Talk

Flip

1 2 ··· 35 36 37 38 39 40

AIBU?

DH charging me interest on a ‘loan’ he’s giving me?

999 replies

Twirlywirlywurly · 23/01/2020 09:21

On Tuesday my car finally gave up the ghost. It’s been nothing but trouble for the past 18 months now really, it’s cost me 2k in repairs in that time and Tuesday was the 3rd time in 7 months it’s broken down on me when I’m rushing between clients and meetings (I’m self employed)

Between the constant repairs and having just paid my tax return my savings have been depleted.

The AA man said it was pretty much a right off as it’s an expensive repair (clutch and something else) and the mileage is so high on it anyway that it won’t have that much left in it. I cannot be doing with the constant worry about breaking down and letting my client base down.

I said to DH yesterday ‘that’s it, I’m going to get one on a business lease or get a loan from the bank and get something newer and more reliable.’

DH has never had any type of debt (apart from mortgage) his whole life, he’s always ensured (well for his adult working life) that he has at least 18 months of salary in the bank for a rainy day. He turned around and said ‘I’d rather you didn’t. We’re married, it would be my debt too and I won’t have debt.’

I said well what am I supposed to do then as I’ve just depleted the last of my savings paying my tax return and I cannot be without a car (I’m having to hire one for the rest of the week)

I should add, we’ve been together 7 years and married for 2. DH is a ‘high earner’ and earns 3 x my salary and as stated, has HEFTY (think small house worth) savings in the bank at all times. He then turned around and said ‘I’ll have to do you a loan.’

He’s just emailed me a s/sheet with loan repayments on for the sum of money we agreed on last night. However, the amount was £150 over the agreed loan amount. I replied saying okay re the loan amount payments but that it was £150 more. He’s just replied saying ‘Yes, well over the 3 years I’ll have been earning interest on that money so I think it’s only fair.’

Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful to him for lending me the money, but I never ask him for anything. I’m very financially independent (normally) and certainly never ask him for money. I just feel uneasy with him charging his wife interest?

He’s also pushing for us to start trying for a family in the next few months and I’m thinking, well what will happen with the loan then? It’s a 3 year loan, I won’t be able to pay it once on Maternity leave!

AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

Am I being unreasonable?

2379 votes. Final results.

POLL

You are being unreasonable

You are NOT being unreasonable

98%

Pollaidh · 23/01/2020 19:51

Two further things to consider:

You need full disclosure of his money. Suggest he moves half of it into your savings/investment accounts. It might well work out better tax-wise anyway. If he refuses then you've got your answer. I was dubious about my DH for a while because he can be hilariously tight sometimes, but when he's used up all his tax-free allowances, he sends about the same to me to go in my accounts, we have joint investment accounts, AND he puts money into the investment account in my name (more tax efficient).

*When having a child, the financial hit to the mother is not just the maternity leave. There's possibility of illness during the pregnancy too. Then after ML (during which time you may have missed opportunities), you often return to work part-time, often because the DH earns more, so it 'makes sense'. Then when the DC is ill, it ends up being the mother taking the time off, because the family can least afford for the father to lose his job due to being off too much. You have to be very careful to guard against this, and make sure you both share the sickness cover. Then there's school holidays - there's parental leave which is unpaid, up to 4 weeks/year I think. Again who does it 'make sense' to take the leave? The full-time father, who has been promoted multiple times whilst wife has babies and facilitates the home life, and so earns multiple times, or the lower paid woman? The income and career prospects between the DH and DW become further and further apart. Then there's the fact that some pregnancies leave the mothers with permanent health problems. Both DSis and I had entirely different pregnancy complications which have meant neither of us could return to full-time high-pressure jobs.

DH and I were originally both high flyers, and we have gone, in the 10 years of child-bearing and early years, from DH earning about 25% more than me to DH earning 400% more than me.