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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Advice on inheritance disputes

999 replies

Ilovechinese · 20/01/2020 14:02

Hi I'm just wondering if anyone on here has been to court to contest a will and if so how long did it take to get to court and what the process is. I'm going through this at the minute (well not got to court yet) but have a caveat in place to stop probate.

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Original poster
Ilovechinese · 21/01/2020 20:21

@bricktop999 thank you for your reply which atea of law do you specialise in? I have been honest with my solicitor with regards to my financial situation in that I am a single mother with not much money so I do feel that she would be honest with me of I dont have a good case as she knows I dint have much money. It does really hurt that she could do this and on one hand I feel anger towards her for it and on another I feel she was manipulated and pressured into it but I will never know the truth for sure but the circumstances surrounding her death do lead me more on the side that she was coerced into it. It's not just about the money it's about the hurt it has caused but I wont lie it is a little about the money, being as I am the only one of the children with children myself and not in a good financial position that money would have been a big help. That's what hurts as well its not just me that has been unfairly left out but it feels my children have also been left as if they didn't care about them.

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stiffstink · 21/01/2020 21:03

Alleging coercion and undue influence as you have mentioned would require you to positively prove that coercion (unlawful restraint/threats of violence or actual violence) and undue influence actually took place - has your solicitor asked if you have evidence of anything like that happening and explained the burden of proof to you?

And you link to the Ilott v Mitson case but it did not result in the 1/3rd windfall you seem to suggest; it went to the Court of Appeal twice and then to the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court awarded £50,000 from a £486,000 estate, so just over 10% of the Estate. That sum doesn't include payment of any of the lawyers' costs. Ilott v Mitson also has different facts to your scenario because in Illott v Mitson the opponents were charities, not relatives of the person who had died and that relationship (or lack of in Ilott) has an effect on the decision the court might reach. Has your solicitor explained the important difference in the facts of that case and yours and how it might mean a different outcome for you?

Original poster
Ilovechinese · 21/01/2020 21:33

@stiffsink well I have the medical records showing she was on numerous drugs and also suffered a fractured his which no one mentioned to me which suggest there was maybe violence or being rough with her and yes I was mistaken about the ilott case it wasnt a third.

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Original poster
Ilovechinese · 21/01/2020 21:33

Hip*

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stiffstink · 21/01/2020 21:37

I don't wish to come across as being harsh OP but I'm being direct because your solicitor is presumably being paid a lot of money to advise you on this.

Its all very well to say that your solicitor has said they will tell you if you should take it to court or not, or throw in an Inheritance Act claim, but you've entered an appearance and that usually means you are going to have to pay some of your opponent's costs - and not usually in installments.

2020newme · 21/01/2020 21:46

Plus I dont care if it's what she wanted

The thing is OP - that's the only thing that actually matters in a case like this.

You say you don't have much. Are you really prepared to lose everything you do have?

caketiger · 21/01/2020 21:48

Don't do this. I worked as part of a management team at a solicitors. The sheer about of work involved would equate to more billable hours than you can imagine. It isn't worth what little money you have.

I get that it's hard to feel betrayed, and that loss is uniquely challenging. This won't help you move on.....

TitianaTitsling · 21/01/2020 21:51

Was your relative in hospital when they passed away/around the time the will was changed? It likely of there was an issue with capacity it would be recorded in medical notes.

IndecentFeminist · 21/01/2020 22:07

You might not care what she wanted, but it is the main issue here tbh.

SirGawain · 21/01/2020 22:08

Google Jarndyce & Jarndyce
That was my first thought. Better still read, "Bleak House", in which the case appears.

IAmNotAWitch · 21/01/2020 22:16

Handing over a lot of money won't change what your mother did.

Good luck.

dottiedodah · 21/01/2020 22:19

I feel for you ,but sometimes its almost impossible to know what is going on in someones mind .I dont think they didnt care for you just maybe things are complicated .I would think hard about it ,what doe your younger sibling who has also been disinherited think? If you go down the legal route and dont win you could be on thin ice .Can you write to the sibling who is inheriting and see if you can appeal to their better nature maybe (long shot I know!)

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/01/2020 22:35

You didn't know your mother had a fractured hip?

Original poster
Ilovechinese · 21/01/2020 23:09

@titianatitsling no my parent was at my siblings partners house to be cared for which makes it even more suspicious. The said partner had only met my mother a couple if times in ten years she had been with my sibling. Then suddenly they want to care for my mother knowing she hasnt got kong left (which I now believe was partly to avoid care costs being taken out if the estate and also to get her to do the will)

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Original poster
Ilovechinese · 21/01/2020 23:10

@sweeneytoddsrazor no I didnt know she had a fractured hip as no one mentioned it to me so I only discovered it recently in the medical notes.

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Iflyaway · 21/01/2020 23:17

OP, you're a single mum, like me.

I know this must be awful and terribly hurtful to you but you need to look at the bigger picture with your children in it.

Please move on from this for your childrens' sake, you cannot afford to take money away from their (and your) future in order to prove a point.
I really feel for you. Life is a bitch and family can be cruel. But you and your children are the future. Don't fuck it up for them (by spending needless money if you won't win). They will be the ones to lose out day-to-day.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/01/2020 23:21

Can I ask how often you saw your DM or how much contact you had with her?

Original poster
Ilovechinese · 21/01/2020 23:33

I has lots of contact with her I want her a few times a day and use to go round at least 3 times a week with my children to see her but she wasn't that good as a mum or around my children if I'm honest which hurts as all I ever wanted was fir my mum to love me and her grandchildren like other mums do

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Original poster
Ilovechinese · 21/01/2020 23:33

*I rang her a few times a day

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Rachie1973 · 21/01/2020 23:39

I wouldn’t do it. I think you’re more likely to win the lottery than this case :(

cabbageking · 21/01/2020 23:40

Have you had contact with the solicitor who drew up the original will and the witnesses?

They should be able to give an indication of what the situation was at the time the will was signed and also when the will was originally drawn up,

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 21/01/2020 23:42

You can't get any financial win from this. The solicitor will have assessed that she had capacity, and will have spoken to her alone to check she wasn't being coerced. They will testify to this in court, the judge will accept it.

You will have your legal fees to pay and theirs - 10k? 20? Depends how long they had to spend gathering evidence. One day's work will rack up probably 1.5k, both sides working at the same time - it's a crippling amount.

You will end up deep in debt, your unscrupulous sibling will lose nothing as you will have to pay their costs.

It's awful, it's horrendous, it's so bloody unfair - but it's done. A bit like death itself, it is done and it is past changing. I'm really sorry this has happened to you.

EagleVisionSquirrelWork · 21/01/2020 23:43

If by fractured hip you mean neck of femur (NOF in the notes), that's extremely common in elderly women and often causes a cascade of medical problems that culminates in dying. It shouldn't be taken to imply violence or even roughness. That said, and not to cause further upset, but if you're genuinely concerned that she might have suffered abuse, it could be worth trying to find out if there were any relevant post mortem findings, if she had one. If you're really serious in your concerns, perhaps you should be talking to the police rather than a lawyer.

Otherwise, I would focus on whether there's anything in the notes about capacity to make decisions, which is a concrete concern you can legitimately raise, rather than undefined concerns about her care. Not to minimise, as I would feel all the same misgivings as you in these circumstances.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/01/2020 23:55

If you rang her a few times a day and saw her as often as that, then I am very surprised you wouldn't have known of a fracture or of mis treatment.

That aside and in the nicest possible way I think you should drop it. If you dont think she loved you and your DC in life like a proper Mum should why would that change in death? As hard as it is concentrate on your DC and not waste any time, energy, finances and emotions well being chasing what will ultimately be a losing battle. For your own sake let it go.

Original poster
Ilovechinese · 22/01/2020 00:03

@EagleVisionSquirrelWork yes I did actually call the police and they said as she is no longer here ot will be to hard to prove anything and she didnt have a postmortem and they also said it's a civil case not a police matter. Also before my mum died she lost the ability to talk and she was trying to say something to my aunty (her sister) and my brothers gf came in and said "I know I got a bit narky with you, it's over with, its fine now" which makes me think maybe she got violent to her

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