To be embarrassed that I can't swim.

[oldmcdonaldhadabarn]

My dc are 3 and 1 and we're starting to get them swimming lessons etc and until now it's only been DH to take them...I feel like total dick that I can't do it and a pretty shit example to my dc. I could probably just about stay afloat but not actually swim.

DH is encouraging private lessons and thinks it's madness to be embarrassed, but I just feel so embarrassed and know he's saying that because he's my DH.

I'm not this bad at putting my big girl pants on with other things but cringing at the thought of an adult teaching me, another adult how to swim. My parents weren't that fussed about it and I had a couple of lessons as a child, that was about it really.

Any advice from people who've done it would be appreciated.

Loads of people learn as adults. A few years ago I went to an open water swimming training event and was chatting to a lady in her 50's - turned out she couldn't swim until she was 50 and did lessons and at that point was signed up for a relay channel swim.

I had to relearn how to swim after acquiring a disability and had private lessons from a wonderful teacher. But the biggest thing was my 6 year old being so proud of me every time we went swimming.

Don't be embarrassed. You can learn at any age and enjoy it.

One of my best memories is of assisting in a snorkel/scuba taster session where the lady I was paired with had just learned to swim - she was about 50 and perfectly competent in the water, but it had taken her 2 years to get there and she wasn't confident.

By the end of 3 hours I was sitting on the bottom of the pool with her in full scuba gear and she was in full control of her buoyancy. She was also a natural at snorkeling.

Learning to swim opens up new worlds.

I used to be a competitive swimmer and as a family we sailed a lot - off shore. I was 20 before I managed to convince my mother to go to swimming lessons! You will not be the first nor the last late learner!

Please do not be embarrassed about not being able to swim. If you must be embarrassed that you are not learning. Take private lessons if you must - you will be swimming with a basic stroke within an hour with a good teacher.

I teach adults to swim, most are exactly the same as you when they start but are amazed at how quickly they pick it up.
Adults tend to get it much quicker as you can explain what they need to do and they put it into practice and see results straight away.

My nan only started to learn when I was born. She was 54! As PP have said its a valuable life skill

You are never too old to learn a life skill, and no matter the skill or hobby, you can be sure that there will be someone older, more frightened, taking longer. Absolutely sign up for adult swim lessons, do it via an adult class, with a qualified teacher, in a nice warm, lifeguarded pool. A course of intensive lessons is best, if you can afford and find them. I arranged such for an 85 year old. Within weeks she was swimming confidently, by six months she had done her Mile Swim certificate. She came back to us after that for snorkelling lessons, so that she could enjoy a holiday in the Caribbean! Utter respect, this lady was a legend at our Leisure Centres.👏

@oldmcdonaldhadabarn I must admit that I would be a bit embarrassed if I couldn't swim, and I know a few people who can't swim and are embarrassed about it, because it does restrict what they can do on holiday, when they're with their kids, when they're at a place with lots of water-based activities... etc etc. Swimming is SO much fun, and SO good for you. (Good exercise that is.)

But no need to be ashamed. Lots of people can't swim... It is a VERY good life skill though, so do try and learn

Try looking into www.thisgirlcan.co.uk/ where they encourage participation in sport, and give lessons, and arrange help if you have little confidence.

See if your local sports centre does it.

And ignore anyone who says 'if it's for girls, that means it's for children......' This is for WOMEN, and the term 'girl' is just to keep it light and friendly and approachable.

I go swimming 2 or 3 times a week, and used to LOVE going with DH and our kids. So much fun to be had in family swim sessions.

Good luck.

Thanks all for your replies.

I think I've made the issue much bigger in my head than it really is. My friends had pools and as a teen I was the only one sat on the edge which obviously involved a lot of piss taking.

Great to know many people older than me have learnt and been successful. I'm 30 this year and was worried about being the oldest with a load of kids or something!

Right, big girl pants are firmly on and I'm ringing the pool tomorrow to book, just seen they do private lessons.

Thank you mn for a kind kick up the arse. Might learn without telling anyone and surprise DH when I (hopefully) get good at it. Just imagining myself getting in and perfecting the butterfly

We were discussing swimming at work yesterday funnily enough and half my office couldn't swim, I don't think it's at all unusual so nothing to be embarrassed about. Go and learn, it's a fun thing to do and live saving skill

I'm 40, I can't swim. I took a few lessons about 4 or so years ago, but I absolutely hated it, I think I had the wrong teacher. I did go in the pool when my lb did water baby lessons when we was 8 months, but I was so anxious. It is something I'm quite embarrassed about. My Mum learned at 60. My sister can't swim, but my brother can.

I learnt when I was in my late 20s. Nothing to be embarrassed about, I just never had enough confidence or money to learn till then.
Once my DD became really confident in water I realised my little splishy-splashy in the pool wasn’t going to cut it, so I joined a swimming group for adults.
Go for it!

I learnt to swim last year ... at the age of 32. Was my NY Resolution.

I was taking my 2 yo to her lessons, so thought I should learn.

It was embarrassment but fear for me. The first class was tough but the teachers were great, really understanding. It was chilled, just a lot of learning at your own pace and the teachers gave as little or as much input as I liked.

The class was a real mix of people and really supportive.

I'm so pleased I did it. Felt so good to conquer something that scared me.

Please look in to it!

Aunt was in her 40s when she first learnt how to swim

Honestly its worth it, I went to adult classes aged 35-ish and had a few private lessons as well. The people that take the classes are really good, they understand people go along as adults for a variety of reasons. Some of us were total non-swimmers, some not-too-good swimmers. I remember a week when most of us were non-swimmers and someone turned up who wanted to swim properly as they only used their arms to swim. Teacher gave him a float and sent him off to see how far he got with his legs... Result was an immobile person in the middle of the pool, kicking like mad and creating a water-feature/fountain for all the non-swimmers to find their way around!! But we all encouraged each other, whatever our abilities.
I'm still not a great swimmer but can enjoy being in the water now, even if it is just a kick about.

Well done op.....i can keep myself afloat but am not a swimmer.....my dc is currently having one to one lessons and he is doing so well. There isnt much surplus cash at the minute but as soon as there is im going to book in and learn to swim....im 34.

I’m 53 and can’t swim. And further more I have absolutely no intention of ever learning, so there - manky public swimming pools, yuck yuck yuck.

DP has always taken the kids. They’re at an age where they’re getting bored of swimming though tbf.

Knock yourself out if you like swimming by all means but, just trying to point out, it’s not the end of the world if you are not in a pool swimming with your kids at every possible opportunity.

I learned to swim at 28. My fiancé taught me. I can now swim pretty well and get compliments from swimming teachers and random people on the gym... it hasn't been easy and I felt absolutely awful for a while, like I'd never be able to do it, but I'm so glad I did.

That said; if you don't want to do it, don't. It's taken a lot of motivation and persistence.

After failing to learn in years of school swimming lessons where an instructor blurted out noise and flailed their limbs around at the side, I swallowed my pride and went to adult lessons to earn my 25m badge for my DoE award. I was 16 and about 50 years younger than anyone else there which was odd for my teenage pride.
5 months later I had my 25m badge.
Less than a year later, I had my mile badge.

It was well worth knowing. DS1 is just getting used to lengths and I wouldn't want him down the deep end on his own in a public session. I feel such joy and pride in both of us doing lengths together.

It's just as well that I learned as DH has never had swimming lessons and can barely swim, so two non-swimming parents would have been really crap for the point that DS is at now!

@PuppyMonkey

I’m 53 and can’t swim. And further more I have absolutely no intention of ever learning, so there! Manky public swimming pools, yuck yuck yuck.

It's OK to not feel ashamed if you can't swim, but being proud of it, and smug about it, and expecting your partner to always take the kids swimming, and saying 'I have no intention to learn so THERE!' is selfish, and immature.

Bet you can't drive either, and could never be arsed to learn, but expect other people to ferry you around. (Free of charge probably.)

Do it. My mum can’t swim and while I didn’t think a lot about it as a child I remember her pushing my dad to ensure he took us swimming and she also ensured we got the relevant levels.

I think if there would have been the opportunity for adult lessons she would have jumped on it, opinions igonored.

Glad you're going to learn it's a good life skill to have.

It is beyond barshit to be embarrassed and do nothing about it. Enjoy the lessons. You'll soon be a swimmer.

I'm late 40s. I took a whole day intensive course 18 months ago for front crawl with Art of Swimming.

Prior to that I could do back stroke only. I would say I was the weakest swimmer in the group.
But the course really boosted my confidence to do front crawl. It took away my fear that I would sink! I now go swimming at least once a week and it actually got me out of rut and pushed me to do other stuff e.g. more exercise, learn the violin, get more involved with local community activities etc.

So if there's an intensive course around - it can really help speed things up and get over that initial hurdle of 'not being able to swim' and having to wait a whole week until your next lesson.

I learned as an adult in group classes and it’s the best thing I ever did. I went from doggy paddling to front crawl and the difference is incredible, it’s so rewarding. Go for it!

I only learned to swim around 5 years ago - after not being able to take part in the family fun.
I joined a group class which was really good fun.
I now swim 1km, 3 times a week and love swimming.

Do find yourself a class. You'll be in a class learning with other people who cant swim so it wont be embarrassing.

Do it, have fun!

Do it. You really won't regret it and it's really really not hard.