To turn down dream house Londoners

[Nochangeplease]

I’m Abu for posting here but need to make a quick decision and although I’m aware strangers on the internet can’t advise I’m interested anyway.
Have the option of moving to a nice place in Sydenham hill. Don’t know the area well or anybody in it but am aware it’s very green and I like that.
But... feels a bit like the middle of nowhere. Nowhere in walking distance. Coming from zone 1 would I be mad to give this area up. Where I am now is great. Kids are settled in their school and wouldn’t want to change.
Anyone have any advice or knowledge of the area?

Mmm that update changes it slightly

Are you currently in elephant and castle? If so I would move in a heartbeat.

I know the area very well I moved last year and frankly sometime wish we hadn't...
@leavesrfalling gives a nice summary there are great pubs and restaurants round there too.

I’d be tempted in your shoes, what do your DCs say about it

Can you give one of the kids your room and you sleep in the living room? A friend of mine did this until her eldest went to Uni.

I’m going to go against the grain here! I live in zone 2 probably between where you are now and Sydenham.

Although I did for many years, I wouldn’t like to live in zone 1 now. I like the quiet and the green space (although my kids are much younger so parks etc are important). Sydenham is nice enough, has reasonable transport, loads of green space, and is close to other nice places.

Also, if you have two of opposite sex sharing you might want to switch. It might work now but when they are both older it might not work so well?

Not to be rude but if the OP can’t afford train tickets, she might not be able to benefit much from restaurants etc.

I would move. It’s a bit unfair on kids to share a room at this age. I’m sure you’ll be able to find a job a bus ride away. It might seem middle of nowhere compared to zone 1 but there are a lot employers about.

I guess it's going to be an unusual person who wants to swap from a 3 bed flat to a 2 bed in Zone 1. Perhaps let go of that particular dream?

If you can't comprehend making any compromises to allow your teens to have a bedroom each then perhaps get a sofa bed and give up your bedroom for a few years.

Most people travel for work which involves a monetary and time cost. It's unfair to not let your children have their own rooms when the option is there.

Sydenham Hill is gorgeous and good train links, but check out the school catchments first, demand hugely exceeds supply.

Yabu for driving a lot when you live in zone 1.

I'm confused. You're renting at the moment? But you can afford to buy a house in an expensive area as your first time buy?

OP, if you ditch the car, you’ll be able to have a season ticket. Kids travel for free, don’t they?

How does your teenager feel about moving to the burbs?

Hi OP Sydenham Hill is absolutely lovely. Great neighbours, easy links into central. You can get a bus to elephant and castle every 15 mins and the train station goes to Victoria and is about 15 mins give or take. Dulwich wood house is the local pub here and it's gorgeous. The food is great the garden is amazing. If you have dogs crescent woods are great for walking. Crystal Palace park is fantastic for kids they'll love the dinosaurs.

The horiman museum is 5 minute walk as is forest hill. You can drive or bus to east dulwich where you'll find great restaurants depending on your taste. Parking on the street is free. Sydenham itself has great pubs. The schools around here are great too. I used to live in se1 and moved. Best thing I ever done! Aldi has recently opened down bell green and there's a big Sainsbury's there too.

Bluewater is 20 miles from Sydenham you're 5 miles from Costco and purely way, ikea etc. You're close to a lot of things if you drive.. any questions Fire away!

[Edited by MNHQ to remove identifying information]

Sorry I'd thought you were buying the place but I see now that you didn't say that.

How long do you have to decide? Can you spend some time there this weekend?

I moved from inner city London flat to the suburbs in 2018. I miss being so central, having such brilliant public transport on my doorstep, getting around so easily.

But it's so lovely having a garden, nearby green space, cleaner air, and dd has her own room.

We don't have a car and it's a pain having less good public transport but it's quickly become the new normal.

I'd move, I think the space will be amazing and make your lives easier now and in the future. Even though it might feel like it it's not the middle of nowhere at all and you'll be able to build a great life there with a bit of effort. Your kids teen years, ability to revise etc and relationships with each other, you and friends are affected by lack of privacy and space.

So to answer a few questions...

Kids don’t really want to leave the area/schools but yes would like the house I’m sure

Not in elephant and castle no. In a nice area. Family close by too.

As someone mentioned, the parks and the greenery are a big plus but realistically my oldest has already outgrown this and youngest has a few more years at most. At least in zone 1 they have everything on their doorstep. I do like the quiet life, but that’s from a visitor perspective. I’ve only ever lived in zone 1.

I would really rather not give up my bedroom but it is an option to consider. If we don’t move to the house we will move to a 3 bed flat locally, just not sure when.

It’s not that I couldn’t find a new job, it’s more the schools. Also, when I said about train fare, I didn’t mean I’m completely poor, but could not/would not pay for trains everyday to take the kids to school. They don’t travel for free on trains, it would cost a fortune.

Also would not give up my car.
I don’t think I’m unreasonable for having a car in zone 1. I don’t use it during the week apart from shopping occasionally, but I do need it for when I leave zone 1 and go to other places days out ect.

I think the main thing is not wanting to move the kids schools, and them not wanting to either.
Sydenham hill itself seems nice and Not too far I’d never see friends ect. But I couldn’t do over an hour bus commute to get the kids to school and my oldest obviously travels alone and has an 8.5 hour school day. Including travel time they’d be out the house for 11 hours and never be able to hang out with friends after school because of getting back.

Whilst this house might not be the one, I think the current bedroom situation in your flat is a problem. No teen girl wants to share with her brother. So keep looking a bit closer

I don’t live in Sydenham hill but I do live very close by. It’s a lot more villagey feeling out here, I love it. There’s all the benefit of the city but much more affordable to live and with a much cosier feel.

It does depend how intent the children are at staying at their schools, the schools you’d want them in here, and how much you like to see your local family.

I’ve lived in Sydenham for 5 years (moved out in Dec). Sydenham Hill is a bit isolated but has some lovey houses...
Transport links are much better from Sydenham station.

I live around the area and absolutely love it, however we don't have kids with their roots in zone one so there would never be any contrast.

Now we're here I can't imagine living anywhere else.

I don't understand why you even put a post up on Mumsnet about it when you won't consider changing your dc schools. Sydenham Hill is nowhere near their schools ... so this house isn't up for consideration.

I would 100% take a house in Sydenham Hill over a flat on Zone 1. The only thing that would give me pause is the children's schools.

@ChicChicChicChiclana I guess I’m trying to thrash it out with myself and it’s easier for me to write it down. I sort of wish I could change their schools. But there’s no guarantees I’d get a good school for them, and there’s certainly a good chance they won’t cope well.

Don’t suppose anybody knows the chances of getting them into any of the good schools mid year? I’m assuming they would all have waiting lists.