To change my job and take a big pay cut because it's all just got too much?

[unicorngymnastics]

Currently work in a middle management position in the public sector which involves bringing a lot of work home in the evenings and at weekends. There's also a lot of pressure attached (as most would expect for the position) and I really feel like I can't carry on in this environment. I've lost my love for the job and the stress I feel from the pressure is making me feel like a completely different person.

I've had a difficult couple of years personally but everything is coming together now and it's as though I'm now just really exhausted. I've been going full speed for 2 years in survival mode and now I'm not having to be like that I feel like I need to take my foot off the pedal.

I have been offered a job at a family friendly company that I think would really benefit my kids (more time with them, not missing all the school runs and assemblies) and my mental health.

However, I'm really scared to do it. I worry that in years to come I will kick myself for limiting my pay/ability to move house/pension contributions etc. I know these things are not the be all and end all but I am what if? thinker by nature. Is there anyone who has made a similar decision and now a few years down the line can tell me it was the best thing they did?

What is the pay cut? As dependent on tax etc it may end up being less than you think per month. A few years ago my DH took a pay cut of about £7k pa (to come off shifts) and we cut back on a few things (sky etc) but didn’t really feel any poorer...I certainly felt a lot richer for him not working shifts and being around every weekend!

My dh did. Just had enough. Constant what's app mgs, phone calls,emails, working his days off and so on. Was on 37k now on 26k. So much happier.

Do it, it sucks working in the public sector. I'm thinking of leaving too. It's just not worth the stress.

I was, until recently, a teacher. I knew I couldn't take much more but I kept pushing and pushing until I had a breakdown. It's not worth it.

Look after your mental health and emotional wellbeing and the money will come right. It has to, because what you get is what you get. But at least you'll be alive and healthy and happy.

If you think you can afford it now, you should do it.

I had pretty much this exact change forced on me about 2 years ago by illness (I don't have kids is the only difference). I now work from home part-time and earn less than half what I earned after years of climbing the slippery pole to get to a senior post in my profession. I found out that the money just wasn't worth the trade off in terms of my health (especially mental health). I'm now finally in a position where I can start looking at making pension contributions and so on. As I usually work on short projects it can be very nerve-wracking at times but I have 2 or 3 regular clients, and several others who are ad hoc, and I now have faith that should one of those clients no longer need me, I would be able to get similar work. It has taken around 18 months to get to this point though.

You can always make additional pension contributions (depending on who you work for) or take out a private pension. And you might find you have more energy anyway if your job isn't sucking it all out of you. (Been there, done that; I specialised in taking really tough jobs no one else wanted. And it bit me on the bum quite hard....the job was at least part of the reason I got sick.)

So as someone who is poorer but much, much happier, I'm going to paraphrase what lots of my health professional friends say, which is that no one on their deathbed ever wished they'd spent more time in the office....

Whatever you decide to do, good luck.

I’d go for it.
Life is about prioritizing what to do (if you have the luxury of options, of course) with the time you have. I’d choose less stress and more family time (not always less stressful 😂) over a bigger house and better pension.

No brainier in my mind life’s too short.

@bettybyebye - I totally get you. We are all richer now dh is home and a part of life now.

I did it 6 years ago.
The best thing I ever did.

Poptasmagorical I can definitely relate!

if you can afford it then go for it. it is still a job, your health and time with the children is important. Money isn't everything.

Have you told them they are taking the piss? If you announce you are leaving they might realise the job actually needs two people, or that you need an assistant.

I left a frontline public sector job with relentless pressure and terrible hours. I had just got married and knew I emwanted to have kids fairly soon. I moved sideways and dropped my hours. Although I will always miss it, I have never truly regretted it for a second. That was 10 years ago.

Probably should have included more specific details. I'd be dropping from 50,000 to 25,000.

DP is on 20,000 so I really feel responsible for our lifestyle and although we will be ok on paper any change in our lifestyle will be as a result of me. I feel quite guilty about that!

Your success stories are really reassuring me so thank you!

I did. Pretty much halved my pay which took some adjusting but I’m much happier now.

Having read your update I should say that the cost has been a constant worry about finances in the back of my head. What does your DP say?

I know lots of people who have made similar decisions. Some fields of work are very difficult to stay in and the pressure becomes intolerable for many.

I am in a similar position and I wouldn't do it. But I like my lifestyle too much.

I'd do it. My DH took a big cut for lower level job with less stres. Much calmer house. No point making yourself ill. If you can still manage on your joint income it's worth it. No point living in a big house if you are miserable.! Money really isn't everything.

DP is very much of the 'do it' frame of mind. He thinks that you cut your cloth accordingly and the lack of stress is the payoff. He's much more relaxed about things than me.

As long as you've done the long term financial planning, do it. We spend so much time at work, it's horrible when you don't like it and hard not to let that deep into home life.

IME most public sector struggle to transition to private, as it is just so different. Why don't you ask to go back down the ladder where you are now?

If you can't manage on less then your lifestyle would be unsustainable if something happened such as you lost your job.
For that reason I really don't think it should be the main factor, its far better to live on less than you earn.

I used to earn almost £80k in the civil service and now earn £12k as a TA (lone parent). I walk part of the way to school with my son, I am home 15 minutes after him and we are both so much happier. Coincided with a large series of lifestyle changes, some intentional, some not : downsized house, retrained as a teacher, paid off all debt bar mortgage and car and recently came into an inheritance (plus my CMS application revealed that I had been getting far, far less than I should have been from my ex). I am about to take on a lodger which will also help. We don’t live a life of luxury - no TV package, I shop at Aldi and meal plan like a boss but TBH, the fact I have all the school holidays and so much more time with my son makes up for not being able to splash out on treats all the time because I don’t feel guilty for not spending time with him.

My husband has just taken the same paycut as you, changing his job to one that’s more relaxed and flexible, and I’m really happy for him as he’s been miserable for a while. I work flexibly part time and while money will be tighter I completely believe happiness is worth it!