomfort during recovery. You will need to weigh up the best option for you and I really think that counselling and discussion of your options with an understanding midwife (as well as a doula maybe) will be vital for that.

Pain free. Best decision

Made it easy and sped up the birth

I had an epidural with DC2 and can honestly say it was totally pain free. NHS hospital. Would definitely do it again (although not actually planning on having more). Used a TENS machine from start of labour to about 6-7 cm which I also found very very helpful to control contraction pain. Epidural control was in my own hands - I could push button to top up as and when (although for obvious reasons there Is a safety feature built in so you cannot overdose). Had C section for first and would chose epidural over CS any day - recovery is so much faster.

I had an epidural and it was completely pain free and made giving birth an absolutely lovely experience.

I was induced, they popped my waters and then gave me the epidural before starting the drip to strengthen my contractions.

It was amazing, so calm and relaxing. I was so pain free I fell asleep and they had to wake me up at 10cm to remind me to push. Because I wasn't in pain, I could really listen to the midwife and pushed DS out with only a tiny graze. I was walking around less than an hour later and went home the next day feeling pretty much completely recovered.

I've had three epidurals in two different hospitals/authorities and didn't have a problem accessing them. Staff didn't try to delay or put me off at all.

I did have to wait a bit for them though as there is usually only one anaesthetist at night and if they are busy in an emergency you have to wait. But I was kept updated and they sorted it as soon as possible.

Two of them were completely pain free, it wasn't turned down for me to push or anything and I could still feel the baby being born, just no pain.
Third one was badly positioned and near the end I had some breakthrough pain and used gas & air as well as the epidural, but even that was fine - mild compared to the pain before the epidural!

My midwife tried to suggest that we held off on the epidural for a bit longer but then I had a contraction during the conversation and once it was over and I opened my eyes again she just said "Ok then, I'll go and get you that epidural" it took 2 attempts to get it in right, not 2 insertions but at first it only numbed one side then they fiddled with it and it worked properly.

I then slept through the last 6cm of dilation and was woken up by a midwife needing to check how dilated I was. I then had to watch my bump and ask my midwife to tell me when to push as I couldn't feel my contractions I loved my epidural!

I was induced and in labour for about 12 hours before I got an epidural and it was instant, pain just went. I could top it up every 40 minutes I think. I could feel a bit as time went on as I was in labour almost another 16 hours after that and ended up having emergency c section. Worst bit was the feeling coming back.

I didn't have one either time and never felt like I needed one. It was painful but completely manageable.

It depends What your fears are. I had two very painful inductions with gas and air. My second I had a spinal after birth as the placenta had to be manually ripped away. Not being able to feel my legs scared me more than the pain tbh.

In my NCT group of 7 two had labours which weren't particularly painful, one a home birth, one induced with the pessary in hospital, had a lovely waterbirth.

I was booked for a home birth but it went so quickly (nearly 6 hours start to finish) and the midwife was at another birth so once I started feeling the 'downward' motion got a swift taxi to the hospital.

The pain amped up quite quickly in my case because things were moving fast but it wasn't horrendous in any way - it hurt yes, but what would happen was I would feel my muscles tensing, like electricity 'gathering' in them, and then it would build like a wave building height up to the peak, say three breaths, and then down the other side, and a 2 or 3 minute break.

When I was fully dilated it stopped hurting, and it was just a feeling of power and pressure - like a very magnified version of when you're going for a poo. Now having said that, me and my two friends above had labours where the baby was in a good position for birth, not particularly large etc. You can encourage a baby to be in a good position by using the positions suggested on the spinning babies website during pregnancy, but ultimately you can't control a baby being say, back to back, which is a position which can hurt more than is typical.

The absolute best thing you can do is the positive birth company digital pack - it is absolutely amazing at explaining the whole process of labour, your pain relief choices and how they work, and it has a great birth preferences template. It's only £35, and 100% worth it.

@ThatsNotMyCherry I had an epidural and could still feel everything but it wasn’t really painful, until the episiotomy and the forceps.

It was a trainee who gave me it though, so I am wondering if it was done correctly.