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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childminder leaving child in car

84 replies

Ginnesaisquoi · 15/01/2020 19:04

We have recently found a childminder to look after DD(nearly 2) in the day and collect DD(6) from school a couple of days a week.

Childminder seems very nice and friendly, is on the PTA and very involved with the school - all good.

Today I had a meeting at the school, which I left work early to attend, I’d asked her to collect the girls as usual. As I approached the school at 3:35 I noticed her car, with DD2 sat in the back, alone. The childminder then came around the corner with the children she had collected from school. I was a bit taken aback so didn’t say much, just said I’d run in for the meeting and then would collect DDs straight after.

Her car was parked maybe a minute or twos walk from the main entrance and was not within sight of the school, school finishes at 15:15 so it’s possible DD was alone for 20 minutes. I asked DD6 and she said that the childminder always leaves DD2 to wait in the car.

I would never leave DD alone in the car, something could crash into the car, it could be stolen, she might be sick or anything really.

Maybe I’m overreacting but I want to remove the children from her as I feel the trust is gone, but practically there were no other childcare options, she is very friendly with the other childminder that covers the school, and also very friendly with the class teacher.

So if you’re still reading, AIBU to want to remove the children immediately. What would I even say to her?

OP posts:
Tombliwho · 15/01/2020 19:28

That's terrible. Don't let her being on the pta and well like etc stop you from dealing with this appropriately. She should know better and she needs to be reported.

Liverpoolgirl52 · 15/01/2020 19:28

As a childminder, I just want to let you know that this is not the standard. A childminder must never let the children out of sight or hearing. I would definitely advise messaging the other childminder to see if she has space, if not then if be looking at other childminders further away or possibly close to your work.

Ivyr0se · 15/01/2020 19:29

Tell her that you don't want your child left unsupervised in the car.
You don't have to explain any further.

If the childcare is working out in other areas I wouldn't change. People have different views on leaving kids in the car.

You could always look for other care but if there is little choice then I would let this go if she listens to you and doesn't start getting shirty with you.

HaggardMumofToddler · 15/01/2020 19:30

I have observed some interesting childminder practices at our primary school too, including children left in cars. Parking is tricky so one CM arrives an hour early and sits with her younger mindees waiting for school to finish.

One of the reasons I wouldn’t use a childminder. They often have several kids of different ages and just look to be all over the place. It just seems so unregulated which can’t happen at a well run nursery.

Inliverpool1 · 15/01/2020 19:30

If you’re stuck for childcare it’s tricky. You aren’t wrong and you should basically give her a warning shot across the brow and start looking for alternatives ASAP. Check your contract to see what the notice period is

winetime1980 · 15/01/2020 19:32

My childminder let her assistant pick j my daughter up in her car without a car seat. We left her services straight away.

You have to ask what else is happening if they think this is acceptable. Not sure any explanation is acceptable...

carly2803 · 15/01/2020 19:32

no get rid
totally unacceptable!!

I dont leave my kids in the car, ever!

looselegs · 15/01/2020 19:32

I'm a childminder and would never, ever leave a child alone in the car! Absolutely anything could happen- it's just not done!
So, if you're happy with her otherwise, you could speak to the childminder and ask her not to do it again..
Or give immediate notice. You could email Ofsted, but the chances are they'll just send her a letter, asking her to revise how she does things.

JKScot4 · 15/01/2020 19:33

20 mins to get out school? Is she standing chatting g whilst your DD is left? Definitely have a word and see what she says, look elsewhere.

Chamomileteaplease · 15/01/2020 19:35

If you are happy with her apart from this, I would just tell her that you don't want your child left in the car. Hopefully she will be shamefaced and agree readily.

If that's the only problem, it is easily sorted.

But I would be asking around the other parents if they are/were happy with this childminder to help put your mind at ease. If your choices are restricted then what else can you do?

absopugginglutely · 15/01/2020 19:36

Our DD told us that her childminder leaves her and another of the 2 year olds in her car while she goes into Aldi.

It’s a really tough one confronting her but I think it needs to be done.

Original poster
Ginnesaisquoi · 15/01/2020 19:41

Thank you for all your responses, the reassurance really helps.

I’ll have to have a word with her tomorrow and go from there.

@absopugginglutely did you confront her? What did she say?

OP posts:
MrsWhites · 15/01/2020 19:41

I definitely wouldn’t be happy with this. I’d definitely report this to Ofsted, it’s a shame you didn’t take a photograph.

I’d remove my children from her care, if she thinks this is acceptable what else is she doing or not doing? I also wouldn’t expect to pay her for the usual notice period either!

Oysterbabe · 15/01/2020 19:42

I would remove her, the trust is gone. She probably leaves her in there while she pops into the shop or whatever all the time.

kanikke · 15/01/2020 19:42

If she's happy to do this, what else is she doing/not doing behind closed doors?
I'm afraid the trust would be gone.

SunshineCake · 15/01/2020 19:43

Your child needs to come first, second and last. So what if the CM is friends with whoever your child's safety needs to come first.

Nai89 · 15/01/2020 19:43

YANBU!

She is way too young to be in the car alone for long periods of time regularly. The police won't be happy to hear about it, trust me. She should know about this considering her profession. I would talk to her and say it took you by surprise and also that you were not happy to discover it happens alot. Ask her what the law says on this... See what she says.

ellesbellesxxx · 15/01/2020 19:45

YADNBU xx

mummyway · 15/01/2020 19:46

Wow. Remove your child right away from her care. I would never do that

BlackBlueBell · 15/01/2020 19:47

Definitely remove the children from her care! If you talk to her about it and ask her to stop, she may listen for the most part but who’s to say she won’t do it again one day just because dd was having a nap and it was raining and it was just the easy option? That is way too young to be left for that long and out of sight. It’s rare but bad things do happen in those situations.

Drabarni · 15/01/2020 19:49

I wouldn't do it, but plenty of parents and childminders do it.

okiedokieme · 15/01/2020 19:54

Never leave a child, end of no excuses. The only exception is petrol and then should use pay at the pump

TheFuzzyStar · 15/01/2020 19:56

That’s terrible. My DS is almost 3 and has been able to undo his car seat for months and months. Imagine if she undid hers and messed with the car, think handbrake etc. Terrifying.

Junobug · 15/01/2020 19:57

I'm genuinely shocked at the amount of people saying to just ask her not to. She's leaving a 2 year old on her own for 20 mins. Imagine all the things that could happen in 20 mins. I home ed my 6 year old and she often asks to stay in the car whilst I pick her brother up and I say no to her. It's way too long a time for a child to be unsupervised.
You do not need to serve or pay a notice period and she really really needs reporting. She is endangering children and ofstead will have a say on this.

TriangleBingoBongo · 15/01/2020 19:58

Agree with pp.

Completely unacceptable.