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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to ask how people manage to smell nice?

250 replies

Lostatseason5 · 26/01/2020 11:10

I'm a bit overweight and a bit sweaty :( I have been suffering from depression and although I was managing to drag my ass to work every day I wasn't always showering. :( My new year's resolution was to shower every day. I've been doing this but I still feel unfresh by afternoon, I have colleagues that smell AMAZING! I am too embarrassed to ask them how! Aibu to ask for those of you who are always smelling great your "secret" I now shower each morning wear deodorant but I don't wear perfume as I feel I put too much on, but I'd happily wear one of anyone can recommend a fresh one not overpowering - this will probably sound horrendous that grown adult is asking for help with this but depression can be really debilitating and .trying very hard so of you could be kind I would be grateful thank you (i'm.nearly crying writing this!)

OP posts:
Morred · 26/01/2020 12:46

I don’t think anyone’s mentioned hand cream yet - I have a strongish scented one on my desk at work (I use Neal’s Yard geranium) and I moisturise my hands every so often (eg after I’ve been to the loo and washed them). It smells really nice and it’s much harder to go over the top than spraying perfume.

I also sometimes spritz a small amount of perfume on the ends of my hair - it holds the scent really well and I get a fresh waft of it when I redo my ponytail/flick my hair about/fiddle with it throughout the day.

If you are overweight (I am too) make sure you’re wearing big enough tights/leggings so they’re not too tight round the crotch. I always feel less clean/fresh when everything feels a bit too tight. It’s annoying having to hoik up slightly too large ones but I prefer it that way to too small.

hellcarryingahandbag · 26/01/2020 12:47

Oh, and use Pear’s bar soap in lieu of shower gel, it’s about 85p and smells divine!

Cherrysherbet · 26/01/2020 12:47

Mitchums roll on deodorant is a game changer. I wouldn’t use anything else.

JustFinished · 26/01/2020 12:49

I shower every morning, wash clothes with fabric softener (never wear a top more than 1 day, even a jumper), wear deodorant and perfume. I won’t leave the house for work without deodorant and perfume in my bag too as I usually put more on during the day. I’ve always been quite a sweaty person (though not overweight or anything), I pour with sweat if I get stressed so I am quite paranoid about smelling or even sweat patches. Roll on is meant to be better (so my husband says) but I hate the feel of it so just use normal spray.

I’ve worn the same perfume for several years now, it’s quite subtle and I get a lot of nice comments about it. Perfume is very personal I think, what one person likes another might hate. Although nothing worse than sharing an office with someone whose perfume you can smell from 30 feet away when it’s pungent, yuck!

Thislittlefinger · 26/01/2020 12:49

I haven't read the full thread but giving up caffeine especially coffee is what worked best for me. The coffee probably made me sweat more and smell more 'bitter'. I used to wash all tops with ace bleach/ vinegar etc and even then the smell sometimes lingered. Also cooler showers, with flannel and bar soap, I showered before breakfast as having hot drink had me sweaty before I got the antiperspirant on, let antiperspirant dry before dressing, natural fabrics with loose cut under the arms and change clothes everyday. If you dry clothes indoors spin them twice so they dry very fast.

Forestcantrun · 26/01/2020 12:50

All of the above. I agree with PP about making sure clothes are aired well. I've a super sense of smell and I've been known to rewash anything that's been put away even slightly damp by DH. It has a very distinct smell.
I'm a massive fan of a fabric softener. The gentle ones aimed at babies clothes are Strong enough and a little goes a long way.
Shower, dry stick deodorant then a blast of dove spray deodorant ant when it's dry.
I agree with washing hands when you feel a bit unclean mid day, brush hair, little blast of deodorant and even brush your teeth. Really freshens you up. I spend a lot of my day leaning over people so I'm also very mindful of how I may smell.
I love perfume but the one I wears actually smells best when you get very warm, so I never ever touch mine up. I spray a little bit on my neck in the am and I don't smell it myself at all until I've had a day of walking and working behind me.

Puddlelane123 · 26/01/2020 12:50

Bobbi Brown ‘Beach’ perfume has a really fresh, almost soap-like quality and smells very ‘clean’. Might be just what you are after.

Lana1234 · 26/01/2020 12:51

Agree with the pears bar soap, always feel so fresh after. I also use and love the soap and glory body butters, quite rich texture but does smell amazing and always lasts. Mitchum for deodorant and a light perfume. I always tend to have a deodorant and perfume freshen up mid day which helps too

Vilanelle · 26/01/2020 12:52

Shower every day, clean clothes, I also use soap and glory body spray (most you madly), everyone comments how clean it smells!

Tattooedmama · 26/01/2020 12:52

I try shower daily but if i dont have time ill have a strip wash, moisturise with coco butter (smalls amazing) roll on under arms, charlie red body spray then perfume is either Burberry or Boss orange

Forestcantrun · 26/01/2020 12:52

It's lancome la Vie Est belle, but it depends on your own personal tastes. Someone mentioned Vera Wang love struck, it's a good subtle laser, as is VW Princess. Both very affordable.

Tattooedmama · 26/01/2020 12:53

Smelle not smalls

Tattooedmama · 26/01/2020 12:53

Smells

Forestcantrun · 26/01/2020 12:53

Laster. Not laser😂

ShreksAuntie · 26/01/2020 12:54

I’ve been using a dettol hard soap to wash rather than a body wash and that has really helped me with staying fresh all day. Mitchum deodorant is also good and smells clean.

EngagedAgain · 26/01/2020 12:56

Not read full thread so expect some tips be repeated. Obviously start the day with a shower. I weekly shave armpits and in summer use mitchum the stick one. It really does work. In winter 'sure' on a stick. Wear clothes you feel comfortable in, preferably not too tight especially under arms. Also natural fabrics or main mix of natural fabric. Get clothes that can be washed on 60 degrees, even if it says 40. Most non delicates will be ok. Better still, if you can wear light colours use a biological powder detergent. If it only does you half a day, maybe you could take a spare top, and refresh using wipes under arms. I used to have a sweat problem and the more you think about it the worse it is. Also, I found if you start off fresh and clean, even if you sweat it don't start smelling terrible that quick, so you can be confident which in turn calms everything down. As for perfume - if I feel I'm going to sweat when with other people, I put a little of several different perfumes, in different places. Covers all bases, and the ones I use complement each other. It's better to be the same type I think. Happy to be corrected on that!

Foghead · 26/01/2020 12:56

M&S have some nice soaps and body sprays.
One of my friends told me hat to smell nice all day, spray perfume in a cloud in front of you then walk into it (close your eyes).
It sticks to your hair and clothes so lasts longer.

Barbie222 · 26/01/2020 12:59

You are doing the right thing and it will honestly have made a difference not just to how you smell but also to your self respect and so on. Pop your coat in the wash if you don't feel that fresh, I love the smell of fabric conditioner on mine.

Brown76 · 26/01/2020 13:02

I use laundry sanitiser which helps with sweaty smells that can cling. Shower with soap and a bit of shower gel after that. One of those 48 hour stick deodorants every morning, a lightly scented body butter.

Jaxhog · 26/01/2020 13:03

If you find you get a bit sweaty, try some medicated body powder. If you don't use too much it keeps you smelling sweet and feeling fresh. Too many people just pour more perfume on, which is horrible. People who smell nice are invariably just clean and fresh and not covered in perfumed products.

Coffeetime989 · 26/01/2020 13:04

I find shaving my armpits does help, I think the deodorant seems to roll on more evenly and I feel less sweaty - so possibly partly psychological! Shaving other areas doesn’t make a difference for me - but cotton knickers do.

Washing clothes is a big one, I work in an environment where a lot of people are in jeans/jumper style clothes so things you could be tempted to rewear. Jeans I wear a max of 3 times before washing (depending on what I’ve done), everything else is washed after one wear. Some of my colleagues say they don’t wash their jeans for months and I never smell anything on them but I can always smell mine after the 2/3 wears point.

If your skin is okay with biopowder, I find it’s much better than non-bio, I use fabric conditioner too and unstoppables and try to vary the scents as if you use the same ones you get used to it.

Similar to PP, proper airing makes a difference. I don’t have a dryer so everything is dried on a heated airer and I tend to just switch it off when it’s dried and leave what I’m planning to wear imminently on it (it’s upstairs in a room away from cooking smells) rather than put in a drawer to get musty.

Changing your pillow case frequently helps with any smells on your (head!) hair too, I have very curly hair so wash it only every 3 days as otherwise it just dries out. I know when I’ve struggled with depression washing the entire bed set has often seemed like a mountain, but just the pillowcase more often was achievable.

Echo the many PP about bar soap vs shower gel, I tend to use something like pears initially to get clean then do a go over with dove as I like the smell.

If I’m eating something with onion etc for lunch, I take a toothbrush and paste into work and use them after, otherwise I don’t bother at lunch.

MitziK · 26/01/2020 13:05

I always notice people that use Dove original or Infacare in their baths, as the clean, fresh scent lingers.

The cause of body odour can vary. Some of the things I do, especially when I don't feel quite clean are;

Using a seasalt scrub.
Keeping body hair short, as the hairs do trap sweat and bacteria.
Using crispy towels to dry off - hot wash, no softener, tumble dried.

It could be that your body heat is releasing smells ingrained in your clothes through the day. Some things need to be binned, others can be hot washed without fabric softener. They need to dry as quickly as possible and tumbledrying or ironing helps kill off the bacteria in them.

Is your washing machine clean or mouldy inside? That can create smells that get worse during wear. Clean the seal, the drawer and the compartment. I use Daz, as that seems to cause the least mould growth, and only use Comfort Pure (because Ecover changed their softener scents and I hate the replacement ones) in very small amounts on just the things that absolutely need it. If there were issues with clothes still smelling musty or of bodies after doing that, I'd think about trying the antibacterial wash additive.

Make sure your clothes fit nicely. Looser ones are less likely to get as sweaty. Change them all daily.

Clean socks every day, different shoes each day.

Fresh bed linen weekly. Hot washed and dried.

Sometimes the quilt itself and pillows can hold a lot of smells and body oils. It's not the end of the world if you replace them.

Does you shower have a decent flow rate and pressure? If it's just trickling out, it might not be rinsing your skin and body properly.

Sometimes people who haven't been able to manage self care end up with bacterial/fungal issues that are noticeable by their smell. Perhaps using a specialist wash would help that - I really do think that Hibiscrub used for a short period solves many, many issues (acne, fungal infection in skin folds, etc). You spent a long time not being well enough - it takes time to get into practice of everything being clean - water and soap running over the skin isn't always enough. Another, possibly sounding silly, thing to do is to go swimming. Nobody I have ever known to swim regularly smells bad. I suppose it's because they're immersed in dilute sterilising fluid for an hour at a time, then shower. Feels nice to do something that's purely for your pleasure as well.

Make sure you're completely dry before dressing. Dampness can collect in skin folds/underneath the breasts - to put clothes that aren't quite clean themselves (see the washing and drying of those) onto still damp skin can be giving the fungus/bacteria perfect conditions to grow.

And yes, some foods smell. Try cutting down on high sugar and carby foods if you can, not too much in the way of garlic and drink tons of water - you could be chronically dehydrated, especially if you do sweat more than some do.

Context - I'm one of those people who genuinely do not 'need' deodorant - there's a genetic variation that gives people dry ear wax and very little underarm odour. But I've always lived with people who do begin to smell quickly because they aren't genetic freaks and I am still aware that without making sure your skin and everything that touches it is absolutely clean, that smells follow, even for weirdos people like me. Maybe you work with people who don't sweat much (another genetic thing) or have the same gene as I do?

Ninkanink · 26/01/2020 13:06

Oh, another thing! Always hang your towels after use and wash weekly on a 60 degree wash.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 26/01/2020 13:07

As others have said, switching to proper bar soap in the shower and Mitchum deodorant.

Do your clothes smell fresh? I was having an issue with under arms on tops getting whiffy after I'd had them on a few hours. That could be the problem. I switched to biological powder, used dettol laundry liquid and washed everything at the highest temperature that I could. If anything was whiffy after that i got rid I if it. Continuing to wash with bio powder and occasional use of the dettol laundry liquid has stopped the problem reoccurring.

Perfume is so subjective. I like a light spray of coco mademoiselle.

MyuMe · 26/01/2020 13:12

Bless you. Depression is so hard.

Baby wipes? Slip your shirt off in a loo cubicle at work and have a bit of a wash?