Advice on inheritance disputes

[Ilovechinese]

Hi I'm just wondering if anyone on here has been to court to contest a will and if so how long did it take to get to court and what the process is. I'm going through this at the minute (well not got to court yet) but have a caveat in place to stop probate.

I feel for you OP. My friend is currently going through the same and I see how it's tearing her apart. She did everything for her mum, cleaning, cooking, caring, hospital appointments, dr's, everything, Then a few weeks before her mum died in swanned Golden Bollocks and suddenly the will is changed leaving everything to him and his wife. She also wants to pursue it and doesn't care if every penny of it is eaten up in legal fees. She just doesn't want her brother to get away with it.

@wheresmychocolate that is so similar to what I am going through! I was always visiting my mother and going shop for her and helping her wash then my brother said him and his partner were going to take her go his partners to look after her after she came out of hospital and now I know this was to keep her away from the family. (His partner loves quite far from me and I dont drive) so could only visit weekends whereas if she has been at home I would have been visiting every day and also they couldn't have got away with pressuring her to do a will if someone was always there. How far along in the case is your friend? Does she suspect undue influence from her brother?

What does your other sibling think?

Also did anyone ask your DM what sge wanted when she came out of hospital? Did you have any concerns whilst she was living with them or were you happy with the arrangements. How long did she stay with them?

From everything you have said here? Your chances of getting anything in court are extremely slim. You will end up thousands and thousands in the hole on legal bills and make yourself even more miserable in the process. They won't lose anything.

You are drinking poison and expecting them to die. You're only hurting yourself.

Don't do it. See a therapist, cut contact with the sibling, but let it go. Taking it to court will not help you in the slightest.

I’ve asked two questions that have yet to be answered

The trouble is, if you own your home now, fighting this could lose you and your children that home. If you rent, fighting this could prevent you ever owning a home (if that's important).

A family lawyer colleague always tells clients that for estates of under a million, the only winners are him and his opponent.

Your lawyer might accept payment in installments (though check you have the same idea of what this means - ordinarily, it would be a retainer of £5-10k depending on the case, followed by other similar chunks, with work grinding to a halt when payment has "run out") but if a judge awards costs against you, there won't be this level of leniency. This is why it matters if you are a home owner - as you won't be any longer in this scenario.

It's utterly shit and unfair what's happened, OP, and I can imagine that you are both angry and devastated by it. I really would caution you to try not to let your emotions cloud you, though: I know you think you would be happy if the house lost money before it could be sold, but that could come back to bite you. And from what you have said here, though you have serious suspicions, you don't actually have any evidence that you can use in court. I really would spend the money you were going to spend taking action on serious counselling, not only to deal with this, but also to counter the fact that actually, it's clear that this may have been your mother's intention, and that you didn't have the loving mother you deserved

@lailaha no I dont own my own home. What do you mean it could come back to bite me if the house lost value? How?

Op.
It’s tough but you really stand very very very little chance of success

You think it’s unfair. Unfortunately “unfair” is no grounds for dispute

For the people suggesting counselling or therapy I dont see how that will help me. It wont bring my parents back and it cant turn back time and make my mother be a better mum or live me more. So what is the point?

@changeembrace yes it is u fair but if you read all my posts you will see that is not just why I am disputing it. I believe my mother was coerced into this while out if her mind in very strong drugs

Unfair*

The point is that you are full of negative feelings and lasting issues from your family relationships. To the extent that you may be about to effectively self-harm massively via the courts. Talking therapy can't change the past, but it can hugely change the way you feel about it and make you happier and more stable. It will also be a fuckload cheaper than lawyers, who will only make you feel more bitter, miserable, and cheated.

It’s an old rule which is aimed at ensuring children are provided for.

And probably dating back to times when it was not uncommon for both parents to die before their children were adults themselves. Makes a lot of sense in those circumstances - use what money is there to see the children through to adulthood rather than it all being given to a distant aunt.

OP it's very clear from your posts that you are distraught about this and perceive it as very unfair, and I see where you're coming from. However, taking legal action will:

1. make you poorer
2. ruin what relationships you have left with your family
3. cause untold stress

4 . and probably not have the effect you want.

The advice upthread to spend the money on counselling instead is sound.

It wont bring my parents back and it cant turn back time and make my mother be a better mum or live me more. So what is the point?

Because it will help you come to terms with it, and move on.

Ì dont see how I can ever come to terms with it and my relationship with said sibling is already ruined. I've lost both parents and a brother. All I have is my younger sibling and NY children now

*my

@WheresMyChocolate @ilovechinese there seems to be a real understanding gap here in relation to the fees - the money from the estate may well be eaten up in their fees, but you are liable for your fees, not the estate - you will have to pay out as much as them and you won't have an estate to pay them from. You will not win I guarantee it.

* I believe my mother was coerced into this while out if her mind in very strong drugs*

I suspect your very high emotion, anger and animosity is driving this view.

You will pursue. You will waste money. You won’t win. You will feel even more embittered.

If you are serious bout this, look for a barrister that you can instruct directly. It will be much cheaper for you than going through a solicitor. Google direct access barristers and find one who specialises in inheritance/contract law.

I understand how hurt, a get and upset you must feel but I really think these feeling are totally clouding your judgement.

You admit yourself that your relationship with your mum wasn't great and you wrote that all you wanted was for your mum to love you, so clearly there were issues.

Maybe she didn't approve of your life, the choices you've made. Maybe she thought that you were trying on her passing away to better your life. Maybe she thought that you were not a good carer when you were looking after all.

How long ago was the mirror will drafted? Maybe your brother influenced your mum. Maybe he convinced her that she wasn't well looked after and that was the reason why she agreed to move with him.

Ultimately though, influencing doesn't have to mean manipulated or coerced. You would have to evidence actual emotional abuse leading to her feeling in fear if she didn't agree to change the will. How do you intend to prove this?

Your view on the fact it was your brother's solicitor who did the will show how cloudy your judgement is. He is a professional and wouldn't be manipulated in doing something illegal.just to please a client when there is no benefit to them. It makes no sense.

Don't forget that if you challenge the will your brother will have a say too and he could brings things up that will come with yet more upset and pain.

Ultimately it is rely sad how children become so reliant emotionally on their parent will, ie. Money that was never theirs in the first place. You really to move on. You can make your life a happy one without this money and what you see as a betrayal.

It doesn't matter what your brother told your mother's lawyer, it was for your mother to give the lawyer instructions not him. The lawyer should not have relied on your brothers word and presumably asked your mother themselves.

Obviously I intend to pay but will have to be in installments which my solocitor has said I can do.

Of course your sol has said this, they want your money. Unless you are very comfortably off you will literally be taking the food from your kids mouths to pay for a pointless vendetta.

@YesThatsATurdOnTheRug whose fees will come out of the estate? The executors?

The hurt and pain are palpable in your posts. I know nothing on the legal side but from what other posters have said what you lack is hard evidence that your mother was forced to change her will. Have you thousands of pounds to throw at this?

Counselling might help you come to terms with the loss of your mother in these difficult circumstances. That she might not have been the person you thought she was.

@sweeneytoddsrazor my younger sibling is also furious with what has happened