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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not see all DD's teachers at parents night?

66 replies

strictlymomdancing · 15/01/2020 17:46

DD has her first high school parents night coming up and appointments are available to book online.

I'm not sure whether to see all her teachers, or just what I consider to be important ones. I don't remember my parents going to see my eg PE teacher or RE teacher because not only did I dislike the subjects, I also had no intention of using these subjects or carrying them on.

I intend to speak to her maths, english, language, social subjects, business and science teachers. Also music as she's really good at that. Not so sure about Art - she likes it but probably will never use it. Same with home economics and technical studies.

Do any other parents avoid seeing particular teachers?

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 15/01/2020 17:48

We could only chose 7

Is there a limit?

Original poster
strictlymomdancing · 15/01/2020 17:49

I should also add that I've been "that" person at parents nights where no one came to my table. I wasn't a teacher though. I did see a lot of subjects with teachers sat looking bored so I don't think its just me.

OP posts:
Original poster
strictlymomdancing · 15/01/2020 17:49

I don't think there is a limit, no.

We're in Scotland.

OP posts:
BeBraveAndBeKind · 15/01/2020 17:51

Nope. I never see PE and generally don't see the less important subjects either.

dementedpixie · 15/01/2020 17:51

I wouldn't go to the subjects they arent interested in. I never went to PE or RE or home Economics or tech.

dementedpixie · 15/01/2020 17:53

Lucky you being able to book online. Ours still uses a bit of paper and a pen (that dd always manages to misplace so we have to guess which appointment is at what time)

berlinbabylon · 15/01/2020 17:54

I can't remember what I did in the very early years of secondary school (I may not have gone at all as I had other contact with teachers) but in year 9 I only went to see the teachers of the core subjects and the subjects ds wanted to do as options. And I think in year 11 I went to see the teachers of the subjects he was considering at A level plus core subjects (which was more or less everyone, to be fair).

Selfsettling3 · 15/01/2020 17:54

Do you get a report before parents’ evening?

Original poster
strictlymomdancing · 15/01/2020 17:56

yes we got the report in October and parents night is 4th Feb I think

OP posts:
MAFIL · 15/01/2020 17:57

I have never seen everyone. Generally just the core subjects plus those that the relevant child was interested in taking further. My youngest is in year 9 now and this year I will only see the teachers of the subjects he knows he definitely will be taking for GCSE. No point in wasting our time, or the teachers' time by seeing subjects he will be dropping in a few months. Some people do see them all, especially in year 7, but unless your child has a particular interest in a non core subject or there is a problem in that class, I don't think it is of any value really.

sleepyhead · 15/01/2020 17:57

Ds1 has to book his own appointments and there are always teachers who fill up really fast so we don't get in to see them (so he says... Hmm).

This time, he'd lost his list of appointments by the night so I had to dash around trying to find out when we were meant to be being seen - we saw all the major ones (including one that he said was "full") and quite often got to see them a bit early (he'd managed to book one slot a full hour after all the others).

Utter chaos, but I got a decent flavour of how he was doing (well behaved, bright, completely disorganised - no surprises there) and I don't think it mattered too much that we didn't get to see the odd subject.

PrettyPity · 15/01/2020 17:58

I would make the effort. Some subjects are life skills, if you're not bothered, will your child bother with these lessons?

Nojeansplease · 15/01/2020 17:58

I dunno, id wanna know how my kids are doing in everything
I think it’s good to get feedback on the things they’re not good or don’t like too, says a lot about their character, even if you don’t care about their grades.

You’ve also said these are the ones you consider to be important
What ones does she consider to be important? What if she’s working really hard in a class but you don’t care about it so she doesn’t get that proud moment when she gets good feedback from the teacher? Or what if she’s having a hard time in a subject and needs a bit of extra help? - that would be good to know about If only for her self esteem, if they’re not subjects you care about.

Or perhaps there are social issues etc
good to have that flagged surely?

If you’re not going to go to them all I’d check in with her and make sure you’re not missing something.

lotusbell · 15/01/2020 17:59

I'm coming up to.my second secondary school parents evening - they leave the kids to speak to the teachers and book a 5 minute slot, so I'll have to give my son a list of which subjects I want to see and try and book them close together I don't want to see my first one at 4.45 then wait around to see another at 5.30! I missed out RE, Drama and Product Design last time as they are carousel subjects and saw Maths, English, Science etc. To be honest, it worked out ok but it is a bit chaotic!

eggofmantumbi · 15/01/2020 18:00

As a secondary teacher of day no- only see the subjects that you want to (except if there are prior issues with the other subjects)

dementedpixie · 15/01/2020 18:00

There often arent enough slots for all the pupils to see the teacher. One year i only managed to see 3 or 4 teachers.

eggofmantumbi · 15/01/2020 18:00

*I'd say

Not of day!

TwoHeadedYellowBelliedHoleDig · 15/01/2020 18:01

Our DC are in charge of making the appointments. They are 10 minutes slots - imagine mass speed dating. You sit down, you get your time, someone rings a bell, you move onto the next.

DC1 will only book 2-3 appointments, of teachers guaranteed to speak well of him.
DC2 will book a selection, but she's not going to beg a teacher for an appointment so usually end up with 5-6. All core subjects.
DC3 books one for every ten minute slot. No gaps. He'll hang around outside classrooms to get appointments. He's not athletic but we've got to see the PE teacher. And drama. And RE. He'd get one with PSHE if he could. It's a two hour hell hole of running from one end of the hall to another and by the end I've forgotten who was who and definitely what they've said.

WendyMoiraAngelaDarling · 15/01/2020 18:04

Make sure you're there early. The quests for English, maths and science were ridiculous. We ended up seeing others because they were the only ones we could get to.

Copperleaves · 15/01/2020 18:24

I think it's really important to see how your dc performs in a subject they are less interested in. No point in being a star in maths but a little madam in home ec because it doesn't appeal to him.

dementedpixie · 15/01/2020 18:36

No point in going to see a particular teacher if they are going to drop that subject anyway

TeenPlusTwenties · 15/01/2020 18:36

I've never seen a PE or Music or Art teacher.
I know they behave from the 'attitude' level in the report.

y7 I saw as many academic as I could plus others of interest
y8 similar
y9 only those subjects considering for GCSE
y10 as many as possible (but not non examined ones)
y11 prioritise subjects with issues

We get 5 minutes.
That is enough for 2 or 3 focussed questions/comments only, I make a list before I go in discussion with DD.
e.g.

  • finds some behaviour disrupting
  • would she pass this if she selected it for GCSE
  • are you thinking foundation or higher tier
  • struggling with practicals, any advice
Rosebel · 15/01/2020 18:44

Didn't bother with PE, art, music or tech with my eldest. She's in Y9 now with parents evening tomorrow and I have booked in with the core subjects and her chosen subjects for next year.
I'll probably do the same for my youngest who s in Y7 when she has parents evening. No point going to see teachers about a subject they're not interested in.

samlovesdilys · 15/01/2020 18:50

From a teachers point of view - we would like to see as many as possible, I love to be able to compliment those who work well, unpick with those who are struggling as to why, and get a better sense of the student as a person...last parents evening I managed to see 32 sets of 6th firm parents in one session, I was shattered by the end but TOTALLY worth it. Please see as many as you can...and be honest, if she doesn't enjoy it, can she explain to the teacher why?? They may be able to make changes...

Aragog · 15/01/2020 18:54

Even when I taught secondary I found most parent's evenings somewhat pointless, especially at Key Stage 3. The parents of the pupils you need to see most don't come, the ones you have no issues with and can really only just say 'well done, keep it up' all show up.

When dd was in y7 we say them all - it was something like 14 teachers/subjects. Horrendous! In year 8 I was ill. DD was also coming down with the same bug and dd was just getting over it. We turned up but I only managed a couple before we just headed home. Nothing bad happened by missing the appointments!