Upset at email accusing me of being racist?

[Drowningmysorroes]

I live in a block of 8 flats and we all share the freehold. A couple bought one of the flats but never moved in.

We held a meeting when they bought the flat (I was still very new to the building too) and they stated they wanted to do building work to the flat.

Nothing else mentioned, no vote taken and I never heard anything since.

Two years later they sent us an email (Flat is still empty) saying building work is now commencing. The directors (without my knowledge) got a solicitor to issue them a letter to confirm the boundaries and work intended.

I’ve now come home from an awful day at work to an email calling us all racist and using bullying and harassing behaviour against them.

I met this couple almost two years ago for about 2 hours and have had no involvement with them since or their proposed building works. I could not care less if they were pink, blue or purple.

But when I have an email calling me racist I am actually very upset.

You aren’t telling the full story. Nobody sends an email calling someone racist without some provocation whether correct or not. What did you do?

I don't understand the bit about "boundaries". If they are renovating their own flat - apart from noise and possibly dust - how will it impact on the other seven flats? I'm lost.

People aren't blue or purple, everyone's skin tone comes from the pigment melanin, which is brown. I am not being goady, but want to gently suggest you calm down and think about why you are so offended by being called racist. Not being able to talk about how people look different, or being able to use the correct words for someone's identity suggests you do have issues around race. You may feel that the email you have been sent is unjustified, if you have had nothing to do with the letter, but your level of upset about it is off. Someone expressing they feel discriminated against is an admission of their vulnerability. To take offense (or use it as an excuse to discriminate against them, as @donquixotedelamancha suggests), is just demonstrating your privilege over them. I hope you manage to find some resolution with your new neighbours.

A misunderstanding doesn’t justify calling someone a racist.

Huh?

Well it might do, mightn't it?

It depends on the details, none of which you've actually shared.

What was the “misunderstanding”, op?

And you haven't been back to give us more info?

Maybe just ignore it and grow a thicker skin? If you know you’re not racist then you’ve zero to worry about.

I can imagine that this was awful to come home to, but I second the advice about taking some time to think.

From what you've said, the letter called EVERYONE in the block of flats racist and accused EVERYONE of harassment and bullying.

Speak with your current neighbours and see how they're feeling.

If you are part of the collective you are responsible for what the collective has done to these people for the past two years.

To take offense (or use it as an excuse to discriminate against them, as @donquixotedelamancha suggests), is just demonstrating your privilege over them.

What on earth suggests that OP is privileged over these people?

To not 'discriminate' against someone for sending you abusive emails is the height of idiocy. Giving into demands because someone was rude is not being nice, it's being a mug.

Not being able to talk about how people look different, or being able to use the correct words for someone's identity suggests you do have issues around race.

Implying someone is racist for being upset about abusive emails suggests more issues than the OP.

We held a meeting when they bought the flat

Was there a meeting when you got your flat?

Is there always a building meeting when someone new moves in?

It's not possible to answer the question as there isn't enough information to make a judgement about whether any racism is involved.

Not being able to talk about how people look different, or being able to use the correct words for someone's identity suggests you do have issues around race.

This is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read on Mumsnet.

It's like something out of Kafka. Person A gets a spurious accusation of racism, expresses upset about it, and the fact that she does so means that she IS in fact racist?

You’re leaving out some crucial plot element — why are they claiming you’re racist?

You aren’t telling the full story. Nobody sends an email calling someone racist without some provocation whether correct or not. What did you do?

Of, FFS, Isn't it obvious? They're annoyed about the letter they've received, they're aware that all the flat owners have shares in the freeholders and have some say in what the freeholders do, they suggest that the letter was prompted by racism hence they're calling all the flat owners racists.

Grow up

Yes OP needs to grow up not the unhinged nutjobs calling everyone racist.

I wouldn’t respond OP these people are clearly mental/lack social skills & arguing with them could cause some kind of violent escalation.

Right so the directors, who represent all the freeholders, did something behind your back. As they represent all the freeholders the couple are accusing you, as a collective of freeholders, as exhibiting that behaviour.

I suggest you find out what the directors have done and if any wording or behaviour is not above board see if you can get the person responsible to resign.

Yes OP needs to grow up not the unhinged nutjobs calling everyone racist.

All three need to grow up. They're just over-reacting about different things.

What’s the full story OP? No one randomly sends an email out of nowhere accusing someone of being racist. There must be some back story

So you've had a shit day at work and are feeling low, and then someone randomly calls you (as part of a group) a racist - I can see how that would feel like a "last straw" for the day, but really, people here are right - it's not aimed directly at you, they probably don't know you from a bar of soap either!

Just ignore it.

I voted YABU solely because of the complete lack of detail.

It’s gonna be fun if/when they do move into the flat. Are they directly above or below you?

YABU to be upset by it, it’s clearly nothing to do with you. There may or may not have been racism in communication with the directors but it’s not on you. Move on!

Totally ignore.
Do not reply with anything especially not ‘i don’t even know you’ - indicates you might be racist if you did !!
Something has clearly gone on.

I personally would contact the directors and ask what has gone on to result in this email to everyone. Then have no further involvement.

Love the fact that OP gets an unsolicited letter from people she barely knows calling her racist and she has to think about her attitudes . Any other baseless claim would be met with advice to ignore - this accusation gives posters an opportunity to berate the OP about her potential hidden racism.

As for the ‘get over yourself’ advice - of course she’s upset - these people are going to be her neighbours.

So solicitors were instructed to confirm boundaries etc - which is very normal.

Then out of the blue you got an email calling you racist?

Something doesnt add up here. I think theres more to the story that you either dont know, or you're not saying.

What does the letter actually say?