Would you move in with a grandparent?

[Oksunny]

My Nan is lonely. It’s me DP & our two young kids. She wants us to all put our money in & buy a house together (we’re currently renting but have a sizeable deposit from inheritance so have been looking to buy.)

My Nan is totally lovely & obviously lonely, she’s also said that the house would be left to us if anything happened to her. But she can be a little interfering & judgemental at times. I’m not sure If I could reign that in a bit if we agree to go ahead.

So would you live with a grandparent, or is it a recipe for disaster?

I couldn't do this OP. You've already said she's interferring and judgemental, she'll drive you batty getting into all your parenting and you'll never have a moment's peace.

And neither will she. Living with toddlers isn't fun at the best of times even when they're your own!

I would suggest you find a pair of semi-detached houses next to each other (if possible. The holy grail?) Or a house with a smaller house on the grounds so they're seperate houses entirely. That way your nana is close if she needs company, but you've all got your own spaces to retreat to.

If you go ahead with this, make the ownership a joint tenancy rather than tenants in common. This means that when your nan dies, you and DP automatically inherit her share. I believe it would also mean it wouldn't be taken into account if care home fees were needed (but pls check with a lawyer).

Thanks everyone, I actually met up with her today & after reading all your comments and talking with DP we’ve decided against it. She does love a moan & definitely likes giving ‘suggestions’ & I don’t think I could cope with that full time. We’ve decided against it. She also looked totally worn out after spending the day with the DC’s & I think she’s underestimated how hard living with them would be.

It’s a shame, because it was a nice idea in principle but the reality is I can imagine me having to defend mine & DPs decisions a lot and that just isn’t going to work.

She also told DD off a little today which irked me, so yeah... bad idea!

Thanks for all your input & helping me not see it through rose tinted glasses 🤓

I would. I did live with my Nan for 12 months after my Nan passed away as she'd never lived in her own.
She's 86 now and still lives on her own with one or the other of us going in or taking her shopping etc.
My dc are 9 and 13 and in her 70s didn't need as much rest as she does now, when we holiday together she has her own space so she can have a break.
I think you'd have to set out a plan including; private areas, rules for shutting the other out ( eggs closed door don't disturb us!) power of attorney for both financial and health, care plans for the future etc.
Only problem is you won't know if it will work until you try it.