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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - is this weird?

41 replies

Changingforthisnow · 19/01/2020 19:24

So I previous posted about how my MIL hosts about 25 for christmas and because she is getting tired of it, there are now hints we should take over (tho we live about six hours away from everyone so they would all have to stay too as they would never stay in a hotel as that would cost money).

Anyway, my SIL who does live near us (but wouldn't have the space for the above - and would be too tight to do it anyway) is a key holder for the house alarm as she is close enough at the moment. It came up in conversation today to which she expressed surprise that that was the reason why we had given it to her (we do not have a key for her place) as she thought it was more for if we wanted something "doing" if we were away. When i said no it was for emergencies so was she happy to do it as we were happy that she had it in this case (tho we would reassess if they moved away which they may be doing). Anyway, she read the message and didn't reply which to me is a little rude and implies she is not happy but leaving it all a bit unfinished. AIBU or would you think that? Or do i need a head wobble?

OP posts:
Awrite · 19/01/2020 19:31

She's doing you a favour and you are pissed off that she's not replied to your explanation?

Either there's no need to reply or she's busy and will reply later.

The rest of it is irrelevant.

Changingforthisnow · 19/01/2020 19:34

I wrote about the previous stuff cod to me it shows history. And she wasn’t doing me a favour in her mind - she just had a key - but I take the point

OP posts:
SundaySalon · 19/01/2020 19:35

Have I missed something, what has Xmas dinner and your SIL not having the space got to do with her having a key?

Also yes you’re BU, she hasn’t replied, it’s Sunday evening she probably busy or watching TV. Do you need a decision today?

youcancallmequeenE · 19/01/2020 19:36

What?

Changingforthisnow · 19/01/2020 19:39

Sorry- it’s not really that she hasn’t replied. It’s more that she seemed to get stroppy when I explained it wasn’t just so she could come to the house to ‘do’ stuff

OP posts:
Lipz · 19/01/2020 19:39

What ? She doesn't want to have everyone for Christmas cos it'll be too tight ? Are you looking for her to attend your alarm during Christmas ? Bit confused.

latheritup · 19/01/2020 19:40

I am confused and intrigued

LolaDarkdestroyer · 19/01/2020 19:41

Who did what to who now? Wtaf is this waffle

Changingforthisnow · 19/01/2020 19:42

The relevance of the dinner was just why I am maybe a little sensitive. I need a head wobble. Fair enough

OP posts:
user1480880826 · 19/01/2020 19:44

None of this makes any sense.

Janaih · 19/01/2020 19:46

Placemarking, this looks like it's got legs...

Tombliwho · 19/01/2020 19:46

Xmas is utterly irrelevant. This is just odd.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 19/01/2020 19:46

What the F?? What on Earth has Christmas dinner got to do with being a key holder?!

Booboooo · 19/01/2020 19:47

What do you think she meant by "doing" stuff in your house?

Lipz · 19/01/2020 19:48

Just arrange Christmas at your own house yourself that way there's no worries about space or anyone else attending alarms.

FenellaMaxwell · 19/01/2020 19:49

Merry Christmas, Sharon Confused

Bluntness100 · 19/01/2020 19:50

Op this wins an award for the most confusing thread ever.

The fact your mother in law wishes you to host Xmas has little to no relevance to the fact your sister in law didn't know she had the key for emergencies and isn't sure she wishes to be the contact for that reason.

Confused
TheReluctantCountess · 19/01/2020 19:50

Doesn’t seeing to the alarm going off when you are away count as ‘doing stuff’?

StoorieHoose · 19/01/2020 19:50

Get the key back. You obviously don't like her so find someone else to be a key holder for "emergencies"

Namelessinseattle · 19/01/2020 19:51

So she's stroppy because she thought she had the key in case u needed the heat on, or accepting a delivery or drop in milk etc whilst you're away. But actually she's on your list of people the alarm company have to go to your house if the alarm goes off in the middle of the night?

thebluearsefly · 19/01/2020 19:51

YANBU - this post IS weird

Changingforthisnow · 19/01/2020 19:52

Ok let me try and explain again. My IL’s have a history of looking to take advantage regarding hospitality, over staying welcome, rummaging through cupboards. I am therefore sensitive to them and I accept I can over react regarding what may be normal but I might see as overstepping boundaries. With that in mind, when my SIL expressed surprise and confusion that actually she had a key for a purpose not so she could just come to the house to ‘do stuff’ if we were away I felt it was a little odd.

OP posts:
Fanniesyeraunt · 19/01/2020 19:53
  1. I’m not surprised your MIL wants to stop doing Christmas for 25 - it sounds exhausting.
  2. Just because your MIl doesn’t want to do it any more DOES NOT mean that you need to take over. You can say no. And should.
  3. If, in light of the conversation you’ve had with her, you now think your SIL is planning on letting herself into your house for reasons of her own and not for turning off an alarm etc. you are within your rights to ask for the key back.
  4. Your whole post seems to indicate you have a problem with your SIL and that’s what this is about. And that’s fine - it’s just all written in a bit of a rambling, roundabout way!
Princessfaffalot · 19/01/2020 19:54

Have you been finishing off the Xmas booze OP?

user3575796673 · 19/01/2020 19:54

So, because you don't like your MIL we're supposed to agree with your reasons for disliking your SIL? Confused