To ask about your saddest break-ups?

[Lovingcup]

I was listening to Last Request by Paulo Nutini earlier and it got me thinking back to being 15 and breaking up with my first boyfriend. I was at the age where I was just starting to go to bars and clubs with my friends (you could get away with it in those days!) and thought I wanted the freedom they had to kiss a different guy each week. Problem was, I was still very much in love with my boyfriend and he was the one who ended up consoling me as I was so upset! We were both in tears, he was such a lovely guy and we were together for 3 years. I still think of him often and wonder how he’s getting on; I hope he’s happy.

So I was wondering what your saddest break-up ever was, where you still loved the person but just couldn’t be together for whatever reason? Did you have one last kiss or a night together before parting ways or was it just a quick goodbye? I feel like having a good cry so the sadder the better

This song would make me cry (and Wake Up Alone by Amy Winehouse) over my sons dad

My heart was not only broken but stamped on over and over again. I cried myself to sleep everynight from the day I found out I was pregnant for over a year.

It changed me. I don’t feel the pain anymore but I still feel a sadness that will never go.

When I was 17 I met a guy through the car scene - both massive enthusiasts. He knew my brother. He was 22, so a little older than me. He was besotted with me and I did love him, but he wanted much more commitment than I did as I were younger and still enjoying parties/drinking etc. We weren't together a huge amount of time, I loved him dearly but knew it wouldn't work as I were not ready to settle down. We were out and about in our cars at about 4am one morning and I just said it. Told him not to see me again and that we'd have no contact. We were both heartbroken. I eventually got with someone new d that lasted 4 years - I felt awful lol. He continued to find ways to contact me throughout - saying he wanted me back etc but I brushed him off. When I was 21 my 10 year old brother passed away and my then partner was the least supportive human I've ever met, yet this guy was there for me despite me treating him like utter shite. After about 6 months of him supporting me, driving 3 hours to see me whenever I felt low (I was living away at uni) I eventually realised that he was giving me everything my then partner was not. I left him and agreed to slowly give things ago with this guy. We're now married and had our first DD 9 weeks ago 🥰

I know this isn't about songs, but "Endlessly" by Muse always takes me back to my ex. "And I don't want to love somebody else", by Great Big World. I never loved anyone like him, but we just couldn't make it work. I still think of him as my great love, even though I am much happier with my husband, and he is an amazing father to our kids.

My school sweetheart, started going out at 14 and I was so incredibly in love. By 17 he had started feeling the pressure of being a “lad” wanting to play the field like his friends.

He met me one evening on a dimly lit street about 15 mins walk from my house. I had no idea he was going to break up with me.

He very quickly broke up with me then and there and then said “anyway I’ve got to go and meet my mates now” and left me crying my eyes out in the dark on a cold November evening I stayed there crying for about 30 minutes and then called mum to pick me up!

Looking back I should’ve just slapped him and walked off

This sounds incredibly cheesy, and maybe slightly off track. I was on my way to getting a train to break up with mypartner because they'd moved a couple of hours away for work and i couldn't see it working out. Then Katy Perry's 'The One That Got Away' came on the radio randomly. It made me wonder what I'd think in 20 years time if I didn't at least try to make things work. 4 years later we're engaged!

I find it heartbreaking when I hear that song to think I almost gave up on something amazing for the sake of a couple of 2 hour drives a week, and also for the people taht have given up on something amazing for small reasons, and regretted it their whole lives.

Sorry @EnthusiasmIsDisturbed that sounds really shit

@Andersonx3 what a lovely story, brought a tear to the eye! Congratulations on your new baby. And am so sorry about your brother

The Pogues always reminds me of my ex, because we met at Christmas time and we were drinking in the pub when it was on, the actual song also reminds me of our relationship. Love that turned very volatile quickly.

I find my break up really sad because he was my first 'love', it was all very passionate and intense, we were only young but he wanted a serious, spend every minute together type relationship quickly, asked me to move in after a couple of months, and then we had a baby. He really sucked me in, was very us against the world'.

In the end in the blink of an eye he went off with someone else, moved in with her and moved on very quickly. He literally went away for a weekend when our baby was a few weeks old, met another girl and she'd moved to be with him within a couple of months! I was left high and dry and heartbroken with a baby.

He never saw our child again.

I've Facebook snooped and he ended up marrying the other woman, then divorced, then ended up in another relationship with a different woman with kids, had another baby with her all within months!

Our ds is secondary school age and has never met his dad. I've been married 10 years myself and have a nice life, but I still find it all desperately sad when I think about it all.

@Areyoufree I’m not familiar with those songs but will be looking them up shortly! Glad you are happy. Do you know whether your ex is with someone else now?

@Laurjade89 you poor thing! Hopefully he experienced something similar at some point and now regrets treating you like that. Teenage love can be so brutal, all your feelings are just enhanced because of your hormones I think. Everything’s so intense!

@Lovingcup Oh yes, he's very happy too. We're still good friends, but I think we both have that slight feeling of "what could have been". At the same time, we are both much happier with our current partners. Getting over him was one of the hardest things I ever had to do though - even though I was the one who ended it. One of the reasons I never wanted us to try again was that I didn't want to have to get over him again.

This sounds stupid, but the saddest I've ever been after a breakup was when I was 10 and my playground boyfriend broke up with me.

Hardly anyone in the whole school had a boyfriend, so it made me feel really special and grown up - even though we never even did anything, and never spent time together outside of school! He just asked me one day "will you be my girlfriend" and we were together for 3 years .. didn't even hold hands! Yet I was gutted and begged him to take me back.

Oh to be 10 again.

I've only had a handful of relationships since. Two long term, including the one I'm in now. The other long term one was terribly abusive, so leaving in the end was a massive relief rather than sad. All of the short term ones we just grew apart and broke up naturally.

Maybe I'm weird!

@Everanewbie gosh thank goodness that song came on when it did! Loving all the musical references too - they’re giving me inspiration for my playlist

And yes, all the ‘close misses’ that must have happened to people, where they’ve broken up with someone and always known it was the wrong decision but couldn’t take it back. Very sad.

Leaving my spouse....I regret it now, pretty much everyday. I had a mental health crisis and everything seemed to come in on me. I left, had a breakdown and got into a relationship with someone who is nice and loves me very much....but they are not my spouse or the parent of our children. I feel like a failure. I feel like I failed my spouse. We went to couples counselling at the time but the counsellor felt I was too unwell to engage at that point and that I needed to recover. I can't hear our First Dance song, it's so painful for me. We remain good friends but I know I threw everything away.... I'm getting help now after a very long wait for NHS therapy. My life is filled with regret .....

Met him when I was 21. Loved him so hard but I was very damaged from childhood (so was he) so when he wanted to move quite quickly as in living together, meeting family etc I pulled back. He was gutted, took it as a huge rejection, dumped me, that was that.

I met him again at 25. This time he was guarding his heart, pulled away from me, didn’t want to stop seeing other people, maybe making me feel the same as I’d made him feel. Anyway he was awful to me for about 2 years knowing how deeply I loved him, and tbh it didn’t matter how much we loved each other, we could never really find a way to manifest it.

So then I met my DH and it was easy and lovely and perfect ❤️

I had a (very long, two months while travelling) holiday romance with an American man about fifteen years ago. But when we went home there was literally no way for us to be together. Virtually zero chance of one of us getting a work visa to emigrate to the other one’s home country. We’d have had to jump into marriage far too soon because there was no other way to get a visa. And even if there was a way, one of us would have had to emigrate halfway round the world and hardly ever see our family again. I never loved anyone else ever again. We both settled for someone who conveniently lived nearby, got married and had kids. We don’t keep in touch any more. I still think of him every time I hear a sad romantic song on the radio.

BF of 8 years when I was 30. I'd known for years that I wasn't in love with him but he was lovely, he was my best friend, we had a nice life and I never ever wanted to hurt him. In the end, he was the one who knew I didn't feel that way about him anymore and started the conversation. I cried for hours about hurting him. All I wanted to do was take him back and make everything ok again but I felt a little glimmer of hope that maybe I would have the life I wanted after all. I Just felt so awful for him.

Alls well that ends well 8 years later though. Within a few months he had met the woman who is now his wife and they have 2 children. I moved away for work so I've never seen him again but we have mutual friends so I hear bits and pieces - and I know that he wishes me the best as I do for him. I had a 2 year relationship and then when that ended I met my lovely DH and we have children too. I've never questioned my love for DH at all and I do kick myself for spending so much time with someone I wasn't in love with.

I think the very worst was my first boyfriend. We were together from 14-19 and he was my world. All I knew. It completely blindsided me. He was living in my mum and dads house with me (long story) but I went out one night straight from work to meet him and his family in town as it was his sisters birthday. We were walking from one club to another and he started having a go at me for not talking / dancing with his sisters. I’d been on my feet all day, I was sweaty and nasty from work, I had anxiety too looking back but didn’t realise at time. We were in the middle of Newcastle on a Saturday night and he just said it wasn’t working out. I was hysterical. I just had to stand in massive taxi queue trying not to bawl my eyes out with the group of them looking at me like a sideshow act (they were “putting me in a taxi”) I silently cried the entire way home. It was heart wrenching we had been talking about getting a flat together and getting engaged. I thought I was going to die from the pain. Obviously looking back I can see how the relationship was crap (living at my parents didn’t help). I saw him every now and again as we worked together which was hard (shifts so not always in at the same time), but eventually we got to a friendly place and I did care for him a great deal as a friend. After all he was such an important part of my life growing up. Although that was put to an end by his girlfriend (now wife) who I was actually friends with in school (he didn’t go to our school) which does make me giggle as we’re in our 30s now they’re married, I’m getting married this year, and she still gives stink eye (and my dad as my dad worked in the same place too) if I ever see her

Met a guy whilst living overseas. Had a couple of dates then he dies suddenly from a brain haemorrhage. Very upsetting. Still think of him 18 years later and think what if?

First serious boyfriend at 17-18 - he wanted freedom towards the end as we went to uni & tbh it was what I needed at that age too but couldn’t see it at the time. I adored him & put up with a protracted breakup where we still hooked up quite a lot but without any of the relationship bits I look back in despair at what a pushover I was at that age. However, teenage boys aren’t well known for their tact & in the years since, we’ve discussed it and both apologised for poor behaviour!

It was 2005, I was 15 😂 sounds so silly now. I'm almost 30!
We met on holiday, first boy I ever fancied / connected with / kissed. Felt so ill the entire duration of the romance because the butterfly feeling was relentless and so intense! I lived in London, he lived up north. Let me keep his hoodie (smelt gross like teenage boy) was my most treasured possession. Never saw him again. But had him on FB for few years. Still have occasional dreams of him, have never felt so overwhelmed by anyone since. Silly.

Saddest was my ex just the pain we all had to go through to admit it wasnt working. Nearly 5 yrs on and it kills me to the bone!

If you've dumped your lovely but not quite right for you boyfriend may I advise you not to meet up to 'talk', and listen to Sail Away With Me by David Gray.

Because you will get back together, move in, and have a kid :)

Went out with a lad from uni shortly after my 3 year relationship ended. We didn't work out as the spark was missing but I remember the last time I saw him was in a night club before uni broke up for the summer. He returned back to uni and after a night out got too drunk and fell in the river. I think about him sometimes and wonder what he would have been doing with his life he was only 20 at the time and would have 33.

Wow, some of these are incredibly sad. I’m so sorry to all of you who have been so hurt or are still hurting