To be embarrassed that I can't swim.

[oldmcdonaldhadabarn]

My dc are 3 and 1 and we're starting to get them swimming lessons etc and until now it's only been DH to take them...I feel like total dick that I can't do it and a pretty shit example to my dc. I could probably just about stay afloat but not actually swim.

DH is encouraging private lessons and thinks it's madness to be embarrassed, but I just feel so embarrassed and know he's saying that because he's my DH.

I'm not this bad at putting my big girl pants on with other things but cringing at the thought of an adult teaching me, another adult how to swim. My parents weren't that fussed about it and I had a couple of lessons as a child, that was about it really.

Any advice from people who've done it would be appreciated.

The adult beginner classes at our local pool tend to be in the evenings, at a quieter time. Nobody around to be embarrassed in front of, except other people in exactly the same boat.

If you need the motivation - what would you do if one of your kids got into difficulty in a pool or river and you couldn't help because you couldn't swim?

Do try OP. It's pointless being embarrassed, lots of adults can't swim and there are so many different reasons. I never really learned as a child and I had hideous nightmares from a very young age about falling into water and drowning.

I finally learned to swim at 27, encouraged by DH to enrol in council run classes for adults. There's nothing but encouragement and solidarity from the other learners and lessons aren't held during public sessions so nobody else watching (at least ours weren't, I suppose it might be different at other places).

I still get a bit overwhelmed at deep water sometimes, even though I could swim a length underwater at one point, but I feel much happier about having another form of exercise, a good activity that's fun and healthy, and my only regret is not learning as a child, as I missed out on so much potential fun times then. My son loves water parks and I wouldn't like to have to sit by the side and miss out.

Please give it a try. It's totally worth it.

I am sort of with @PuppyMonkey and @TigerOnATrain I disagree with your comments. Firstly, PuppyMonkey didn't seem proud or smug about being a non swimmer, just perfectly comfortable with it. Secondly, it is not at all the same thing as being unable to drive. Driving is a life skill so useful that it really limits you both professionally and socially if you can't do it. Swimming isn't.

I can't really swim. I have occasionally, by the end of a holiday with a pool, managed a few metres of frantic doggy paddle. But mostly I lounge about in an inflatable in the sun. I can't think of anything less appealing than going to the local leisure centre pool to do lengths. I know many people like it and that's fine, we are all different, but swimming just does not attract me one jot.

However I did ensure my DD had lessons and she is a pretty good swimmer now as an adult.

@5foot5 that’s not really true though, is it? If you don’t drive you can walk or get the bus. Not being able to swim could kill you.

Many leisure centres hold regular adult only swimming lessons. I often see them advertised where I live. No need to be embarrassed, just book yourself into some adult lessons. It could one day save your life, not to mention enabling you to have fun in the water with your kids for years to come. Swimming is great exercise too. Do it!

I was 46 when I signed myself up for adult swimming lessons

Prior to that it had been over 30yrs since I’d put my face in the water. My son was 9 and a better swimmer than me.

5 years on I’m a masters swimmer, 5-6k a week and did my first gala a few months ago

Do it! It’s the best thing ever! It’s challenging in many many ways, but the sense of achievement is amazing, the effect on your body, the new muscles, tone and definition are happy side effects :)

If you lived near me, I’d swim with you!

Really great that your booking yourself on. I could sort of swim but only on my back- I took some 121 private lessons at atround 35 and got so much better. Good luck!

I wasn’t a very good swimmer so did improver lessons when I hit 40. Did group lessons at the local leisure centre. There were total beginners in another group at the same time. I’m so glad I did it. Such a sense of achievement. Do it OP!

@FenellaMaxwell We will have to disagree on this one. Yes there are substitutes for driving but, unless you live in a city with good public transport, they are not always practical. An inability to drive would limit my life a lot.

An inability to swim could kill me? Well in very, very unlikely circumstances yes. But even swimmers can drown. In fact I imagine a swimmer might be more likely to put themselves in a situation where they could get in to difficulties. I know my limitations

I can swim, took lessons as an adult in my 20s. But I’m not confident and am scared to go out of my depth.

OP there is no need to be embarrassed lots of people learn as adults.

There is nothing like the feeling of feeling weightless and light in a pool of water.
So proud of you for doing this.
Imagine when you book your next holiday because it has pools you want to swim in.

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about but you must learn to swim. It’s a life skill and you know it’s important that’s why your children are learning it. What if you need to rescue someone from water one day?
Just do it, you’ll actually enjoy it.
Everyone should be able to swim to a level where they can rescue themselves and other people. Just like everyone should know how to cycle and drive a car.
You might get so good at it that you could end up doing a triathlon one day!

If you dont learn how can you keep your children safe when they swim? Being taller than them usually helps. If they swim well enough to go out of their depth, they're probably safe enough without you, in a pool anyway."wild" swimming is a different matter.

When I learned to swim I was in my mid teens, in a class full of six and seven year olds; I spent most of my early childhood too ill to be able to swim. It was a bit embarrassing, but I'm glad I did it. It's a pretty important life skill.

@5foot5

Yeah you're wrong. @PuppyMonkey DID seem smug and pleased with herself that she cannot swim and never intends to learn...

But it's OK, coz at least she has YOU to defend her and speak up for her eh? And if you ever get together in real life, you can throw a rubber ring in the water if she ever falls in.....

Anyone who thinks they don't ever need to learn to swim, is foolhardy at best, putting themselves in danger at worst.

Op if you really cannot get over your embarrassment think about this..

One of your children falls into deep water and you are unable to help them....because you were too embarrassed.
Swimming is a life skill and everyone who is able should learn.

You know what PuppyMonkey, I don’t play golf, it’s beyond boring to me, ditto tennis...

But... I would never be so crushingly rude and idiotic to come onto a thread about these activities and crow about not doing it/wanting to do it and to sneer at those who do. I’d just scroll on by.

The clue was in the thread title, op is not feeling good about not having this particular life skill and you think your infantile so there was constructive?

Give your head a wobble. Preferably underwater

Please please please don't be embarrassed. I took private lessons at 43 and not at almost 46 while I am not the best swimmer in the world I spend a lot of my free time in the pool. Best thing I ever did for me never mind my mermaid 6 yr old who thinks being in the pool is better then Disney World.
Trust me - with the right teacher you wont be embarrassed.

And further more I have absolutely no intention of ever learning, so there - manky public swimming pools, yuck yuck yuck.

DP has always taken the kids.

You sound horrible and smug. So you are too good for public pools, fair enough, but nothing wrong for your own family - husband and kids - to use them?

Are you the kind of people who would fly 1st class and leave them in cattle class because you are better than your own husband and kids?

Our leisure centre offered swimming lessons for adults. Are there anyhting like that near you? Then it would be adults only in a group and all of you would be in the same situation .

My mum learned at 50! With kids I would learn, if only for safety reasons. Our kids aren’t allowed in the pool on hols if it’s only nana watching as she can’t swim and at. Eat would just tell at us to come to help.
You have plenty of time to learn how to swim before the kids are up to speed.

Nana is the other grandparent obvs not my mum!

I didn’t crack it until I was 25, after a childhood of “you’ve got to learn, swimming is a life skill, how will you feel if you’re grown up and can’t do it, blah blah blah...”. As a child I could do all the moves, but I couldn’t float no matter what I did, so I avoided water. After I’d gone on holiday somewhere hot, aged 25, I thought it was silly that I couldn’t do it, so I went to a swimming pool and just splashed about... and suddenly I could do it! I suppose swimming pools are less daunting when you’re older and taller.

I had a few one to one lessons to improve my strokes, which really helped. (I also went all out and tried scuba diving, but found that was much more difficult when I’d only just got the hang of swimming.)

In our area there are one to one lessons on offer .You should not be embarrassed however! I also never learnt to swim properly despite my DF saving someones life when in the war .DM was not keen on water ! I think it is such good exercise as well .Both my children can swim well and as we live on the South Coast thats a good thing.

I had adult swimming lessons. I could swim a bit but not properly. There is no need to be embarrassed at all. See what your local swimming pool offers most offer adult lessons.