To think it's harder for me?

[gallgal]

I have been ill for over a year, steadily getting worse. My gallbladder is kaput and needs to come out, so we have surgery pencilled for next month.

Since the summer I have been living with:

Daily nausea, exactly like severe morning sickness (I had three HG pregnancies so I don't make this comparison lightly)

Constant moderate to severe pain in my upper abdomen and back that can only really be eased a little with opiates

Extreme exhaustion, probably because of the two previous points

Morning diarrhoea, which conveniently hits exactly at the time I need to get DC1 to school

There have been three occasions where the pain has been so severe that I haven't been able to get out of bed and have had to go to A&E, on these three occasions DH had to arrange to work from home to cover school pickups etc.

But the rest of the time I have been doing everything I was doing before as a SAHM to two small children, just doing it while feeling like utter dogshit and/or smacked off my tits on prescription painkillers.

So AIBU to want to scream at DH when he repeatedly tells me how hard this whole illness thing has been 'for us' and is a thing that 'we have got to get through'?

Has he been crawling to the bathroom to puke on the reg and I've missed it or something? I haven't seen him doubled over in agony at any point in the last six months.

Today he's been messaging me about how exhausted he feels at work, then - the kicker -
'Think we both feel broken from the last six months'

AIBU to shout at him in caps that he's NOT bloody broken, I AM?

Whether or not you're reasonable is beside the point. You're feeling so lousy that being reasonable can go out the window. I hope things improve for you.

YANBU
Can he afford to buy some nice ready meals? Then some microwave rice, jars of pasta sauce, pre made meatballs, wok noodles, pre-cut veg, salad bags, large potatoes for jacketing, baked bean pots etc etc Anything that he can do quickly and easily.

A few pounds on paper plates, bowls and plastic forks sounds like an investment right now.(buy on Ebay catering packs) It is a short term fix but will take a huge burden off your usual sahm routine. You could rest a bit and he can make a really good tea with minimal fuss and almost no clearing up.
So sorry you are going through this awful time.

Sorry you’re not well but I think you’re underestimating the impact that it has on other. It doesn’t just impact on you, but on your family too. It no doubt determines what you can do as a family and days out etc will no doubt have to be managed around your condition.
I say this because I know what it’s like. I have a condition that impacts on my mobility. I’m in pain most of the time too. Luckily my husband is extremely understanding. I feel guilty that it stops us doing what we could before, as we were very active.
I think you’re being selfish if you think you’re the only one who is suffering. Your husband also has the financial responsibility for the family too. I think you need to cut him some slack.

Whilst I agree your dh sounds like he’s trying to be supportive by making you a team and probably is stressed about/by your illness I think this is a classic case of not knowing your audience.

You don’t sound like you have the resources to be supporting him right now. He needs to seek that somewhere else. You need his game face.