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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you ever decline friends calls ?

46 replies

Inliverpool1 · 23/01/2020 14:07

If you’re just not in the mood ?
I have one who phoned on the way to work, at lunch time and for a natter after work, sometimes when the kids are in bed too.
Generally I don’t mind but there are says I can’t face it.
Then I feel bad

OP posts:
Blacksackunderthetreesfreeze · 23/01/2020 14:08

Almost always because i hate people ringing me and have to work up to the idea.

bridgetreilly · 23/01/2020 14:10

Of course. If it's not convenient for me to talk, for whatever reason, I don't answer. I assume everyone does the same.

bridgetreilly · 23/01/2020 14:10

And I assume that if was something important, rather than just a chat, they'll leave a message.

lastqueenofscotland · 23/01/2020 14:11

Yeh all the time I hate talking on the phone for a natter. I’d rather exchange a few texts and arrange a face to face meeting

goodgodingovan · 23/01/2020 14:12

I don't decline them but I do ignore calls on a semi regular basis actually. If I'm at work I don't tend to take personal calls and if I'm with my son (pretty much the rest of the time except when he's sleeping) I wouldn't take a call if it was likely to be a long chat as I'm busy playing with him or out with him.

khaleesiofthegreatgrasssea · 23/01/2020 14:12

I don't press to decline but I just watch them ring sometimes. Oops missed it Grin

TheWickerWoman · 23/01/2020 14:12

Yeh if I’m not in the mood, then I’ll probably text later and say sorry I missed your call, how are you?

Xyzzzzz · 23/01/2020 14:13

Always, I prefer text

Original poster
Inliverpool1 · 23/01/2020 14:14

Glad it’s not just me. 3 times a day is a bit much isnt it ?

OP posts:
Levatrice · 23/01/2020 14:15

3 x a day! Absolutely not what a waste of time no wonder you don’t answer 😂

Tombliwho · 23/01/2020 14:15

I rarely answer my phone.

QueenDaisy · 23/01/2020 14:16

khaleesiofthegreatgrasssea
Snap Grin

BellatrixLestat · 23/01/2020 14:17

I don't need to cause my friends know I hate talking on the phone and are the exact same.

OhMsBeliever · 23/01/2020 14:17

None of my friends ever phone me. We all chat on messenger now. I am very pleased with this invention as I hate phone calls!

Lizzie030869 · 23/01/2020 14:18

What an odd question. Of course I ignore calls if I'm not in a position to answer the phone. Why would it be an issue when they can leave a message or send a text?

Lizzie030869 · 23/01/2020 14:19

And who ever calls a friend 3 times a day?? She sounds completely exhausting.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/01/2020 14:20

Yes! Particularly 1 high maintenance friend who loves to talk about herself and create mini dramas...after a day of work and an evening with a toddler sometimes Ive got to be selfish!

2020bluegirl · 23/01/2020 14:28

I also dislike phone calls as I find them intrusive and time consuming. I mean, it's OK if it's the dentist, or doctor or the garage ringing about an appointment or our car etc.... But when it's friends or family, I know I am probably going to be on the phone for an hour! Sad So I don't like to answer....

Although, they (and I,) rarely ring friends and family anymore ... I chat to my friends and DC and family on facebook messenger, and we tweet each other, and see each others pics on instagram and facebook... And we arrange meet-ups via messenger/texts.

When people RING, they chat for about an HOUR, and I struggle to get off the line. Anti-social or not, I just don't like having to speak on the phone. When it's facebook - you can just message back at your leisure, and do other stuff at the same time.

Pembsgirl · 23/01/2020 14:29

I've done this on very rare occasions, usually when I'm in the middle of doing something, but when you think about it, isn't it a bit sad that we're all so selfish and wrapped up in ourselves that we can't be bothered to speak to someone who actually wants to speak to us. As a rule, people phone for a reason, ie. they care and want to catch up, they're worried, they're in trouble, etc. I actually think it's quite a bad habit to get into, soon we'll be standing in the playground and rather than talking face to face, we'll be texting until we lose the ability to talk altogether!

Also when my Mum was getting old, I used to get really pissed off with her, as having taken time out of a then busy schedule to phone her, if she bothered to answer the phone, she often made it sound as if it was too much trouble to speak to me, as I was interrupting her watching Corrie, or whatever on telly! So be careful, or we could find that when we're alone and actually need a friend, they may have gone off to people who actually want to talk to them!!

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 23/01/2020 14:30

Yes. There are certain friends much as I love them, I don't have the energy for at all times.

Lizzie030869 · 23/01/2020 14:30

I tend not to answer the phone if it's my MIL. She's always called a lot and is exhausting. It's easier now my DDs like speaking on the phone, I can pass the phone to them so they can talk to Grandma.

I often felt that she was being intrusive; she would call multiple times until someone answered. She'd left a message so I found it very irritating. I mean, it would be between 8 and 9 pm. Parents of small children (as they were when this was happening) tend to be getting their DC to bed at that time of the evening.

It's much better now that we can communicate with her by email.

goodgodingovan · 23/01/2020 14:33

I mean, it would be between 8 and 9 pm. Parents of small children (as they were when this was happening) tend to be getting their DC to bed at that time of the evening.

Tbf that would be the perfect time to call me for a chat. DS is asleep by 7.30 and by 9pm I'm putting my pjs on to relax and wouldn't want a long phone call at that point.

Dollywilde · 23/01/2020 14:37

My friends and I are whatsappers - we never really ring for a chat. So if one of them rings me I know something is seriously up, or at least it's urgent (example, last three calls I had off friends was 'I'm engaged', 'dad's cancer is back' and 'sorry I think I'm going to miss the train I'd meet you on'). So I don't generally decline those calls.

Emmelina · 23/01/2020 14:43

Quite frequently, actually... I’m not one to talk on the phone anyway, would much prefer to text or whatever. I let it ring out, give it a few minutes then send a text “Sorry I missed you, everything okay?”and try and keep it to text unless it sounds catastrophic Blush that probably makes me a terrible friend, but I deal with people all day and it’s exhausting enough!

notanotherjigsawpiece · 23/01/2020 14:50

Yes, quite often! Though I will ring back when it’s convenient, or send a text.

I generally prefer texting, as I often won’t have a spare 30 min or so for a telephone chat. One of my friends will always respond to a text from me with a phone call 😩