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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to ask how people manage to smell nice?

250 replies

Lostatseason5 · 26/01/2020 11:10

I'm a bit overweight and a bit sweaty :( I have been suffering from depression and although I was managing to drag my ass to work every day I wasn't always showering. :( My new year's resolution was to shower every day. I've been doing this but I still feel unfresh by afternoon, I have colleagues that smell AMAZING! I am too embarrassed to ask them how! Aibu to ask for those of you who are always smelling great your "secret" I now shower each morning wear deodorant but I don't wear perfume as I feel I put too much on, but I'd happily wear one of anyone can recommend a fresh one not overpowering - this will probably sound horrendous that grown adult is asking for help with this but depression can be really debilitating and .trying very hard so of you could be kind I would be grateful thank you (i'm.nearly crying writing this!)

OP posts:
BuddhaAtSea · 26/01/2020 11:37

@cuckooken yours might not, I don’t know. It normally does smell, big time.

thiscouldbethehill · 26/01/2020 11:37

Lots of good advice already, I just wanted to recommend Eau D’Issey body lotion and perfume. Light and fresh smell which I find really lasts.

user100987 · 26/01/2020 11:38

I can't bear it when I go out, particularly for a meal, and someone next to us has an over-bearing perfume on. I find that unsociable. For that reason I'm really careful with perfume. My favourite for years has been Clarins Eau Dynamisante which is very light.

cuckooken · 26/01/2020 11:38

For goodness sake of course small can cling to hair but unless OP colleagues have their nose in her crotch it's unlikely that shaving her pubes is going to make a blind bit of difference.

Changing soap and all the other advice above I'd far more likely to help than taking a razor to the fanny. The idea that in order to be clean we should shave our public hair is ridiculous.

Lozza70 · 26/01/2020 11:38

Clean clothes use a fabric softener, shower every day and wash hair at least every other day. I find a cream deodorant like Sure is the best to keep pits fresh and use a good quality perfume. Elizabeth Arden White Tea smells expensive in my opinion and is quite light. Just some on wrists and neck before you leave the house and at lunchtime and you are all good to go.

Bellesboo2 · 26/01/2020 11:38

I love Lush Snow Fairy and it's made out of natural essential oils. It's more like a body spray than perfume and I'm always complimented on the smell hours after I've sprayed it. I'm also not a massive perfume spray, I tend to be abit heavy handed!

cuckooken · 26/01/2020 11:39

*smell Blush

stellabelle · 26/01/2020 11:39

Hair doesn't smell. HTH

Bacteria sticks to hair and can make it smell big time. Shaving armpits and pubes does make a difference. .

UntamedWisteria · 26/01/2020 11:39

OP, I find antiperspirant more effective than deodorant (I use Mitchum stick).

Clean shirt/top every day. Also stick to natural fabrics like cotton, as I find synthetics (especially polyester tops) can get whiffy very quickly.

And obviously underwear & socks/tights.

But there's no point keeping your body clean & fresh if you don't apply the same attention to your clothes.

Personally I don't think perfume is necessary everyday (and don't like working with women who's perfume is overpowering, or men with strong aftershave) but I do occasionally use a Jo Malone eau de toilette.

Flowers
mrsbyers · 26/01/2020 11:41

Verbena from L’occitane - refreshing and not like a perfume to me. Or if on a budget I also use body shop body spray , mango or citrus to have a quick spritz during the day , wakens me up and I get lots of people commenting on how nice they smell

2020GoingForward · 26/01/2020 11:43

Antiperspirant roll-on deodorant -I used Dove.

Could it be your fabrics - cotton, linen or surpsingly viscose are all better at not making you sweat so much. Making sure clothes dry properly -and don't have a musty smell.

I get sweaty boobs at minute so bought some cotton strips of fabric there - and then have option of swapping or removing during the day.

I've got those charcoalsole shoe inlays - and occasionaltly get foot deoderorant for me and one of my children as feet and shoes can be stinky - altenrating shoes can help there as well.

NYCDreaming · 26/01/2020 11:45

Here is what I do (I get paranoid about smells too). I don't use all of these every day but a good combination makes me feel great:

  1. Great smelling shampoo (Aussie stuff smells great to me, or coconut hair masks).
  2. Soap rather than shower gel - any but cheapy soap is fine
  3. Mitchum stick deodorant - I've tried them all and found that this one keeps the fresh scent the longest
  4. Clean clothes washed with a bit of fabric softener (I find you only need to use about a third of what it says on the bottle to get the scent) or dried outside on the line.
  5. For an extra boost lovely-smelling body lotions (I like the Child Farm grapefruit moisturiser).

If you still don't feel fresh then have a think about your house and whether any damp or cooking smells might be sticking to your hair or clothes. Make sure you're sleeping in clean sheets (I wash mine once a week) and that you're airing your house out regularly even in winter.

Hope this helps!

LH1987 · 26/01/2020 11:45

If you’re a bit bigger putting on talcum powder after your shower in the morning in areas that sweat or chaff will make a difference.

Also, it is possible that it is a bit in your head that you smell at all ! If you (like me) are over weight you might just be self conscious are making things up.

Also deodorant wipes are very handy.

Isitreally77 · 26/01/2020 11:45

I use Mitchum roll on every morning, soap and shower gel in the shower, wear perfume every day and clean clothes every day(I was bullied as a child so it turned into a clean freak). I also wash my hair every day (its curly and the only way I can stop it going frizzy).

gamerchick · 26/01/2020 11:46

Toilety range? From shower, body lotion and scent. Build up the nice smell type of thing.

Plus rubbing body lotion in can make you feel good on its own even. The spray ones make it quicker.

Londonborncatty · 26/01/2020 11:47

Well done OP on sticking to your New Years resolution. You sound like a really strong person.
It’s very hard to know how we smell ourselves, so I’m sure you probably smell better than you think.
As a check list I would always make sure:

  1. Shower daily with a soap not just a shower gel
  2. Wear deodorant after every shower
  3. Make sure you have clean hair (for me this means a daily wash as I have greasy hair, but it varies from person to person. I wouldn’t leave longer than 3 days though)
  4. Make sure your clothes are clean. Anything next to your skin, like a blouse or t shirt probably will need washing every time you wear it. A jumper over a t shirt or trousers will last longer.
  5. You could use a fabric conditioner on your clothes. The smell of fresh clothing makes me feel good.
  6. Wash your bedding weekly.
  7. Clean your teeth twice a day. Make sure to floss regularly too.
  8. Maybe look for a scent that you find uplifting. Look at Neom or Jo malone. They are not too strong so you could keep in your bag and use again during the day. Neom have scents to help with mood and are natural. Not cheap but may be worth it.
  9. Maybe introduce a positive mantra into your day. Say when you’re cleaning your teeth, think about all the positive things you’re doing. Then out loud, tell yourself that your are strong and brave.

Good luck x

AllergicToAMop · 26/01/2020 11:48

For goodness sake of course small can cling to hair but unless OP colleagues have their nose in her crotch it's unlikely that shaving her pubes is going to make a blind bit of difference.

It can make to the OP. It certainly did to me as a fellow overweight sweaty person. It's easier to keep clean and fresh like that, especially for someone who is super conscious about it.

Londonborncatty · 26/01/2020 11:48

NYC just realised that I have posted pretty much what you said! Sorry, hadn’t read the last few posts. Great minds!

SerenDippitty · 26/01/2020 11:49

I don’t think perfume is necessary everyday but I do use a scented body lotion. I really like L’Occitane Neroli & Orchidee, very light and subtle. Use the perfume only if going out in the evening.

Spied · 26/01/2020 11:50

Agree with pp regarding your home. Smells definitely stick to your clothes/person.
A perfectly clean woman at work smells disgusting until she takes her coat off ( cooking fat smell).
I'd follow all above advice. I'd also recommend going into Next and trying their perfumes. Really lovely and you could buy a couple of 10mls to put in your bag for under £15.

FuckingHateRats · 26/01/2020 11:50

Layering scents works well for me. For Mon-Fri I use Body Shop pink grapefruit - I use the hand gel, the hand cream, and the perfume. It's cheap enough I don't mind topping up through the day and it lets me appreciate my more expensive perfume at the weekends (am a teacher and am not wasting them on kids!). Agree with Mitchum deodorant and scented body lotions too.

albertatrilogy · 26/01/2020 11:52

I think only on Mumsnet would shaving pubes be recommended as a remedy for someone concerned about whether they smell clean.

My own solutions would - other than basic dental hygiene, showering, washing hair when it gets greasy - involve wearing natural fibres, rather than synthetic.

A good bra helps to avoid getting sweaty under your boobs.

Continuing with any regime that involves keeping weight under control and taking regular exercise will help - given that you are more likely to overheat/sweat if you're not physically fit.

Ouchaheadinmybehind · 26/01/2020 11:52

If you use shower gel switch to a bar of soap

^this was life changing for me. I always felt I smelled sweaty & of b.o despite showering one or twice a day and always having clean clothes. I stay a lot fresher by washing with soap rather than shower gel and using sure maximum protection AT NIGHT after a shower.

Apply Deodorant at Night
When you apply antiperspirant at night, your sweat glands have more time to absorb the aluminum. Because your body temperature cools down at night, you sweat less, giving your antiperspirant a fighting chance to absorb into your skin and block your sweat glands

I do then spray antiperspirant on my pits throughout the day because I’m paranoid about becoming smelly & I regularly spray myself with body spray too.

Ninkanink · 26/01/2020 11:52
Flowers

Bar soap is much better than shower gel. ‘Dove’ does not count as a bar soap as it’s 25% lotion (or something like that anyway). You need proper old school bar soap. It actually washes away bacteria which will help with smells.

Always wear fresh, clean clothing after a shower, that helps a lot. Don’t rewear anything that has been next to your body without washing it first. Jumpers or sweatshirts can be worn again as long as you had a tee shirt under if you hang them over a chair or something to air after wearing (check if there’s any smell before you rewear).

When you wash your clothing, spray a bit of diluted white vinegar on the armpit area and leave for a minute before you start the machine.

Stay away from polyester and man-made fabrics if at all possible. Cotton, wool and other natural fibres are best for keeping fresh. Linen is great too, especially in the summer. Clothing made from those will last much longer too, so it’s better to pay more to begin with if you can. I don’t know what your budget is but if you can afford it you may need to get rid of some or all of your older clothes as there may be lingering smells, in which case it doesn’t matter how fresh and clean you are! If you can’t afford full cotton then a mix is okay but try to make sure it’s got as big a % of cotton as possible.

I use ‘pitrok’ deodorant (I get it in boots), it’s a mineral deodorant and works very well.

You can bring baby wipes to work and freshen up your underarm area halfway through the day, dry and reapply deodorant.

I use perfumes from M&S (although I don’t buy from them anymore because I am boycotting, so I obviously can’t recommend them!). You don’t need to spend a lot on perfume, lots of people like the ones from Aldi, for example. I would suggest a light perfume for daytime - I think heavier perfumes are best for evenings (but that’s subjective). Don’t use too much perfume either. Just one spray over your hair midway through the day should be enough to carry through till evening.

stripeypillowcase · 26/01/2020 11:54

op you are on the right track.
well done so far Smile

clean clothes daily, especially underwear and tops.
washing with soap.
washing hair regularly.
nice smelling body lotion, just try a few, they don't need to be expensive.
using anti perspirant, ideally roll on or stick.