To find weekends stressful...?

[mommathatwearspink]

Two DC (5.5 & 2.5). We spend our weekends running around to activities and parties for them. When we are at home, they won’t play on their own... have to go from one activity to another and it’s 100 miles per hour and it’s all about the next meal.
We try and get our as much as possible but days like today when we are going to visit family shortly, it’s mayhem and i find it very stressful.

Me and DP work full time so weekends are for family time but we are also exhausted and would just love to sit down for half an hour. AIBU?

No you’re not. Having young kids can be thoroughly shit tbh. They are relentless and sometimes I pray for the working week so I can go for a piss by myself.

Yanbu, those are challenging years when kids are that age and you also have 2 careers on the go, and weekends are not really much of a break.

I have only 1 DC so it was easier than you but he was full on. However now he's 8 weekends are genuinely a break because he can be left to play himself or have a friend over and doesn't need so much supervision.

I'm sure others will be along with practical suggestions for you! But it will get better over time so hang in there

Maybe your DC need time to rest and relax too. Perhaps if you slowed their weekends down they would relax into playing more themselves.

Going to activities and parties isn't compulsory.

Some weekends can be manic. Running here and there to gym, football, appointments and then there's the laundry, cooking, cleaning, homework. Sometimes far from relaxing!

Mine are often very hectic too . Kids activities are in morning so If we don’t have anything else planned then try and keep afternoons chilled . When you add parties and other stuff in it gets very busy .

I totally understand where you're coming from ( although mine are older at 7 and 8 so easier than yours.)

I'm a single parent and work full time in a stressful job. Until recently, I noticed I was even more exhausted on a Sunday night than I was on a Friday night! Realised something had to change. Trouble was, they both keep asking "where are we going today?" And expecting to be entertained.

So now I've introduced Pyjama Day for Sundays, at least until spring. Saturday's are busy with swimming lessons and roller skating club. Sunday's we don't get dressed, we catch up on homework, bit of ironing etc but lots of board games, watching movies (with compulsory popcorn) and some screen time for them and relaxation time for me. I love Sunday's now.

Maybe not feasible for you with a 2.5 yr old though.....

Why do they need activities? Why can't you all spend weekends together, go to the park or something?

I think you need to teach them to entertain themselves a bit and wind down the activity a bit

Our weekends aren’t stressful. Two weekends out of the month we’ll do activities with the kids but the other two we relax and just play at home really. It’s no good for anyone not having any down time at all.

Cut down on parties. And stop rushing around. Constantly entertaining children is unnecessary. Let them be bored and play with each other

Yep. Mine are 3.5 and 5 so more or less in the same boat. Weekends are very very hard!! The working week definitely has its perks!

I’m hoping it gets easier as they get older....

Take them to the play centre- kids can steam off and you can sit and get a coffee.
We are very busy over the week so trying to relax more over the weekend.

I dread weekends too but for slightly different reasons. I'm a SAHM and by the time the weekend rolls around I've nothing left to do with them! I've done all the toddler crap/activities during the week and struggle to fill Saturday and Sunday. I have no family close by and DH works saturdays. It's so dull yet stressful and I look forward to Monday when DD1 is back at preschool and our day has more structure.

Mine are similar ages and me and DH work full time. We don't do any clubs yet at weekends. Weekend mornings are usually spent in pjs relaxing, and the kids play, watch telly etc. Then we all get dressed and go out round lunchtime for the afternoon. We take it in turns to have a lie in!

If we have friends over or we go away, we make sure the next weekend is a quiet one. Only way to keep us all from getting too tired!

YANBU. I've just posted about the exact same thing and we don't even do activities!!

Maybe the fact that you take them from one activity to the next means they haven't developed the skills to play by themselves?
They actually have each other too, if they have toys at home then theres no reason for them to be bored at home for a day.
3yo DS is an only and can potter about the house playing by himself / chatting to us / occasionally involving us etc for hours with no problem. If his 5yo cousin is round you barely hear a peep from the playroom and practically have to drag them out for lunch.
Do you have plenty of interesting toys at home for them and enough space for them to play?
If so, try just leaving them to it for a while (with appropriate supervision for the toddler obviously).

Your weekends are as busy as you chose to make them. You don't have to go here there and everywhere doing a million things. I agree with pp idea of one day doing stuff and one day not. And start teaching your kids to entertain themselves at least for a little. Mine is 3 and knows there are times when mummy will play and times when she won't. It's good for them to not have constant interaction. They need to learn that being bored is ok and to amuse themselves x

Cut back on things.
It does however get easier, by their teens you won’t see them out of bed before noon.

DH has just gone for the top up supermarket shop. Small child asked to go with him. It's like a holiday for me - pass the cocktail and my book (or the washing basket to fold more washing ).

I thoroughly recommend getting friends with similar aged children, doing some mild day drinking and not caring too much if your house gets wrecked whilst they play

It’s amazing how things have changed over the years isn’t it. Thinking back 40 years or so to when I was a child, the adults still very much ruled the roost back then. There was no pressure on the parents to be that perfect parent because there was no social media, no mobile phones, no shops open on a Sunday. Kids parties involved mum dropping me off at a neighbours house and then going home. The host would look after the kids for a couple of hours while parents of dropped off kids made the most of it! I remember we may have had a game of something as a family. Other than that the kids were told to play with their toys, we not whisked anywhere exciting and pretty much did want the parents told them to do. A family day out for us was often a one hour drive to a village or place with maybe a river or stream running through it. A drink outside a pub whilst we played and mum and dad had a chat and a drink and then the drive home. No meals out, no McDonald’s, no pressure to excel.

Maybe try and strip it back a bit.

Keeping up with today’s 100mph life is not easy.

Children need to learn to play by themselves. It’s a life skill. They won’t get the chance if they’re constantly being stimulated and entertained. Being bored is healthy. Parties are great, where the fit in with your family life. They’re not compulsory, especially for 2 year olds, and it’s your decision how to manage the time you’re not at work.

If you’re not happy with how things are you can make a choice to change them.

I agree. Stop the endless activities. What would happen if you just threw them in the garden with a bowl of water and 20 glow sticks and shut the door for a bit?

Why do you do so many activities? My two have spent the morning watching CBeebies in their pyjamas. We are going out for a family lunch today then going to visit the Grandparents for the afternoon.

Tomorrow morning DP will build Lego with the oldest and watch the baby at the same time. We'll have Sunday lunch then watch a movie (they'll be movie snacks to keep the oldest quiet).

In the spring and summer we just go to the park or the beach for a picnic, plenty of fresh air and exercise for the kids and it doesn't cost much (just the picnic, petrol and an ice cream).

You can play with your kids at home, that's family time too.

Sounds very hectic! That is a hard age where they need lots of input. Is it regular clubs you go to or one off activities? If one off I would cut right down and cut a few family visits too. Think of some easy meals so you don't have lots of preparing/cleaning up. Have a pick and mix of lunch things and snacks laid out so they can help themselves. Juice cartons or a big bottle of water each out so you don't have to keep getting up and down for food/drinks. Keep things simple with toys - get one set out (train set for example). Kids often drift from one to the other if there is too much choice. Play with them for 10 minutes to get them started then let them play on their own for a bit. Build the time up gradually and if they try to get you to play just say 'Mummy is having a rest - play with your trains. Can you make the train go super fast?' etc Don't get anything else out til that has been packed away. Something like playdough is not too messy if they like crafty things and can be quite tactile and relaxing for you. Watch some TV with them so you can all sit down. If the youngest has a nap tell the 5 year old it is quiet time and see if he'll sit on his bed and look at books even for a short while so you all get some rest.