To think these 10 behaviours from MIL is frustrating

[commuters30]

I don't quite know how to put it. Her heart is in a good place but seems so needy, childish and frustratingly interfering. AIBU to hate being home because of these?

1. Keeps saying how good her food is and not to worry we can have good food again next time she is back (suggesting we slum it when she's not around)

1. Kiss and cuddle and talk to cuddly toys we have bought for our unborn child.

1. When buying new clothes for unborn child, shes constantly making a fuss about why there are now better items in shops than the ones she bought.

1. Makes a point of saying she will miss so many moments in the baby's life and want a photo of how it's going, photo of how our plants are doing, photo of renovations...

1. requires the most basic of reminders like summer is not January or february, which means conversations are always interrupted and focus instead on explaining

1. giggles like a child and say a particular food is her favourite or that she wants something...

1. puts a massive bag of apples on top of the pram,precariously balancing them - instead of just putting it on the tavle

1. uses the radiator to put napkins on during dinner because it's closer, even after I said it's dirty and weird, why not the table it's huge

1. worries before each midwife appointment then afterwards asks how it was like we went to war. anyone who wasn't worried will certainly be after her asking

10. stores raw chicken next to milk and cheese even after explaining - then says sorry! won't do it again. and so many things keep happening the same way...

There comes a point where you either give up and accept these, or tell her each time but that's not nice or sustainable.

That does sound irritating.

How old is she?

My MIL gave my partner away when he was 6 weeks old to his grandparents. Had no contact with him from around the age of 12. After lots of false promises. Got back in touch when we lost our firstborn at 34 weeks. She spiked me with vodka when I said i didnt want alcohol. She told people things about us that were blatantly untrue, just to make on she knew us well. She told me that my chaps grandad (the man she left him with) was a sex offender. Shes let my children down time and time again. There is so much more I could say. We cut contact around 10 yrs ago. And never looked back.
I wish I had your MIL issues!

You sound bonkers with the chicken. I'm assuming it's in a packet.

Pretty much all of them @commuters30. they definitely build a picture of dementia as one example.

I get it’s annoyingly, most people would find it annoying and I get that you’re venting but really youre sounding really awful here. I think you and you’re husband need to figure out what’s really going on, at least so you can make her stays more comfortable.

I’m assuming the milk was in a carton? Unclench.

Sounds like onset dementia

No it doesn't

I think living with anyone (except my DH and DC) for 2-3 months would be enough to drive me up the wall! So even though these things aren't that bad I do sympathise with you OP. Could she cone more frequently but for shorter visits?

Why does she stay so long? She sounds over invested in your baby, I fear conflict is ahead when her views are not same as current advice. Agree she sounds erratic and unwell, how old is she?

Several of your points would raise concerns for me and would make me encourage her to see a GP.

I agree with others who have suggested the possibility of dementia. If that is the case, then she will only get more "irritating". I would start to show her compassion. Even if she is okay, she sounds like a nice person.

*Sounds like onset dementia

No it doesn't*

Why do you say that?

Sounds like you both have ways of doing things and her ones irritate you. They’re so minor though.

Assuming the chicken isn’t just plonked in the shelf with no wrapping or packaging, I think you need to unclench a bit.

And as for automatically associating January and February with summer, you need to be a bit less of a dick about that one. When I speak to family in the Southern Hemisphere it always takes me a moment to adjust when we refer to seasons and I would hope they didn’t think I was ruining our conversations together.

A couple of these sound petty. A couple sound extremely annoying. I can definitely understand why someone doing these things daily, who sporadically lives with yufor a couple of months, & who you're not related to, could drive you bananas. It probably would many people. It does sound like she may have some kind of cognitive issue though, has she been / is she getting checked out for that? If she does have a problem in that regard, I bet she's finding things hard too, hence the behaviour.

She doesn't sound bad at all. She's probably quite lovely in her own way, but the 2-3 months of her living with you needs to stop. We did this with my mother and the stays got longer and longer. I think you'd solve a lot of your problems if the stays weren't so long.

The issue is clearly that she lives with you for 2/3 months at a time! That would drive anyone bonkers! She doesn't sound that bad but anyone would grate for that length. Why is she here so long and could you limit it in some way e.g. for a month max (which is still too long for me, I find after 3 days I feel stressed).