Ex sister-in-law’s wedding invitation

[EWAB]

My brother and his now ex wife are the Godparents of my eldest son who is now at university.
My son has now been invited to her wedding with the man she left my brother for. My son is going.
ABU to feel really weird about it?

I understand she's also the mother of his cousins - is that right? If so, that makes it even less weird. In fact, its really nice of her.

Your brother sounds like a tool.

I think its odd. He hasn't seen her for years and isn't close to her at all.

What reasons has he given for wanting to go? Depending on his age - is it just the prospect of a party that he fancies going to?

If my godmother had kept in contact in the way of money/gifts throughout my life despite no longer being part of the family I wouldn't want to decline a wedding invite either. Think of it as a nice thing

I'd say your feelings are very logical.

You feel weird because

She hurt your brother deeply at the time.

You were very likely to feel anger towards her at the time and hurt.

You probably lost any relationship you had with her.

You feel weird that your son has only been invited when you were both connected to her.

That he has a different relationship to her than you.

You probably felt nothing towards her for many years and it's caused emotions to resurface.

Don't feel bad about feeling bad. I would as well

I can see how weird it is. My DB is divorced and his Ex is Godmother to one of the nieces in the family.

She sends money on birthdays, exam success and Christmas.

No cheating was involved, but I doubt any of us would have much to do with her if there was.

I think I would feel betrayed if I was your brother... but then I'm very close to my nieces and nephews....they wouldn't go out of loyalty to me.

Does your DS know she had an affair?

Me and my family, including my DM, went to my ex SIL wedding. None of us cares a joy what my DB thought about it. We still like her and we have remained close. Just because people divorce it doesn't mean the rest of the family have to choose a side.

I think it’s really good of her to include him. And good of him to go. They must have missed each other. I have an everlasting regret that my loveliest, sweetest and favourite Auntie was lost to me as a child when my paternal Uncle and her divorced.

I just thought that it also wouldn't sit right that his Godmother is lacking in morals and values.... I mean infidelity is hardly in line with Christian values is it.

You choose a Godparent to help you, the parents bring your child up in line with your faith. It should be someone with similar morals and ethics who helps guide them through life. She's hardly a shining example is she.