To be terrified of DHs new job opportunity?

[sunfloweryy]

I’m a name changer and I feel like such a cow as I type this.

My DH (30 years old) has been offered the chance to retrain in the job of his dreams. He beat thousands of people to get a place on this scheme and he’s so excited.

I’m really happy for him, and SO proud of him but I’m also terrified. He is great at his current job and promotion was in sight. There is a pay drop of around £200 a month but the job is closer to home so it’s offset by not having to pay a £150 a month bus ticket, so it’s not money as such. More just the uncertainty.

We were thinking of TTC soon and now I’m scared to in case it doesn’t go well.

Please could I have some positive stories of people who have gambled and changed career and it’s gone well?!

What are you terrified about specifically?

I don’t understand what the big deal is here: not much less money and more local.

Unless the hours are unsocial/long or something?

That it won’t go well I suppose, or he won’t be as good at it and won’t make the cut.

What’s the uncertainty?

If he’s good enough to get onto the scheme I’m sure he’ll be good enough to do the role.
If it doesn’t work out or he doesn’t like it, can’t he go back to his old industry?

What kind of field, can you give a rough idea? Is it the sort of thing where the training is itself really hard and life-consuming like medicine?

I changed careers, dropped a bit in pay for a few years but it was very worth it. But the training itself wasn’t really a gamble so it didn’t feel insecure, just disorienting for a while.

So basically it's £50 less a month but he would be closer to home? Isn't that an upgrade regarding ttc?

The only real risk is that he is not as good at it as he is in his previous job? Does he have a risk of quitting I'd he doesn't like something or something real that might effect your life? If it's just that he might not be as great the you should work on believing in him.

He has to give it a try.
Unless you are much older than him you should put your baby plans on hold for a few months

Is there a scheme in a way that there are 1000 approved to scheme and 100 gets eventually hired?

My husband took a 10k pay cut a few years ago and within a year was earning 10k more than his original salary and is now earning double the ceiling on his past career, plus enjoying it more. It can work. Hopefully it will, but if it doesn’t can’t he just return to similar employment as he is in now?

Have faith in him, he must have some faith in himself and his new employers and current employers too but the sounds of it! Good for him doing something he really wants x

Yes I suppose that’s it. That he won’t be as good. It is police related, and if he doesn’t get through the programme they won’t continue his employment so it feels like a gamble. 99% of me is so confident he can do it, and it’s his dream, but a small part of me is scared as it’s such a big change from his current work! And yes potentially long hours.

@Rezie no there’s no quota, everyone who passes will progress. He just hasn’t studied in over 10 years!

@glitterbiscuits I’m 26 so I think I still have time to TTC?

Are you generally quite anxious about things? I can’t really pinpoint the particular problem. He is good at his current job, suggesting he is capable and hardworking and he has been offered this new job against stiff competition. What would make you think it wouldn’t go well?

I’m about to take a £450pm pay cut to start a full time PhD so I totally get the fear but it sounds like your DH has done well to get onto the scheme. I’m sure they wouldn’t take him on if he couldn’t do it.

Have faith, it might be the best thing ever

@Didiusfalco I am unfortunately, yes. Just niggling doubts I want to squash!

My DH took a massive gamble last year and changed field completely, he did this because he was not enjoying his job or the culture of the people within the career. It was a £10K pay drop which is significant as we wanted to buy a house and TTC this year. However he really wanted to do it and I was happy to support him in this big change. And actually doing so before we had a mortgage or a baby to worry about was a good idea as he now loves his job and is working his way up slowly. We have since begun the house buying process and I’m pregnant although early days yet

£10K pay drop annually of course**

I think you need to take a step back and a breather. Problems have NOT happened so don't stress!! There will always be more job opportunities if it doesn't work out. In my 21 years of working I've had 9 jobs. Yes 9. And I now earn 6figures plus. this is less about your husband and more about you isn't it?

Relax and you will conceive. Happy mama, happy baby!!

OP, if he's good enough to get on the scheme, he'll be good enough to find something else, even in the unlikely scenario he doesn't make the cut.

My whole career has been a series of gambles. I have never left a job with another one to go to, I have taken career breaks and most recently joined a start up which was a huge risk. Three years in it's going great guns. You can't control everything in life and he sounds extremely smart and determined. You'll be fine.

He has to go for it, of course. Perhaps think that, even if it doesn’t work out, he managed to beat so many people to get the opportunity that he’s obviously employable and skilled, so he’d find something else.

Police work can often mean terrible employment conditions and culture, and can be terrible for marriages! Especially if you have DC and have no family support. So YANBU at all to have concerns if he’s joining the police.

Fwiw, my best friend conceived at 42 as a first time mum. Yes you have PLENTY of years!!

@Annafs that’s just what I wanted to hear, thank you! And congrats on your pregnancy!

Thank you all. I feel better already.