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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childminder leaving child in car

84 replies

Ginnesaisquoi · 15/01/2020 19:04

We have recently found a childminder to look after DD(nearly 2) in the day and collect DD(6) from school a couple of days a week.

Childminder seems very nice and friendly, is on the PTA and very involved with the school - all good.

Today I had a meeting at the school, which I left work early to attend, I’d asked her to collect the girls as usual. As I approached the school at 3:35 I noticed her car, with DD2 sat in the back, alone. The childminder then came around the corner with the children she had collected from school. I was a bit taken aback so didn’t say much, just said I’d run in for the meeting and then would collect DDs straight after.

Her car was parked maybe a minute or twos walk from the main entrance and was not within sight of the school, school finishes at 15:15 so it’s possible DD was alone for 20 minutes. I asked DD6 and she said that the childminder always leaves DD2 to wait in the car.

I would never leave DD alone in the car, something could crash into the car, it could be stolen, she might be sick or anything really.

Maybe I’m overreacting but I want to remove the children from her as I feel the trust is gone, but practically there were no other childcare options, she is very friendly with the other childminder that covers the school, and also very friendly with the class teacher.

So if you’re still reading, AIBU to want to remove the children immediately. What would I even say to her?

OP posts:
caringcarer · 15/01/2020 20:03

It makes you wonder if she would do this on a hot day in the summer too. I would tell her it is unacceptable and give her another chance but ask a friend to note if she now takes dd2 to collect child 1 from school and if told no not leave my child with her.

Chocolatemouse84 · 15/01/2020 20:06

That is totally unacceptable. Regardless of if other people would do this with their own child, she is being paid to look after yours and leaving her unattended in the car is unacceptable.

Lulualla · 15/01/2020 20:06

Report her and remove your kids from her care.

thejollyroger · 15/01/2020 20:09

The problem with just telling her not to do it anymore is that you don’t know what other regulations and good practice she just doesn’t bother with. She’s shown you she doesn’t prioritise your child’s safety. Find another career as soon as possible and report her. It’s not on.

MsMotivator · 15/01/2020 20:10

@HaggardMumofToddler, what a load of tosh! Childminding in England is heavily regulated and poor working practices do happen in nurseries and are publicised in the media. Do not turn this into a Childminder bashing post!!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/01/2020 20:13

No way would I continue to send my kids there. I'd be removing with immediate effect and calling Ofsted.

MsMotivator · 15/01/2020 20:13

@Ginnesaisquoi, I am a Childminder and I would remove your children from her care immediately. I would be concerned about her poor decision making. if she thinks this is acceptable, what else is she being lax about?

oncemorewithfeeling99 · 15/01/2020 20:18

By mumsnet standards I’m not particularly strict about these things but I would be upset and worried by this. I would be fine if on their drive and little one asleep, for example,and childminder watching out kitchen window (I know others wouldn’t but for me this is okay) but out of sight on school run not okay. Doing the school run myself with two toddlers I fully appreciate why she might want to! But I have never done it and wouldn’t be happy with childminder doing so either.

greeentopmilk · 15/01/2020 20:18

Nope nope nope nope.

I would remove the child from her care and tell her exactly why.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/01/2020 20:20

I would start with having a conversation with her and go from there

Poppinjay · 15/01/2020 20:21

One of the reasons I wouldn’t use a childminder. They often have several kids of different ages and just look to be all over the place. It just seems so unregulated which can’t happen at a well run nursery.

During many years working as an early years practitioner, I have seen poor practice in nurseries and childminding. They are equally heavily regulated and each has it's own advantages over the other.

Granted that you wouldn't see this in a well run nursery but you also wouldn't see it done by a decent childminder. There are plenty of poor quality nurseries out there where things happen that wouldn't in the home of a good childminder.

HaggardMumofToddler · 15/01/2020 20:21

Childminding in England is heavily regulated and poor working practices do happen in nurseries and are publicised in the media. Do not turn this into a Childminder bashing post!!

Not my intention. There are some great childminders and bad nursery’s. However I have heard too many negative things about childminders. A friends child came back with bruises, no accident forms or anything. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable putting my DD in the care and trust of one person. Situations like the OP’s can happen too easily, and who would know?

Tattooedmama · 15/01/2020 20:24

Only thing you are unreasonable about is not pulling her up on it right away, i have a 2 year old and i hate leaving him alone to even go in the petrol station to quickly pay (which only takes 30 seconds) i couldnt imagine leaving him alone in a car, thats shocking

Straycatstrut · 15/01/2020 20:29

So many threads on this! WHY do people do it? Would people leave a small child home alone locked in a room for 20 minutes? Why do they think it's okay in a car?

Absolutely would not leave my children with her. I'm extremely socially anxious and even I'd have been like "Is she alone in the car?!" my heart would have been hammering.

Ohyesiam · 15/01/2020 20:30

I wouldn’t like it at all, but if probably be happy to sit down and talk with her to make sure we’re on the same page on all safety matters. If she was reasonable and could answer all my concerns I would consider continuing with her.

winterchills · 15/01/2020 20:30

I would be absolutely livid

HarryHarry · 15/01/2020 20:34

The most I’ve ever done is run into the petrol station shop for a drink for literally 1 minute, when the kids in the car were in sight the whole time. And even that felt too risky! So I would be pretty annoyed with the childminder. I think I’d ask her why she thought that it was OK to do that to your daughter. If she promised never to do it again I would probably let it go. But you have to ask yourself, what other risks might she be taking with them? You need to be on the same page about what you both consider acceptable.

Ohtherewearethen · 15/01/2020 21:29

This is not on at all. You are paying her to look after your child, she's not putting herself out to do you favour, this is her livelihood and she should know, and do, better. It does make one wonder what kind of standards she finds acceptable at home if she so publically disregards Rule 1 of supervising young children, ie. supervise them. Twenty minutes three times a week is one hour you are paying her to leave your daughter unattended and alone. I'd have been tempted to take her out of the car (if left unlocked) and see how the childminder reacted to that.

Poppinjay · 15/01/2020 21:30

Situations like the OP’s can happen too easily, and who would know

There are opportunities for nursery practitioners to cover up behaviour that is just as bad. They can also collude to cover up their own behaviour and are often younger and less experienced than childminders. At least this childminder's inappropriate actions were apparent to others because she had to take the children out in public. In nurseries, everything is behind closed doors.

Childminders can offer better, more realistic life experiences and interaction with a wider range of age groups which can support children's development better. Nurseries rarely let parents down due to staff illness and can use economies of scale to keep prices down.

There are risks and benefits to all the models. Different set-ups suit different families/children and there are good and bad practitioners across the board.

BlueSuffragette · 15/01/2020 21:43

Raise a formal complaint, remove your child from her care and inform Ofsted. It is a serious safeguarding concern.

Newname1978 · 15/01/2020 21:57

I would lose sleep over that

Newname1978 · 15/01/2020 21:58

What's her reason for it anyway?

Freddiefox · 15/01/2020 22:08

Ofsted guidelines stage a child should be within sight or sound of a child a all times.
Clearly she wasn’t. I’d pull my child out

Freddiefox · 15/01/2020 22:08

State not stage

Neverhavetoomuchglitter · 15/01/2020 22:34

Wow. I'm a childminder and this is absolutely not allowed under any circumstances. Children must be in sight or hearing (and preferably both) at all times. Major safeguarding failure. You would be perfectly within your rights to terminate the contract immediately, request any fees back for future care you may have already paid for and report to Ofsted. They would action her over this. I honestly dont know how she dare be so bloody stupid. None of the childminders I know would ever do such a thing so please don't let it put you off others!