To find this inappropriate?

[AmbitiouslyFit]

I changed details as this is outing.

I have a friend (A) who I share secrets with. And a have a friend (B) that works in a department store. I’m not as close to B as I am to A. And A has never spoken to B but has seen her few times. They don’t know each other much at all.

Me and A and B are all of same ethnic origin which isn’t white. So we do things slightly differently.

I was speaking to friend A. And told her that friend B told me she knows one of her friends who is single and looking to find someone to be with. This happened as friend B and I were at a cultural thing which we frequently attend and so were talking about personal things. Friend A doesnt really take part. She told me some details about them and so on. I was interested but hesitant and told her I need time to think about it as was unsure.

Within 3 days, friend A who has never met friend B... goes to the department store where B works, and buys something from it. The store isn’t anything unique and in fact friend A works in a similar shop that sells the same things that she bought from B so she didn’t need to go there. And then proceeds to say hello to B and asks her if she knows someone looking for a relationship and insists on her, telling her that she knows me and so on. Except she was asking for herself not for me.

Friend B tells her about the one she told me about. But is finding this a bit strange as she doesn’t know friend A.. and texts me telling me that friend A passed by and outright asked her to help and so she did.

Friend B expecting that me and friend A speak about it as she knows we are close.

I didn’t tell friend B anything but friend A hasn’t mentioned this and I’m finding her behaviour a bit weird.

I’m just not sure why out of everyone she would go to that specific friend of mine who she hardly knows and go the distance to pretend to buy something just to get there first if you see what I mean..

Or am I overthinking this?

P.S. we really aren’t teenagers even if the behaviour sounds like it! I’m a bit baffled as this is way out of character for A... and I’m here to find out how to approach it!

DartmoorChef Do you recommend any nice places to visit in Dartmoor? Went to the national Park and found it a bit meh. But since it’s the only
Place for wild camping might give it another chance this summer. Any tips ?

A is not your friend. She’s just in it for the Nectar points.

coconuttelegraph

Just getting a bit frustrated for mum as I feel she is easily manipulated by said friend A. And it’s been a string of events, this is the latest and it’s getting on my nerves.

Yet mum finds her every excuse under the sun and thinks she is advising her out of compassion.

Mum is in a bit of a vulnerable position and friend A seems to take advantagenand I’m staying out of it except this involved my friend and it got too annoying

WIBU to embarrass said friend by asking her Infront of mum and other friends how her meeting with MY friend went and wink at her that my friend told me what kind of talk went on?

I feel mean to do this but also don’t want her to get away with thinkng she can do these things

So your mums friend went to your friend to try and get herself set up with a bloke your friend recommended for you?

I would let your mums friend know you knew about it. She sounds mad.

So your mums friend went to your friend to try and get herself set up with a bloke your friend recommended for you?

For my mum.

She definately sounds unhinged. I’m feeling creeped out and trying to figure out what’s the issue bothering me the most.

Delete fail
for you ,

Way too confusing

A doesn't sound like a friend but I wouldn't call her out in front of people.
Embarrassing someone in the wrong is more likely to put their defences up and encourage to behave in an even worse way to justify themselves.

If you want to say something I'd tell her privately that you know she went behind your mums back to get a date with the man was considering meeting, and that you find it very odd that she didn't speak to either you or your mum first. So not a question, just a statement, and see what she says. Hopefully she'll stay out of your way a bit knowing you are keeping an eye out for your mum.

Not confusing at all, your friend Beatrice tried to set up your mum with an eligible bachelor she knows, your mum wanted to think about it, in the meantime your mum's so called friend Annabelle has tried to tap up your Beatrice for a date with aforementioned bachelor herself. Honestly it reeks of desperation, your DM needs a better friend than Annabelle.

It's break time kids!

Lion and Sleep and Fazzle, thanks for reading through my confusing OP and clarifications. Your advice is taken on board.

I Just wanted to confirm before I say something that it’s not all in my head. Because it’s a bit bizarre behaviour and indeed child-like. So not sure how to stop it without stooping down or being dismissive.

I reckon I will just speak to her privately like suggested and let her know that I’m aware of her little coincident trip.

Absolutely no idea what you mean

Ok so the reason why this is getting my back up is because, this friend of my mum was confronted by me 2 years ago because she did something shitty and I told her that her condescending remarks to my mother is ruining her confidence (mother is DV victim and so her confidence sss on the floor) and her victim blaming crap was making mum regress. I told her to stop pressuring mum to find out personal information about me and my family because she was also very nosy and acting a bit intrusive.

Basically she is quite lonely and bored it seems. Has been advising mum to quit her job and making mum feel guilty about becoming independent and telling her how this is not attractive and finding out personal info about me and my life and using that to further make my mum feel like crap.

I advised my mum to make her own mind up and not share everything with said friend (who I firmly believe is just using mums neediness as an ego boost for herself).

Even since then said mums friend has been a bit stalkerish and it feels like bloody harassment. Forging relationships with everyone I know. Smearing my image. Becoming best friends with my mum and exaggerating misunderstandings me and mum have to use her against me.

This latest one was among a series of events where this lady is absolutely going out of her way to intimidate me and get into my personal space and my mums head.

Mums been defensive of her saying that she in fact has only bumped into my friend as a coincidence and that she had something important to deal with her.

Anyway, my friends story doesn’t match so I know it was deliberate. But mum thinks I’m the one who is bonkers.