To not want to take a 9mo old on a spa wknd?

[Ladyks]

MiL suggested to DH that a spa wknd would be a lovely gift for FiL’s birthday, but she wants us & BiL + his fiancé to join, as well as my 9mo DS & all of our dogs (3 dogs, it’s a dog friendly hotel). I think when people go on spa wknds they want to relax & might be wanting a break from their DC so why should they have to be around mine? DH thinks we should bring DS & all will be fine, but I’m thinking maybe MiL hasn’t thought this gift suggestion all the way through as she wants us all to be together. Happy to gift a spa day for FiL & MiL but just don’t think it’s a very baby friendly wknd, AIBU?

Yanbu

Jesus I wouldn’t want you all on my spa weekend

Agree entirely. Why not just have a family night away in a big hotel with cottages onsite? The right hotel will have some kind of spa for the adults. Or just book massages from a local therapist.

It just sounds like a lovely family break to me, not sure what the problem is. I'm a regular at Spa Weekends and some have been more formal/adult while some are more relaxed and family friendly. Wouldn't bother me in the slightest to see a baby in a hotel pool.

Totally agree, this is not baby friendly at all! Please do not do this. You will upset all the other guests, especially those who’ve paid lots for a break from their own DC

Hmm it depends on the hotel. I've been to one in Cornwall which promotes itself as being very family friendly. I went just DH and I and there were lots of kids but all so well behaved or too young to be a bother. Does it look like it would be suitable for kids or is it very fancy?

If the place is dog friendly, it will be fine to take a baby.

I guess it depends. I'd never personally take my baby on a spa weekend because I'd only go on one to relax and it wouldn't be relaxing with DD there! But I wouldn't mind at all other people having their kids there

Thanks all, DH says it’s fancy (but it allows dogs so probably not TOO fancy). He thinks we can all get massages & just trade off watching DS. I just think there are better family & dog friendly options if we all want to be together

YANBU

Could it maybe be also your MiL socially engineering a Situation where she can be with Ds?

As long as it's a family friendly spa hotel, I don't see the issue. Plenty of adults to help look after your DD. I just don't see that it will be any worse/difficult than a weekend away anywhere else with a baby.

Well it wouldn't be my choice, but as it's been suggested by them I'd assume they're ok with it! I think maybe it's less of a 'spa weekend' and more of a 'family weekend away in a hotel which happens to have a spa' iyswim?

Spas tend to have age limits so you most likely wouldn’t be able to take the baby into the spa, usually its 16+. Check out the hotel your thinking of going to.

Might not be such a great family weekend if someone’s left out on sitting duty for your baby? Would that end up being you if it’s with dh family?

It depends. The Headland in Newquay for example is technically a spa hotel with treatments etc. but the pool has a couple of sessions a day where children are allowed to swim. The rest of the time there's the beach, town, aquarium and zoo for littles. So it dependa where it is for me.

Are dc even allowed?? Most spas don’t allow dc under 16.

I’d hate babies, kids and dogs to be at a spa if I was there...

The worst bit is you'll have to sit in a dark hotel room from early evening when your DC goes to bed. What fun.

Are children even allowed?

Look at Bedruthan steps.

Sounds like MIL is assuming that one parent will look after DS while everyone else enjoys the facilities.

That’s probably you, btw, so she can spend time with her children.

There may be a difference between 'destination spas' like Forest Mere or Ragdale and hotels with spas - the former are generally adults only, or 16+ , while the hotel ones, especially those that are dog friendly 🙄 could well allow kids too.
Each to their own.

Bovey Castle in Devon is a luxury hotel that allows dogs (think they even get their own Barbour coat!) and has a spa.

One issue maybe that dogs and children (don't know if that includes babies) might not be allowed in the main restaurants for dinner. They sometimes offer high tea for little ones

Depends on the hotel and set-up. Some have lodged attached.
What child facilities have they got?

Is she thinking that the ladies will use the spa facilities while the men folk look after LO. Or is she think you and DH will use the spa while she baby sits?

I know my MIL would def be in camp 2.

It doesn't sound like what I'd want for a "Spa" weekend. But then if I was looking for that I'd be looking for a destination Spa, like Forest Mere. If it is just a weekend in a Hotel with a Spa, then taking your baby would be no problem.

No destination Spa I know would take Dogs. A few might allow babies for special Post pregnancy retreats.

But if it's just a hotel, then there will be families and business people etc. in the main hotel, and the "Spa" will be a seperate area. Although children may even be allowed in the Spa complex to use the swimming pool.

@SmellyBeard
This! We always do cottages or air bnb with our DC as I would hate to be sat in a hotel room from 7pm.

Which hotel is it? I've been to a lot of the child friendly spa hotels.

Most of them specify only one small/medium dog in the room though. Unless it's somewhere like Gleneagles with kennels outside.