To be too tired to do anything most evenings ?

[Sugarcainx]

I honestly have no idea how people can go out for drinks a few nights a week or to different hobbies etc. Most nights after work.
I'm a teacher and the fact that I can't drive doesn't help. I wake up at 6am every day, leave at 6:30 and get to work just before 8. It takes me about 1h15 on public transport, it would be 25 minutes in a car. Sometimes I get a taxi in so I can sleep longer, but can't afford this every day.
I refuse to get up earlier than 6 so I leave with wet hair every morning, as I don't have time to blow dry it.
I usually get home at 6:15pm,sometimes 5:30 if I leave earlier. However I tutor 2 evenings a week which means I get home at about 7:15 ish.
Honestly i'm just shattered. Live on my own and don't really cook anything complicated, and I just want to crash in front of the TV.
I manage a 2k run one night im back early, but otherwise my exercise is done Friday-Sunday mainly, as well as my cleaning and anything else.
I catch up on sleep on the weekends and I just couldn't imagine having a relationship as i'm too tired and busy.
I know I don't have kids, and l'm only 28 so not sure it's normal to be so tired.
I need to pass my test as the quality of life would improve significantly if I had a car.
I live in a big city, yet buses tend to take longer routes and stop constantly. What takes 20 minutes in a car takes an hour on a bus here, it's just ridiculous.

How do other people get on ? Is this a normal feeling ?

I live about 10 miles from the city centre where most social events, meetups etc. happen and after doing 2.5 hours of bus that day, I really don't feel like doing even more travelling.
I see my family and friends at the weekend and I would like a relationship but I can't see it happening.

I'm not a teacher which I think is a very full on job but I'm a copy editor with a big workload and it's a job that uses every ounce of my brain. That said I leave the house at 7 and only have a miles walk to work. Get home at 6. And I'm so tired.

I go to bed around 8. Rarely do anything after work and just flake out. I was the same at school. I just find being out of the house all day knackering.

The geography you have is the same for me . I never go home from work then go out , catch ups are straight from work for tea ( or glass wine . As you are using public transport ) so the catch up extends my day
Eat well in the day , it really does make a difference . Lots of water too
Get yourself checked by doc too
Once you pass your test life will be easier time wise , I know it’s expensive but it will be worth it
Batch cook , if you can’t cope with your hair either dry shampoo and out it up , or maybe an easier hairstyle ??

It's worth seeing your GP but my instinct is that you are just knackered.

Other people will tell you that they can teach full time, raise 15 children and still find time to run a charity and exercise 3 times a day 😄 but it doesn't really matter what everyone else does.

I'm older than you but with no kids and do a demanding job that takes a huge amount of mental energy. I rarely go out in the week, maybe once a fortnight and I'm shattered the next day. I feel like weekdays are a drudge and then weekends are just spent catching up on sleep and trying to fit in every I have no energy for Monday to Friday.

Definitely prioritise learning to drive.

I'd look at a cleaner.

Do a food planner for the month and do an online shop for the basics and freezer stuff. Then all you need to do is quick top up shops for fresh veg and milk etc

Even buy frozen chopped veg like onion etc which makes it easier to cook quickly and stuff doesn't go off.

Batch cook every couple of weeks and fill the freezer with curries, chilli, bolognese and soups.

Give yourself a break, you have a really tiring job. I would think about whether this is what you want from your life long term though. Is there a way to take the pressure off a bit?

I'm a single parent teacher with 4 children. I leave at 7am and get home at 6pm 2 nights a week 5pm the other nights.

It's hard but finding time for excersie will help you feel better. I run 2 nights a week and go to the gym one evening and one morning before school a week.

You have to carve out the time for yourself. Protect it as if it's the most precious thing.

Use the commute effectively. Read and reply to emails. Get an iPad/laptop and do your lesson planning/seating plans/marking etc.

Get a pre made scheme of work/power points and resources and just adapt them rather than starting from scratch

And learn to drive. Although if you can't afford lessons you won't afford to run a car. So maybe your finances need looking at.

Thanks for the suggestions. I'm a bit depressed atm I think over being cheated on/guy got with someone else, I spend a lot of time mulling over it and that doesn't help.
Fortunately I just live in a small studio so cleaning isn't too bad.
My hair is in a bob so too short to tie up, if I don't dry/straighten it it curls up and looks a mess.
I'll start trying to do it at night though as of Monday.
I do enjoy the challenge. I think it's more difficult as i'm new but hopefully will get easier over the years. I know some teachers who are staying until 6pm every night or say theyre coming home and working till midnight, so sounds like I have it easier !
Thanks again for the help, I'm sure it will get easier !

That does sound very tough. Could you try to find a job nearer home? Or move closer to school?

I’m late 30s and a teacher too (English, so lots of marking!) and I could have written your post.

I got a cleaner. Best decision ever.

Hammer the driving lessons. My NQT has just passed her test and it’s made the world of difference to her. Yes, it’s expensive, but your social life funds can go in that direction for a bit

Don’t work too hard! I rarely being work home. The job will suck up your whole life if you let it, but it doesn’t need to!

Agree that carving time out for yourself is important.

Make the most of the weekends. I drag myself out even though I’m still tired and am almost always glad I did when I get there!

The hair struggle is real! Mine is very fine and would be greasy by the morning so I have to do that too!

It takes me about 1h15 on public transport, it would be 25 minutes in a car.

The only problem is that driving lessons are so expensive, gonna be an extra couple of hundred a month, don't know how people afford it.

You need to sort the driving thing. Consider it an investment in your own well being. 25mins vs 1hr 15 is massive. You will save a lot of time and I think feel better as well.

Learn to drive, one lesson a week is not a couple of hundred quid, plus if you’re not socialising a lot due to being tired surely you don’t have many outgoings apart from rent/utilities.

My ex (who i still cringe about he was so awful) was a teacher and SENCO, he went out 2-3 times a week and seemingly had time to have an affair.

Everyones different, some people do just need a bit more sleep than others. But it sounds like poor diet and a lack of exercise may also be causing you some problems.

I thought that 2h a week would be better, that's what most seem to recommend. That's around £50 now, or £200 per month.
I'm just gonna have to do it though, and try and improve my diet. I get really hungry throughout the day and end up eating a lot of sugar and refined carbs which isn't good.
I'm in MFL, and luckily i'm quite fast with planning, like another poster said it's just the marking !

Whilst you learn to drive could you get a bike and cycle to work ? That way you’d cut down your commute and get some good exercise in too ? If there are showers you could use at work then maybe wash/ dry your hair there too ( or wear an old fashioned showercap)

I could do, but it involves going on the motorway so i'd have to see if I could find another round. Just don't feel very confident cycling on busy junctions in the pitch black 😂

If you weren’t spending so long commuting you could probably pick up some more tutoring to pay back the cost of the lessons/running a car.

How do you feel in the holidays?

I would book an intensive course in the Easter holidays. Just get it done.

I totally empathise with you-I need downtime and sleep and always have done. I very rarely go out midweek-to be honest, neither does DH. We collapse in front of the telly! I do appreciate that’s ‘ok’ if you’re married but hard if you’re single and want to meet someone.

It doesn’t matter if someone on mumsnet’s sister is a teacher and goes out every weekend, you so what you must do to survive.

That is a lengthy commute though which is a killer. I would definitely prioritise driving lessons-also, can you afford a car/petrol/insurance etc when you’ve passed?

If not, then move to a closer school.

@Sugarcainx it could be worth a try, get some lights for your bike and a hi viz jacket and you’re ready to go. This route planner is great, it shows you elevation and detail of the type of route www.cyclinguk.org/journey-planner . In London the tfl One shows. Back streets vs main roads so your town/city might have similar. You won’t necessarily have to be on main roads all time you could do back streets, cycle psths, through parks and canal towpaths as well. Good luck and remember it will start getting lighter soon.

Totally agree with what everyone has said. Plan meals, batch cook and freeze. Do hair in the evenings. Mark work en route to make use of the time. Prioritise driving immediately; Easter is coming. Book an intensive course now and take the hit. It will make everything easier for you by the sounds of it. No matter how hard try and do some sort of exercise as often as you can. And get the thyroid and bloods checked. If you can afford it have some light therapy. Darkness and winter can often cause this. Good luck!

What about friday nights? can you go out then?

I agree that Driving lessons are a good idea.They really will help you.And although expensive ,as a friend at the time said to me once you have passed then you have it for life! I feel tired too and this time of year doesnt help !Are you seeing friends at the weekends ? Mulling over a guy who was a cheat isnt worth it ,as I have recently said to my DD after she found out BF was cheating on her .I think as the weather improves maybe try to run go for a swim and so on .Feeling depressed will bring you down a bit as well.Try to eat some nice fruit as a treat (Raspberries are delicious and as good as a choc bar to me)!

2.5 hours commute is a lot. Could you register on a lift sharing site? There's bound to be somebody driving in and out near you. Hope things get better for you x

Also re washing your hair every day ,mine is very fine so I was washing each day ,however someone said to leave 2/3 days as its better and lo and behold much better condition now !

OP perhaps you could do intense driving lessons in the holiday, grow hair a bit so you have option to tie it up for work, mark/plan work during your bus/ train journey. Best of luck

I’m a teacher and have always felt same.

Turns out I had a hugely under active thyroid too. The doctor said “did you not notice you were tired?” 🤦🏽‍♀️

Problem is, fixing the thyroid didn’t do overmuch for the teacher exhaustion (and now I’m heavily pregnant so it’s not going to go away, is it!)