To think local facebook groups are full of petty complainers?

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

I've recently moved to a village and joined the facebook group for the new build estate I'm on. It was meant to be a place for the community to share ideas, organise events etc. Instead it's full of passive aggressive sniping about bins and parking. Even if I know it's not about me, I get really anxious and paranoid. I suffer from anxiety and one poster said that someone on our street had put rubbish in her bin and she was going to march round and knock on their door! It was not me, but I felt really on edge.
Yesterday we hired a carpet cleaner and while the carpet dried, we let the dog into the garden and nipped out to the shop. We were just over half an hour and the dog must've started barking. My dd, 13, was at home but didn't think to let him in

I then get a notification on Facebook and someone on the group has posted about a dog barking every day on our street - the poor thing is outside all the time.... it was our dog as there aren't any other dogs on our end of the street.

Dp works from home, the dog is never alone and is usually in the house! Today he went out to play and barked a little, but the door was open for him to come back in and he wasn't distressed! We are conscious not to disturb neighbours and he does not spend much time in the garden - maybe twice a day. He doesn't usually bark out there either. So this was clearly made up! I was upset as three people posted sad faces - as if our lovely dog was somehow neglected.

Dp posted that this wasn't a frequent occurrence at all and explained about the carpet cleaner and when I phoned dd, she let him in. I appreciate a barking dog can be annoying, but it seems that rather than speaking to neighbours, people are posting passive aggressive complaints on this group and exaggerating matters to boot.

I left the group as I decided it was having a negative effect on my anxiety. AIBU to find these groups very petty?

YANBU and I think you have done the right thing by leaving the group.

I belong to loads of “Spotted” groups local to me and I find them hilarious 😂

But if it was making you anxious YANBU life is too short.

Yanbu we have one of these fb pages where I live too, I seriously lose the will to live when I see some of the posts!
The main complaints seem to be people having bonfires at the weekend and someone letting their bush get out of hand I kid you not! I only look at ours once every month just to check I don't actually miss anything important like road closures or burglaries etc but, like you, I get a bit paranoid I'm going to accidentally do something slightly wrong and be named and shamed by the local busy bodies!

It's the law for all FB community/residents groups to be like this. Ours is

It's ridiculous. The village is very peaceful and virtually crime free. Nothing much happens. Someone once posted that a teenage boy was walking around the estate suspiciously. He lives here and was listening to music! I've moved from a higher crime city suburb and it's lovely here, but my goodness, the moaning and pettiness!

YANBU but I think there is a huge crossover of Facebook complainers and MN complainers. All under the banner of “Gripes About Petty Issues”

Most of these people can be found “fumming” about such issues

That's true but I don't mind MN (I'm complaining myself!) because its anonymity makes it feel less personal. The group seems to be full of personally directed criticism and gripes.

I once got a photo of my car (inc reg) put on there for parking irresponsibly, by my next door neighbour. We're in terraces but theirs is at the end so as well as their drive down the side of their house, they also have a front garden with a wall across it, which I park in front of. No dropped kerb, not a single mm across their drive. They only have one car, so they don't struggle to park.

They put on their post that there's a public car park that's free at the end of the street, so if I couldn't park outside of my own house, I should go there. Firstly, it's at the end of a LONG street, secondly they do not own the street whether it's outside their house or not.

Now, whenever I leave the house in the car, if they're in, they will move their car from their drive to where I park, so I have to go elsewhere (far down the street) when I get home.

It's just so fucking pointless, and actually makes me want to move.

Even if they did have two cars it'd be first come first served for a space that they didn't own - but they only have one, and it's absolutely fine on their drive!

Our local one is full of knobs who blame everything on the people moving to the new estate on the outskirts of our small town. I no longer get notifications on the group because it's either that crap or people begging.

YADNBU. Ours is too.
Although we have the weekly town big up where someone posts “ thanks xyz, I just love our amazing town” and a million people smugly join in the comments. Usually from people from a big city who have lived here a nano second. Forgetting that the last few posts about the massive increase in traffic, littering and burglary have only come about since everyone “found” our town. And it’s vomit inducing in its own right frankly.

I agree there is a MN overlap.

I shouldn't take it personally, should I? It's upset me as my dog is loved and well cared for and yesterday was probably the first time he'd been put outside for that length of time because of the carpet cleaner.

There’s a lot of ours about people walking around appearing dodgy, complaints about farmers (it’s a village surrounded by farms), muck spreading, tractors, dogs barking, teenagers hanging around and being intimidating. I just think people have very small lives and need to fill them better

Completely agree.

Numerous posts about “homeless” cats - cue a photo of a splendidly fat cat.
Repeated complaints about parking - the area I live in is notorious for lack of parking spaces. Did you not notice when viewing said property?
Bin moans - tbf they’ve got a point about this
I find it all predictably entertaining. A constant loop of pettiness.

Yeah the bin moan was justified, but if you know who the culprit is, speak to them. Threatening to knock on doors on the FB group just makes us all feel on edge.

It’s a shame it triggered your anxiety, OP, and I think it’s for the best you came off it.

I love my local ones, and use them as a form of entertainment:

“Someone PARKED on the ROAD outside my HOUSE, how VERY dare they!!”

“This cat that I’ve started feeding and giving attention inexplicably keeps coming back, what ever should I do?”

“Some YOUTHS have just been seen WALKING down X Road LAUGHING. Does anyone know the number of the PCSO so this can be REPORTED”.

“I’m posting a fake request for recommendations purely so I can get my mate to come on and plug my nail/hair/husbands plumbing business”

Admittedly there’s some useful stuff on there occasionally; and I’ve found out about some lovey local events that I wouldn’t have otherwise. There’s been a few massive bun fights around election time as well which is always good for a laugh. I’m always amazed when people behave as petty and vicious as MN when on fb it’s actually got their name tied to it!

Leave the group, they attract all the nobbers, it's not worth worrying about

Dp is still on there, so he can relay any important messages.

good thing leaving

these type of groups are for bored people with shit all to do all day

Ours also has people moaning about roadworks and tagging the council because there is a discarded coffee cup on the pavement outside their house. Just pick it up for goodness sake! I only venture onto it when absolutely necessary.

How is this different to Mumsnet?😁

@siring1 because it's personal. The group is specific to one new build estate and comments are directed at people on that estate.

Yanbu we have a similar page for where we live and it’s full of the same sort sort of complaints rarely anything positive or useful information on there.

I left my local group. There was one person who posted a "fun game" where you had to give your maiden name and your children's surnames and I pointed out that some people might use that info for less than honest reasons. I got a few comments about how it was "just for fun" and that anyone worried about that needn't play along and that I was the "fun police".

The group is full of people complaining about foreign people setting up businesses as a front for money laundering, how tesco came and ruined all the local businesses and how it's a shame that the market shut down but then any time a new venture starts up, be it a chain or an independent thing, they're whinging about it. An old, unused, derelict church was knocked down a while ago and people on that group complained. When asked if they ever attended said church when it was open, no-one said yes.

It is the type of page that I love to hate but the negativity about absolutely everything got me down so I left. I haven't missed it.

My local groups are racist - any local trouble is caused by Eastern Europeans/Slavs. We don't get local toerags.

And when they're not being racist they're talking about how the local kids deserve to be knocked down on their bikes because they're not wearing helmets,natural selection and all that. Whatever your views about cycle helmets, car drivers are the adults and should be driving carefully around people on bikes, whether they have helmets on or not. When I made that point I got shouted down.

So I left the groups.

The main reason to be in the groups was to find out about local events and find tradespeople. But I go to face to face networking events and can ask there.

I joined my local FB group after my neighbour had a break in attempt and someone I worked with told me about it because it was posted on the group.
After that I thought it was best to be informed.

There is quite a lot of moaning about parking and people picking up after their dogs, but I mostly ignore it. Don't have a car or a dog so it's not something that affects me.
I would feel very upset if I got "called out" for something on the page, I think it would make me feel like I was being watched, which isn't what you want in your village.
Don't blame you for leaving.