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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upset at email accusing me of being racist?

88 replies

Drowningmysorroes · 16/01/2020 19:15

I live in a block of 8 flats and we all share the freehold. A couple bought one of the flats but never moved in.

We held a meeting when they bought the flat (I was still very new to the building too) and they stated they wanted to do building work to the flat.

Nothing else mentioned, no vote taken and I never heard anything since.

Two years later they sent us an email (Flat is still empty) saying building work is now commencing. The directors (without my knowledge) got a solicitor to issue them a letter to confirm the boundaries and work intended.

I’ve now come home from an awful day at work to an email calling us all racist and using bullying and harassing behaviour against them.

I met this couple almost two years ago for about 2 hours and have had no involvement with them since or their proposed building works. I could not care less if they were pink, blue or purple.

But when I have an email calling me racist I am actually very upset.

OP posts:
WeHaveSnowdrops · 17/01/2020 06:55

Why was there a meeting when they bought the flat, does that happen every time a flat is sold?

Seems odd.

Bakedbrie · 17/01/2020 07:10

They sound toxic. To me this sounds like something to do with the intended building works / directors has gone against them in someway and rather than take it on the chin or work with that outcome they are sniffing a conspiracy where it doesn’t exist and sticking the racist card on top to boot. There’s clearly a business back story here that we know nothing about but they are daft and deluded on the face of it......unless of course the directors did say something of a racist insinuation maybe???

Aprilsinparis · 17/01/2020 07:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Equanimitas · 17/01/2020 07:14

Love the fact that OP gets an unsolicited letter from people she barely knows calling her racist and she has to think about her attitudes. Any other baseless claim would be met with advice to ignore - this accusation gives posters an opportunity to berate the OP about her potential hidden racism.

This. Clearly some people on here are dying to find out that OP actually is racist so they can have a lovely time telling her off about it.

AllideasAndNoAction · 17/01/2020 07:23

I agree with Bakedbrie

Sounds straightforward really. All the other occupants are white or at least British. New owners are non white and/or non British.

Building plans are rigorously questioned or thwarted. New owners jump to conclusions and get arsey.

Livingoncake · 17/01/2020 08:09

OP, your best bet is to follow up with the directors and try to find out what has happened here. I understand why you’re upset, you’ve been blindsided. It likely doesn’t actually have anything to do with you, though.

And I can’t believe those of you who are saying that OP must be racist in some way just off the back of an email from people she doesn’t even know! Really? Are you just trying to show us all how very woke you are?

FredaFox · 17/01/2020 08:29

How did they know your email address?

Owlypants · 17/01/2020 09:01

Have you been racist towards the neighbours in any way?
No? Reply to the email asking for clarity
Yes? Stop being racist

Drowningmysorroes · 17/01/2020 17:05

Firstly I didn’t come back because I assumed the thread had died. There was a 2 hour difference between my last post and the new post - I went to sleep and then had work.

from the pigment melanin, which is brown. I am not being goady, but want to gently suggest you calm down and think about why you are so offended by being called racist. Not being able to talk about how people look different, or being able to use the correct words for someone's identity suggests you do have issues around race

They referred to themselves as people of colour hence my comment of I couldn’t care what colour any person is. Perhaps I should have worded it as I do not care regarding how much melasma one has.

There is no drip feed.

OP posts:
Drowningmysorroes · 17/01/2020 17:06

How did they know your email address?

From the meeting 2 years ago we had a chain of emails discussing times and place and minutes.

OP posts:
Drowningmysorroes · 17/01/2020 17:07

What does the letter actually say?

It’s 23 paragraphs long.

OP posts:
Drowningmysorroes · 17/01/2020 17:13

We held a meeting when they bought the flat

Was there a meeting when you got your flat?

Is there always a building meeting when someone new moves in?

I was new too, they were just newer and it was a meeting held to sort out the freehold for 3 flats - myself included.

Also major building work for part of roof needed to be discussed.

No one has moved out since that meeting so therefore there have been no new people move in.,

OP posts:
NanooCov · 17/01/2020 17:18

What did the solicitors letter say? Was there some sort of cock up and something that could be perceived to be racist was included? No idea what that could be but who knows.... When you say "directors" do you mean the other freeholders?

GiveHerHellFromUs · 17/01/2020 18:31

It’s 23 paragraphs long.

I clearly wasn't asking to read the whole letter. I just wanted to know what they actually said that made you feel they were accusing you of being racist.

I can understand why they find you difficult to deal with now though.

Strawberryorangess · 17/01/2020 19:02

What did they say you did ?!
This thread is so pointless because you refuse to actually expand.

BallacheForLife · 17/01/2020 19:20

What a pointless thread. You won't even say what the letter stated or WHY they have made these accusations.
I don't know what you expect from this thread if you only give some of the information. Ridiculous really.

Drowningmysorroes · 17/01/2020 19:21

What does the letter actually say?

I clearly wasn't asking to read the whole letter. I just wanted to know what they actually said that made you feel they were accusing you of being racist.

How is the above sentence/post in any way clear that you only wanted to read a specific part about of the letter?

Confused

Sounds like you’re the difficult one. Not me.

Also where at any point did I say they said I’d been difficult to deal with? I’ve had zero interaction with them aside from 1 hour - nearly 2 years ago.

OP posts:
PristineCondition · 17/01/2020 19:23

Jesus.....

RhiWrites · 17/01/2020 19:28

Are we playing 20 questions?

imaflutteringkite · 17/01/2020 19:33

What does it actually say that accuses you of being racist?

Oakenbeach · 17/01/2020 20:24

There are some who seem to think that any accusation of racism cannot be challenged... I’ve seen it on MN in the Meghan Markle discussions recently.

Basically the line goes, if a person says someone is racist then it follows that the someone is racist, as apparently racism is felt and you can’t tell someone they don’t feel something, in the same way you can’t tell someone they’re not upset or not scared.

ALLMYSmellySocks · 17/01/2020 20:36

Well it can't have anything to do with you personally so I think I'd be more bemused than offended and I'd probably just try to get to the bottom of what on earth the problem is.

Equanimitas · 17/01/2020 23:23

You won't even say what the letter stated or WHY they have made these accusations

Does it occur to anyone that OP doesn't know why they made the accusations?

I get the distinct feeling that people on here are getting cross because they're dying to find a stick to beat OP with and feeling frustrated that they haven't managed it.

Strawberryorangess · 18/01/2020 00:03

No one wants to beat OP.

OP has said somebody has accused her of racism.
Won’t explain what they accused her of.
Expects us to say “ aww sorry babe, you’re no racist”

How do we know ?

JasonPollack · 18/01/2020 00:09

I could not care less if they were pink, blue or purple

This is racist. Maybe they're right. Pretty hard to tell when you won't explain at all what has been said.