Just burnt my lips

[CornishPorsche]

FFS.

My Mum always told me not to lick my knife. My Dad and I have always done it though.

Today I was spreading butter on toast and making a cuppa, but the butter was like ice, so not going far.

I popped the butter knife into the gas flame on the cooker while the kettle boiled. Spread the butter easily with the hot knife, then licked the knife, which was fine until I closed my lips on the end by the handle.

Burning hot.

I am currently typing this while sitting with my lips into a very full cup of cold water, trying to treat it.

Maybe this will cure me of licking knives....

AIBU to ask for your stupid injuries so I am not alone?

I bit into a McDonald’s Apple pie and some of the filling went on my top lip and the skin started peeling away 😳

Anyone else done the opening of cupboard door, turning round then immediately turning back again and walking straight into the door you'd open seconds earlier?

Ouch hope it heals quickly OP. I once tried to close a folding umbrella by pushing it against my chest. It pinched my boob, hurt like hell and left a very colourful bruise.

@katkit crying at your porridge bath 🤣🤣🤣

I've just remembered when I had somehow grazed myself right along the knicker line and it was really red and sore. I soaked tissue in neat tea tree oil and applied it - omfg it hurt like hell and washing off off made no difference. I felt sick with pain!

I dropped a full (glass - back in the days when we had a milkman) bottle of milk on my bare foot, breaking my little toe. Hopping in agony I stood on a piece of broken glass, requiring sutures.

I just remembered another one...

I bought really cheap glasses to wear round the house as spares from some Chinese website. They didn't fit great so I was stupidly trying to readjust them while on my face, put a little too much pressure on and (don't ask me how) the leg snapped off and the jaggy plastic stabbed into my eye resulting in a badly scratched eyeball and an extremely scary looking red eye for a few weeks. My own stupid fault for buying cheap shoddy plastic tat.

I have done too many stupid things to remember just one. So I will leave you with the accident my Dad had when he was in his early 20s.
He worked in a factory where he was a craftsman with using wood. One day he was cutting a piece of wood with a circular saw. The safety guidelines say that you have to use a push-rod to safely push the wood up to the saw blade........ Only my DDad, being his usual clumsy self decided not to. So he pushed the wood towards the saw blade with his hand, when a colleague called out to him that he had a phone call. That moment of distraction cost him all 4 fingers on his right hand. He wrapped his hand in a towel and went to the next factory to ask for someone for some ice to put his fingers in but they didn't believe him. He was known as a joker, so this was not unusual. Until he showed them the fingers.
He had them sewn back on but they never recovered any real function with them apart from looking like a hand.

Sliced the end of a finger open in a nice semi circle years ago. Was opening a bottle of wine and the cork broke. I used a long knife sharpener to push the cork in. It went in all of a sudden, the steel shot into the bottle and the handle broke the bottle so my finger went straight down onto it. Cue blood everywhere and trip to Drs (back in the day when Gps did on call at weekends) had several stitches but was going on a weeks holiday the next day. Dr said it would be ok to get stitches out when i got back.

A week later and practice nurse was cursing the Dr for leaving them too long as the stitches were healed into the cut! Damm sore getting them pulled out again!
Still have the faint scar and it sometimes tingles weirdly if its cold.

I nearly ran myself over jumping out the car when a spider on the roof started heading towards me

Anyone else done the opening of cupboard door, turning round then immediately turning back again and walking straight into the door you'd open seconds earlier?

More times than i care to remember!😁

This thread proves my argument that is a dangerous sport...

Husband is in charge of ironing. One December a few years back, after merrily ironing his shirts (and liberally spray starched the collars) he wore one to work and started feeling all funny, light headed, sick etc etc. Turns out spray starch is in a remarkably similar can to 'Festive Scent' Glade, which evidently should not be ingested into the blood stream... he now pays more attention, and wears better fitting shirts.

Also managed to fracture my coccyx after a slip'n'slide down three steps with one foot on a carrier bag. Three steps. Hardly worth the bloody effort.

@katkit that had me crying 😂😂😂😂

Remembered another one.

Out with DH & DS I needed the loo. Had a wee and saw there was no toilet roll - only one cubicle so couldn't go to another one. Ah ha! I have a packet of tissues in my bag. So I took one out and wiped.

It was an Olbas Oil balm tissue. Oooooooohhhh!!!!

Three steps. Hardly worth the bloody effort.
I turned my ankle over on a railway sleeper (my garden steps) fell flat on my front and broke large bone in my foot. I mean 2 bloody inches to slide off!!!
Better still i turned same ankle off a paving slab and burst a bit of ankle bone!!! Thats about 1 inch!!! Ffs!

I came on here to find out which lips, as DM was telling me all about Gwynneth Paltrow's love of fanny steaming the other day and I feared the worst.