Would you be annoyed by phones in baby’s face

[Lavendersblue88]

Just wondering what other people think. We have relatives who we don’t see very often (maybe every couple of months). When they see DD they are very intense and intrusive of her personal space and aren’t satisfied just letting her play. They want to hold her, touch her, pick her up, follow her around etc. This is something we’ve raised with them and they have tried to back off a bit with that. She comes to people in her own time and normally when they feign disinterest.

The other thing they do is whenever she does something slightly ‘interesting’ they are all on their phones videoing or taking photos. So she’ll be crawling upstairs and there’s 3 of them scrambling after her trying to film. It was the same when she was newborn and I hated it, because I was maybe 4 days postnatal cuddling my baby and she’d open her eyes and they’d all swarm around with their phones.

Are we being PFB or would it annoy other people? Because we don’t see them that often I know we can just suck it up, but my husband is worried it will mean our DD doesn’t enjoy their company because she may eventually start feeling self-conscious.

God it must be so awful to have relatives who take a genuine interest in your kid Stop being so precious OP, and allow your relatives to enjoy your child. As she gets older she will let them know herself whether she welcomes their attention or not.

I think you are being a bit overprotective, having photos and videos taken isn’t going to traumatise your baby and if it gives your family a little joy then why not!

If it’s not that often I would just suck it up.

I’m not saying they shouldn’t enjoy her or find her crawling upstairs amazing (for example). My question is specifically about having the phones in her space? It certainly unnerved me postnatally having 2-3 phones in my face.

Sounds a bit OTT. They sound like loving relatives who want photos of the baby as she is developing

I would hate this- the phones in the face thing mainly! I hate when people don't just enjoy interacting with kids and feel the need to 'share' every single thing with social media!

I think it’s lovely when people want to take pictures of my baby, because I know they want keepsakes as they love her so much. I think worrying about phones being in her personal space is a bit OTT and not something I’ve ever bothered about. I wouldn’t stress over the little things like this or you’ll drive yourself mad!

Normal human behaviour. You will be thankful when shes grown up and your relatives have loads of cute photos to look back on. And its not a new phenomenon. Ever since cameras like kodak disposables cane out people have taken loads of photos. Yabu and do come across as precious sorry. Photos from phones are not going to harm her in any way.

I agree it's too much! Some people think they are entitled to make your baby play/cuddle or whatever else. They are a baby not a toy.
Also multiple phones is too much, I like people to live in the moment with her and also csnt one just share the video/photo they have taken?

but the baby won’t care?

No it doesn’t bother me.

Also it’s not ‘phones in her space’ is it? Someone filming her crawling up the stairs isn’t in any way comparable to having a phone thrust at you while you’re breastfeeding a tiny infant.

Think I need to clarify - I don’t think she will come to any harm from this. It is merely annoying for us. I would suck it up. I rarely see these relatives because I’m LC with them (not relevant to this), but after their last visit DH said he wants to bring up the phone use with them because he finds it too much and he is worried she will associate seeing them with phones frantically being thrust towards her. Not making happy memories

Nah sounds OTT and it would annoy me also. A bit like folk videoing entire concerts on their phone so (a) they block your view and (b) they watch the whole damned thing on a 4" screen.
Why?
Are they all REALLY going to trawl through all that footage and those images again? Enjoy the bloody moment...

Having said that, if its only once a month or so you have to put up with it, I wouldn't bother rocking the boat. The novelty will probably wear off after a while..

We have a couple of relatives who do just this. As soon as I bring my little one over, they shove a camera in his face, change his poses and shove a camera in his face again, then share it with their entire contact list. It pisses me off totally. I have told the said relatives that its fine if they want to take a pic or 2 of LO but please stop shoving the camera in his face and actually spend some time with him, it gets to the point when he ia clearly distressed and yet the picture taking is more important. I have put my foot down with anyone using his photos for social media/WhatsApp status pics - definite no no for me.
I understand fully that they want pictures of him growing up and I am fine with that but sometimes they do go tooooooo far with it

It isn’t someone filming her crawling upstairs. That would be fine. It’s 3 people. Two people behind her on the stairs and one person pushing the phone between the bannisters.

I’m very open to accepting we’re being PFB but think it needs to be clear what we’re talking about. Not someone calmly videoing a baby

I just wonder what happens to all the pictures that people constantly take.

One person taking photos or videos at a time at a reasonable distance fine but 3 is batshit. They can easily share them with one another later.

My LO has relations and close family friends who like taking photos and videos of her but they do it one at a time then share them. They also don't take them right in her face.

Can you gently introduce a no phones to hand policy when they visit, claiming that don't want DD to be picking up bad screen time habits as she gets older? You could say it's part of your new year's resolution or that, because they don't visit hugely often, you want quality time with them without phones?
I don't think you're being unreasonable.

It's not the interaction, it's the ridiculous trying to capture everything on their phones & probably the non stop 'sharing'. I'd have bloody hated being filmed with my newborn & put all over social media. Genuine love, interest & cuddles are lovely but you don't have to film every moment. And I feel a bit sorry for all their friends that have to watch the endless possibly boring videos too.

They sound really thick and not able to just enjoy a normal visit. No wonder you are LC.

Not sure what you can do about it except fight it head on and ask them to stop.

You wanna try being Meghan Sussex for a day

I get what you mean but she will be grown before you know it and on her own electrical device and not interested

If two are behind her then I doubt it will scar her for life given she can’t even see them.

It sounds like your letting your general dislike of them make this a much bigger thing than it should be

What age is the child?
Are they keeping her safe? Watching her crawling upstairs.
Why can’t you just tell them not to do it any more?

Annoying but not a massive deal.

This would annoy me too, it seems a bit OTT

Maybe a list of rules for visitors at the entrance of your house so people are aware what they can and cannot do. Sounds like you don’t like them and are looking for reasons to not see them anymore.