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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Older sibling walking younger home from school

75 replies

user133367 · 15/01/2020 19:51

DC 1 and 2 in the same school, and DC 3 starting a different school in September. The clash in pick up time means having to pay £10 a day after school care for youngest or middle DC unless I can find an alternative solution. DC1 will be in year 10 so is fine alone but DC 2 year 4. Would you let DC1 year 10 pick up and walk home DC year 4? Is it too much responsibility?

OP posts:
teenagetantrums · 15/01/2020 19:55

Yes l would let them if you think they sensible enough. My DS walked his sister home when she was year 3and he year 6. I was home shortly afterwards. Only you know your kids. I knew mine got on fine and would be ok.

teenagetantrums · 15/01/2020 19:56

Sorry just read year 10. Of course that's ok

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 15/01/2020 19:57

If the school will allow it, and you trust them, then yes.

Camomila · 15/01/2020 19:57

When we were in year 10 me and my friend used to pick up her little brother from primary and taken him home on the bus - it was fine.
This was years ago though, I don't know if now you have to be 16+ to pick up children from school.

Natsku · 15/01/2020 20:00

Of course, so long as they get on OK so there isn't likely to be issues with DC2 not accepting the authority of DC1 on the way home. I would let DC2 walk home alone but that may not be allowed by the school.

Rosehip345 · 15/01/2020 20:02

It entirely depends on your kids.
I’d have been trusted to at that age but none of my brothers would. Also I know several yr10s, some I would trust with my daughter, others I wouldn’t

adaline · 15/01/2020 20:02

It's fine, but is it something the Y10 would want to commit to?

Would they not want to see their friends or something?

iolaus · 15/01/2020 20:06

Some schools insist older siblings are 16 to do pick up - I remember getting stuck in traffic so ringing my 15 year old to pick up her youngest brother - we live on the same road as the junior school and I would have been back probably by the time they walked home if not then 5 minutes later.
One of the teachers was funny about it (I'd tried ringing reception to tell them but they weren't answering) - teacher rang me and said they'd allow it this once but that she should be 16 (in fairness one of the other teachers said he'd have let them, not sure if it was an actual school rule or that teacher) - I also think he may have been infants rather than juniors so that may make a difference

Disfordarkchocolate · 15/01/2020 20:06

Yes, provided they get on well. I used to see lots of older children picking their siblings.

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/01/2020 20:12

The over 16 thing isn't law. At my old school we had a parent who wanted her (not very sensible) 9 year old to take her Reception child home. Neither HT or I thought it was a good idea and checked with the Local Authority and they said it was up to the parent.

Original poster
user133367 · 15/01/2020 20:36

The middle child is an August born with ADHD and can clash with eldest sometimes. So right now I don't think I'd be comfortable with it, but I know a lot can change in 8 months in terms of development so I'd definitely have to wait and see, but deliberately omitted that as I wanted to see if it was a crazy idea for the average more sensible child. Everyday could be too much of a commitment for the year 10 anyway as mentioned, but currently their friends go a different direction.

After school classes are generally half the price of after school care, so I'm hoping there will be some of those available so even if the eldest only did the walk once a week or in emergencies it could be a big help. Or perhaps I could look into finding a 6th former who could help as that would greatly reduce the risk of a clash.

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 15/01/2020 20:37

In principle yes as long as you know it would work ok.

Episcomama · 15/01/2020 20:41

Of course! I wouldn't even have questioned it.

Copperleaves · 15/01/2020 20:48

I don't understand all the year 10 stuff - anyone translate for non-English people? Smile

Patchworksack · 15/01/2020 20:51

Year 10 = 4th year of secondary school, age 14-15.

TheSandman · 15/01/2020 20:53

I don't understand all the year 10 stuff - anyone translate for non-English people?

I'm in Scotland and I haven't got a scooby what that means either - does that translate to S3 do you suppose?

KittenVsBox · 15/01/2020 20:54

Our school would allow in Y4 - and I'd say several families use it a couple of times a week (School will actually release with no adult present Y4 upwards, but the letter comes with heavy warnings about being sure the Y4 can get home safely). Y3 they wouldnt allow it.
How long would it be between collection and you getting home - ie how long for potential clashes?
Your idea about some afterschool groups is good. And maybe DS2 and DS3 could do one afterschool a week each.

sasparilla1 · 15/01/2020 20:58

My year 9 dd occasionally picks up year 3 ds, so they don't have to be 16. She is on the list of approved people.

They don't really need to walk home as ds's school is just over the road from dd's. And we live 3 doors away!

If your eldest is pretty sensible then I can't see a problem. Have broached the subject?

ShawshanksRedemption · 15/01/2020 20:58

In light of the ADHD mention, is your DC ok at school - no behaviour issues? Otherwise would school want to see you to handover and update on behaviour? I think a one off would be OK, but on a regular basis I'm not so sure the school I work in would be OK with this.

(I work with kids with ADHD).

isabellerossignol · 15/01/2020 20:59

And to throw another system into the mix, year 10 is 3rd year of secondary school in N Ireland.

Is year 4, in the OPs scenario, age 9ish?

RedskyAtnight · 15/01/2020 21:00

Yes it's fine and extremely common round here for secondary school children to pick up younger siblings from the junior school.

In fact when the secondary school suggested changing it's finishing time (so it would be after the junior school) one of the points against it was the number of children that were relied on to pick up younger siblings.

CherryPavlova · 15/01/2020 21:00

Mine used to walk home or to my husbands work together when the oldest was twelve. I’m not sure I would have done it with a child who might be unpredictable though.

cherish123 · 15/01/2020 21:02

Yes. They will be fine. Schools only supervise who picks child up for first 2-3 years of primary school.

Purpleartichoke · 15/01/2020 21:06

Where I live, a year 10 student will be learning to drive a car and can have a part-time job (though very restricted on hours allowed). When I was that age my parents left me in charge of younger sibling while they left the country. Now I wouldn’t do that in a million years, but I would certainly trust a teen to walk a sibling home.

The problem though is that your year 10 student will probably have days he needs to stay late at school for various reasons. I wouldn’t want to impinge in his getting help from teachers as needed or from participating in extracurricular activities.

Jeschara · 15/01/2020 21:06

Its fine, my daughter picked up my son.

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