Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To drive at the speed limit

353 replies

Mamboitaliano · 16/01/2020 22:39

OK I know in theory I'm not being unreasonable not to break the law - but why do I feel like I'm the only one then?

I drive to work along a dual carriageway. It's a clearly signposted 60mph road. The traffic in the left lane drives at 60. The traffic in the right lane drives at 70+ There's a roundabout where I have to turn off this road, taking the third exit (right), so I move into the right lane and drive at 60. Because it's the speed limit. But almost always, someone charges right up behind me and then drives intimidatingly close to the back of my car. I really really hate it. I feel like I'm being bullied each time, and I also feel very uncomfortable with having drivers so close to the back of my car. If I had to brake they'd go right into the back of me.

Am I just boring and nobody actually drives at the speed limit? Am I being unreasonable driving at the speed limit and annoying all the other drivers on their way to work?

YABU = You don't need to drive at 60.
YANBU = You should drive at the speed limit

OP posts:
cologne4711 · 17/01/2020 08:34

I've said thank you to the posters who have pointed out that it's a good idea to slow down if someone is tailgating you, for safety reasons

As I've said above, please don't. Just carry on at the speed you were doing and don't worry about them.

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 17/01/2020 08:34

I did a speed awareness course and am now very conscious of speed limits. The advice on the course was to slow down if you feel you're being intimidated, which often happens when the variable speed limits apply on the motorway, even though I'm in the inside lane. I sometimes put my hazard flashers on too.

newlifenewme2020 · 17/01/2020 08:35

Bullshit. My brothers a paramedic with advance driver training and he's a shit driver. My SM is a middle-lane-hogging driving instructor

I doubt he is a shit driver while driving the ambulance or he would have been pulled up by now they get assessed so often

BigFatLiar · 17/01/2020 08:35

Little brother has this problem sometimes he doesn't mind. He drives an unmarked police car.

hazell42 · 17/01/2020 08:36

The drivers I dislike are those who come up behind you in the inside or middle lane then flash their lights at you to get out of theur way, when they could clearly overtake
Fuck off. It's not my responsibility to get out of your way, so that you can floor it in one continuous line.
Get up earlier and stop waving your arms and beeping at me because you're late

cologne4711 · 17/01/2020 08:37

OP I had a similar situation on Sunday. I was on the M3 approaching the M25 junction from the south. I wanted to stay on the M3 to go into south west London. There are four lanes, I was in the 1st lane and needed the 3rd lane for London. So I needed to get over two lanes in plenty of time. I was doing around 65mph, maybe a touch more. I don't leave it until the last minute to move, I move as soon as the lane markings change, if it's safe to do so.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 17/01/2020 08:38

@newlifenewme2020 irrelevant how he drives at work. Your argument is that your friend must be a good driver because she has advanced driver training.

@hazell42 if they're flashing at you to move over your probably still lane-hogging. It doesn't matter if they could use the outside lane, you should be using the inside one.

newlifenewme2020 · 17/01/2020 08:38

How can they overtake if you are on the inside lane?

If you are doing the speed limit ok but if you are not you do need to move back over as soo. As possible- also the law

loutypips · 17/01/2020 08:39

Most dual carriageways are 70mph, so maybe that's why they are going faster.
If it's the white sign with a black line then it's 70.

cologne4711 · 17/01/2020 08:39

I doubt very much that an ambulance driver is a bad driver. They do advanced training and are assessed regularly. Maybe they actually drive very well and it's your driving habits that need considering.

Did you know for example, that if you approach a motorway junction you are supposed to stay in lane except in the situation I mentioned above? The lane markings change to let you know. Did you know that? I didn't and it was a paramedic who told me.

cologne4711 · 17/01/2020 08:40

Most dual carriageways are 70mph, so maybe that's why they are going faster

And those which are not, have clear signage. I imagine the OP knows what a 60 limit sign looks like.

newlifenewme2020 · 17/01/2020 08:40

@newlifenewme2020 irrelevant how he drives at work. Your argument is that your friend must be a good driver because she has advanced driver training

Erm I think I said she has people coming up behind her tailgating when she is in an unmarked police car when she would be driving well*
I didn’t say anything about her driving when she is not in one

cologne4711 · 17/01/2020 08:41

if they're flashing at you to move over your probably still lane-hogging. It doesn't matter if they could use the outside lane, you should be using the inside one

not necessarily, you might be in the middle lane overtaking slower traffic in the inside lane but they don't like you being there as they are Very Important People driving Very Expensive Cars and why should they use the outside lane?

newlifenewme2020 · 17/01/2020 08:42

Also find it hard to believe that a paramedic would risk their driving licence by driving like an idiot when they are not in duty.

I know many drivers in the emergency services and they are all very conscious of this

Original poster
Mamboitaliano · 17/01/2020 08:44

Thanks to the posters who have advised me to try to ignore it. I really need to learn not to care that they are looming up behind me.

If any posters do this (and judging by this thread I bet there are a few) just consider that if the person in front of you is forced to brake for any reason, you have zero chance of stopping. Also, consider that you're trying to bully someone into breaking the law.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamboitaliano · 17/01/2020 08:44

Ok that last bit did sound sanctimonious. Grin But it does feel very unfair to be intentionally intimidated for sticking to the law.

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 17/01/2020 08:45

Did you know for example, that if you approach a motorway junction you are supposed to stay in lane except in the situation I mentioned above? The lane markings change to let you know. Did you know that? I didn't and it was a paramedic who told me.

If you didn't know that you shouldn't be driving.

Also find it hard to believe that a paramedic would risk their driving licence by driving like an idiot when they are not in duty. *

Driving like an idiot is different to being a shit driver

cologne4711 · 17/01/2020 08:48

If you didn't know that you shouldn't be driving

It wasn't a rule when I was learning to drive. The paramedic who mentioned it said that it was a relatively new development.

I don't think many people do know that, so you can beetle off with your tiresome sanctimony.

cologne4711 · 17/01/2020 08:49

Driving like an idiot is different to being a shit driver

It isn't really. But paramedics are anything but rubbish drivers.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 17/01/2020 08:53

Ok you know how my family drive and don't know the rules of the road and I'm wrong and sanctimonious thank you for your time.

Damntheman · 17/01/2020 08:59

People are awful. YANBU OP!

And definitely do slow down if someone is tailgating you and you feel intimidated. It's much better to be at a slower speed for a potential impact and to have a longer space between you and the car in front to attempt to prevent a multi-car pile up if the shithead tailgating you causes an accident.

Tailgaters are the WORST. If you come up swiftly behind someone else because of a corner then you back off ASAP! If you do that then you're not tailgating. I'm talking about those who deliberately drive too close to intimidate the driver in front into speeding up. It's shitty and it's dangerous. Don't do it.

MollyButton · 17/01/2020 09:01

Why do threads like this always go the same way?

Yes there are stretches of rd with 60 mph speed limits, maybe they are rare where you are and that's why you haven't seen them.
The argument that speedometers read slowly so you should be driving faster than they say - I'd love to see this one argued in court. I personally like the margin, so if I got a bit faster to overtake cleanly I know I'm still probably okay.
Speed limits are there for a reason - except the National Speed limit, which is the default if the local authority/highways agency haven't changed it. Hence the reason you sometimes get the national speed limit sign just before a ridiculous hazard - blind bend, humped bridge.
Regardless of speed limits you are supposed to drive at a safe speed - which can be far less than the limit.

And do we need to personally insult each other?

HelloHelloHelloHelloHelloHello · 17/01/2020 09:05

I get what you are saying OP, but sounds like you are moving over too quickly, and that can be extremely annoying and end up blocking two lanes and causing tailbacks to the roundabout. Keep going within the speed limit and just make sure you move over at a more appropriate time so as not to piss everyone else off.

AmyFarrahFowlersTiara · 17/01/2020 09:05

That used to happen to me all the time on a road I (thankfully!) no longer drive regularly. People coming off the motorway and onto dual carriage, so wanting to stick to the speed. I am a petty person and naturally dropped down to until they started to act like reasonable drivers or I was done with whatever I had to do (overtake, turn, etc). Clearly I am not the only one as they usually backed off and started to behave.

I did consider getting a clearly visible dashcam for the backwindow, though, to see if that would discourage that behaviour. Worst case, I could prove that any accident would be due to their speeding.

(Mind you, I don't mind to go faster than the speed limit if the steets are empty and it is reasonably safe but commuting hours just aren't the right time for that.)

Original poster
Mamboitaliano · 17/01/2020 09:09

Tailgaters are the WORST. If you come up swiftly behind someone else because of a corner then you back off ASAP! If you do that then you're not tailgating. I'm talking about those who deliberately drive too close to intimidate the driver in front into speeding up. It's shitty and it's dangerous. Don't do it.

Yes, it's not tailgating to suddenly come up behind someone who was going slower than you expected - that happens to all of us. It's what you do next. You drop back, asap. All of us who have been tailgated know it's deliberately meant to be intimidating - and why should someone be intimidated into breaking the law? To be honest, even if someone is doing 40 in a 60 or whatever (which I never do and understand is also dangerous) you still shouldn't be tailgating them as it's still dangerous. If anything, those nervous 40-in-a-60 drivers are more likely to hit the brakes.

OP posts: