To wonder if everyone else is having loads of great sex?

[thesparrowflieshigh]

After reading posts in the sex category, I have become a little worried that my sex life is a bit lacking. DH and I have regular sex, but in a fairly straightforward and predictable way. He seems happy enough, but I'm worrying we're a bit boring.

You can't compare - if you're happy, then that's great!

And remember not everything you read is true.

People who post in the 'sex' category have a good reason for posting in there rather than 'relationships'. Don't try and compare yourself to them.

As long as you're both happy with it who gives a shit what anyone else is up to??

Probably once a month, if that! We are both too tired.

I’m not getting enough. I’m married but we work different hours and DH is sleeping beside DS1 at night as he has come off his epilepsy meds and someone has to keep an eye on him. I think sex is the glue in a marriage and I do feel the effects of the lack of it. Not sure what we can do about it though...😞

Sex has always been painful for me for no apparent reason so no, we don't do it regularly or to any fantastic degree, unfortunately

@Mistlewoeandwhine do you have anyone who could babysit for you occasionally? You need to make sure you still have time for the two of you.

Or tell him you need to meet at home at lunchtime for a very important conversation 3 times a week

Assuming DS is at school of course

There isn’t one definition of “great sex”.

If you’re happy with your sex life that’s all you need.

OP welcome to the club! I'm baffled by all these people doing all sorts of wild & wacky stuff. DH and I are happily just having regular/boring sex...

I think it's self selecting - the kind of people into this stuff are more likely to post about it so you dont get a representative selection.

I do also think you get a bit of embellishment at times, or people recounting that (rare) time they had a bit of a marathon session, rather than the more frequent quick missionary on a school night.

Oh and don't be fooled into thinking everybody out there likes BJs and anal. Plenty of us happily living without those.

@GiveHerHellFromUs Sadly one child is at home and we only can use a babysitter about 3 evenings a year. It’s just how it is right now.

Ha! I haven’t had any in 3 years

@Mistlewoeandwhine bless you. I hope things get better soon in every sense x

People who post in the Sex section often get their threads moved there because a certain asbestos knicker brigade complain if sex is mentioned elsewhere. For some reason, sex is not considered by some to be significant for the modern woman.

Straightforward and predictable can either be a code word for boring or can become boring. Communicate! And make sex something that happens when you have private leasure time. Not just something you do when you go to bed at night.

Quality sex requires passion. Finally, remember we are each responsible for our own orgasm!

Ha! Reasonably regular, satisfactory sex here!! I like to think of it as good quality vanilla. We have a good marriage and the fact that sex isn't terribly exciting doesn't bother us in the slightest.

We're not having ANY, never mind good sex

I didn't even now that there was a sex category. That should liven up my tea break!

Everyone has loads of great sex before marriage and kids, then you have the new normal. Sometimes it's still loads of great sex, mostly it's not. Then the kids get bigger and it's better again.

We have regular sex but it’s 99% of the time just missionary or me on top with hardly any foreplay other than kissing. We’re both happy with it like that though as we were way more experimental with other people when we were younger and got it all out our system. We can’t be arsed with all of that now and prefer to just have slower loving sex instead of anything wild. Each to their own though and I’m sure there are plenty of people who prefer it differently to us.

I couldn’t imagine life without sex or without regular oral.

Once a month, I'm going through the menapause, so periods all over the place. Both in our late 50s

Are you enjoying it? Do you come - if not every single time, almost all the time? (Even if it's not through PIV). Those things are more relevant for me than what 'everyone else' is doing.

Nearly 60 and 3/4 times per week. I’d have it more but, DH is constantly knackered

DH and I had sex once or twice a week for the first few months after our baby was born and DH thought he was hard done by at the time because we usually have sex 5-6 times a week. Anyway, his best friend and wife had a baby last year and his friend told DH they hadn’t had sex for five months a few weeks ago. DH doesn’t feel so hard done by now .

There’s no such thing as ‘great sex’ really, if you’re happy then whatever.