To wonder if everyone else is having loads of great sex?

[thesparrowflieshigh]

After reading posts in the sex category, I have become a little worried that my sex life is a bit lacking. DH and I have regular sex, but in a fairly straightforward and predictable way. He seems happy enough, but I'm worrying we're a bit boring.

Dire situation here.

I'm pregnant and I completely go off it, feel so guilty as hubby doesn't unfortunately

If you have mutual desire and chemistry, sex is always going to be amazing, ime.

This.

I'd much rather have good quality vanilla than a huge range of mediocre flavours. DH and did all the experimental stuff when we first got together and now nearly 20 years down the line we do none of that because we've learned what we each like and what the other likes. There is none of that "ouch, your arm is on my hair"/"Leg cramp! Leg cramp!"/"Is it supposed to fasten up like that? Please have a look at the instructions!" awkwardness.

Isn't great sex basically if you and him enjoy it...then its 'great sex'? Some people are more vanilla and some are more like jalapenos but as long as all parties are happy then thats all that matters.

Passion and communication are what I find make for the best sex.

Spontaneity is hard to have when you’re married with kids, but little surprises and acts can reignite the spark, if it starts to dwindle.

We have high quality vanilla sex, think amazing Cornish ice cream, and we’re not into things that are too adventurous, but it’s absolutely fine with us!

I’m missing out on great sex because I’ve been sick with a chest infection since Christmas!

We have amazing sex...about once every 2/3 months. The rest of the time it's rushed, pretty formulaic and just whatever needs to happen to make both of us 'finish' without expending too much energy/DD hearing/staying up too late to get a good night's sleep.

This morning I gave DH a silent handjob at 5.45am. No one will be writing any erotica based on our sex life any time soon....

I’m having very little, very boring sex. The two are related.

The only ‘sex’ I have is with myself. It’s great but may not be what you were thinking of OP.

A great sex life isn't one that would make a great porno, it's one where the type and amount of sex is agreeable to both partners. A relationship with kinky sex daily wouldn't be exciting to me, it would be my nightmare.

Anyway boring to one person is another person's great. If swinging from the chandeliers isn't your thing, why do it? Some people's genuine turn on is vanilla sex in a relationship.

No, but then I've been single for about a century.

been in a loving relationship[p for 20 years but haven't had sex in well over 7 years due to 24/7 caring duties to babies then turned in to disabled children

we have only ever been with each other(him 17 me 18)so neither knows any different really

ive not even slept in the same bed as him since 03 as i chose to co sleep from day 1 with both kids,then disabilities kicked in and the 9 y old hasn't left my bed yet and the 15 y old is with dad

but we are happy,stressed and burnt out but still a happy relationship and spend 24/7 together(and 2 kids)

We very much aren't vanilla and I dislike missionary sex full stop, but as long as those involved are enjoying themselves, does it really matter? The problem comes when you have one person who is happy with a certain type and their partner isn't.

I prefer a nice cup of tea

Count yourself lucky. I don't get any, not now or ever. Just unlucky, I suppose .

Sex is important to a relationship I think. Do you both feel good afterwards? Does it give you a lift/buzz the next day and make you feel more loving towards your partner? I think that's all that matters..not how you are doing it or what type of sex you are having

I don't think it's important as people make out.

It certainly isn't the most important thing in a long term relationship if both of you are happy having little or even none.

Obviously whenever a thread like this appears, you get the 'boast posts' .."Oh, I only have it 5 times a week"

What makes boring or non boring sex? It it's pleasurable how can it be boring?

It's not boring if it suits both needs and both are happy. You could be a lights out, missionary, once a fortnight couple but if you both enjoy that then it's not boring. Everyone likes different things. It's when a mismatch occurs that there is a problem.

Hate the phrase great sex'. It reminds me of patronising women's magazines. Im about as interested in people's 'great shits' to be honest.

During attached times or highly single times, I would be crawling up the wall without regular sex. I have needs.

I am mid twenties, single, and haven't had sex since... last March I think? Coming up to a year now.

I sort of miss it, but I don't want sex with someone unless I know them, like them, etc. I'm just built for committed relationships I think. I miss good kissing more!

So I'm definitely not having loads of great sex in my previous relationship it was once a month max after the first year or so. A contributing factor to the breakup but I did put up with it for three years and wasn't having plenty of sex in those either.

If you're both happy (you say he is, are you?) then just enjoy it.

I'm not sure I'd rely on posts in the 'sex' forum as a barometer for a 'normal' sex life.

Nope !!!
Due to husbands inability ..

@isthisaname - A lot of people posting on the sex forum are having difficulties with their sex lives. It may not be a barometer for “normal” whatever that is, but it might well resemble the real world.