Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not see all DD's teachers at parents night?

66 replies

strictlymomdancing · 15/01/2020 17:46

DD has her first high school parents night coming up and appointments are available to book online.

I'm not sure whether to see all her teachers, or just what I consider to be important ones. I don't remember my parents going to see my eg PE teacher or RE teacher because not only did I dislike the subjects, I also had no intention of using these subjects or carrying them on.

I intend to speak to her maths, english, language, social subjects, business and science teachers. Also music as she's really good at that. Not so sure about Art - she likes it but probably will never use it. Same with home economics and technical studies.

Do any other parents avoid seeing particular teachers?

OP posts:
Original poster
strictlymomdancing · 15/01/2020 19:36

interesting answers from both sides, thank you. some good points.

I'm definitely going to question her French teacher on why she (apparently) reads out everyone's test scores. DD gets upset by it.

She passes each test but this makes her very self conscious and she is now determined to drop languages as soon as she can and she's only half way through her first year Sad Angry

OP posts:
PatMustardsBigTool · 15/01/2020 20:07

Does the teacher read out their scores, or does the teacher get the students to say their score, eg from a class vocab test, so they can be recorded in the mark book? If it's the latter then that is pretty standard, however I always give my students the choice to tell me their score in private.

lanthanum · 15/01/2020 21:58

I actually found PE and art the most useful in year 7 - DD is academic and there were no surprises from the classroom subjects. DD had given us the impression she made very little effort in PE, and said she was rubbish at art, but the PE teacher assured us that she does try, whatever she might like us to think, and the art teacher proudly showed us some of her work which she thought was good.

manicinsomniac · 15/01/2020 22:40

I'm a performing arts teacher and I'm always (pleasantly) surprised by how many people do come and see me.

For our Y7 and 8 all subjects are examined/assessed and count for their final exam results (prep school bacalaureate) so I do expect to see most parents in those year groups. But I am always less bored than I expect to be at the parent nights of the younger year groups. Probably see around 60-70% of parents. We do put a lot of emphasis on Arts and Sport though.

The best ones are the parents who openly say that they have nothing to say or ask and that their child doesn't really enjoy or aspire to anything in the performance arts but that they felt sorry for me so have come to say hello! Grin

manicinsomniac · 15/01/2020 22:43

Sorry, didn't really answer the question - basically no, YANBU. Those of us who don't teach core subjects know we can't compete don't expect every parent to come and see us by any means. See what you need/want to see.

Oh, and ask your child. Sometimes they have some surprising inclusions on the list of teachers they'd like you to talk to.

Original poster
strictlymomdancing · 16/01/2020 00:13

No, she reads out everyone's scores to the class apparently.

OP posts:
PhilCornwall1 · 16/01/2020 05:40

@strictlymomdancing

We don't see them all it's like speed dating!

We don't bother with drama, PE, languages, as our son won't be doing those as GCSEs. We just concentrate on the core subjects and a couple of others.

For the amount of time you get allotted, it's hardly bloody worth it then to be honest.

Ishotmrburns · 16/01/2020 06:15

I think your plan of just seeing the subjects that you deem important is perfectly fine. You should know your child's interests, strengths and weaknesses/problem areas so I would go off that.

PhilCornwall1 · 16/01/2020 06:33

I dunno, id wanna know how my kids are doing in everything

At my sons school, there wouldn't be enough time to see every teacher. If he's not going to choose to take a subject forward, I'm not worried about progress, as it's less important than the ones he will take forward.

trotesio · 16/01/2020 06:39

I should have become a PE teacher.

Would have fewer parents to see at parents evening it seems Grin

Damntheman · 16/01/2020 08:29

My parents used to see them all when I was in school. My kid only has one teacher at the moment (he's 6 and in school in Scandinavia) But I would want to speak to them all. It's not just about the subject and if DC has an interest or plans to go further. You'll get a better picture of how your child copes/behaves in school if you listen to all the teachers. I'd want to know how my child behaved in a class they weren't that invested in, how their social skills are etc. You won't get that from only speaking to a few.

I get it, it's a lot of people to talk to. The system was really shitty when I was a teenager (only 10 mins per teacher is not enough time to get a full picture), but the evening is already taken up with this so you might as well get the most out of it possible.

Damntheman · 16/01/2020 08:31

The French teacher though OP, wow wtf! I would have HATED that at school. Reading out loud all the test scores that's horrendous. Those poor kids who underperform. What a nasty shaming tactic that is.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 16/01/2020 08:37

If it's an online system you'll be lucky to get the appointments you want in S1, ime.

I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but you have to log on and be ready to pounce whenever the online booking opens. And check your log-in works. I was a bit laissez-faire (yes, I logged on around 615 when the booking opened at 6) and could only get two appointments - one at 6 and one at 730! I ended up having to go through Guidance to see anyone and I think they only helped me out because DS has SN.

PhilCornwall1 · 16/01/2020 08:38

Reading out loud all the test scores that's horrendous. Those poor kids who underperform. What a nasty shaming tactic that is.

Was a standard thing back when I was at school (80s), it just happened and we had to get in with it to be honest.

LemonBreeland · 16/01/2020 08:42

I have never seen all teachers in S1, there are just too many subjects to actually fit them all in without being there for hours. I tried to see as many as possible, but didn't bother with subjects I knew they wouldn't choose for S2.

ShanghaiDiva · 16/01/2020 08:44

I tend not to go at all and assume if there was an issue the school would contact me.
Dd got her report today - all fine so I won't be going to parents' evening.
All of her homework results - homework set, due date and grade achieved can be accessed via parents' area of school website and I check this on a weekly basis and therefore feel I have a good understanding of what's going on and how she is performing,

IHeartKingThistle · 16/01/2020 08:54

I teach English. I have Year 7 parents' evening tonight and I won't draw breath for over 3 hours. It's insane.

Please be patient, parents - I want to talk
about your child but I cannot guarantee I'll hit the exact 5 minute window you booked...

thejollyroger · 16/01/2020 09:02

I think you should try to see them all. Dismissing subjects she doesn’t like and not seeing them because she doesn’t intend to take them on is implicitly giving her licence not to try in those lessons, which can’t help her attainment.

Obviously you should prioritise the core subjects.

Is she Year 7? I would add that it’s very early to be dismissing subjects like this.

thejollyroger · 16/01/2020 09:03

I'm definitely going to question her French teacher on why she (apparently) reads out everyone's test scores. DD gets upset by it.

Not the time or the place, IMO.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 16/01/2020 09:21

Our school listed some teachers who had lots of classes for the yeargroup and said only to book them if you had a specific concern. So I used them to cut down the number. The two teachers (maths and tech) cancellled due to illness. So I think you can prioritise who to see.

LemonBreeland · 16/01/2020 09:21

thejollyroger the OP is in Scotland, her child Is the equivalent of Y7 but in a lot of Scottish schools children have to choose subjects for their second year, this means it's not actually too soon to think about dismissing subjects.

thejollyroger · 16/01/2020 09:24

LemonBreeland

I didn’t know that. Still, it’s a year of studying and learning how to learn in secondary school. In my view it’s better for the child to be encouraged to do their best in everything, so they learn a solid work ethic and respect for education. That tends to work better, in my experience.

SnowsInWater · 16/01/2020 09:27

I see them all if I can but if not I will prioritise the academic subjects and subjects DD is most interested in. We are lucky though as we can basically ask for a meeting with any teacher any time we like (private) though I try not to take advantage unless I have a pressing issue. The teachers go above and beyond so I really don't want to take the piss.

MAFIL · 16/01/2020 13:20

But thejollyroger not seeing a teacher at parents evening doesn't necessarily mean that you don't expect your child to try or to behave in those classes, merely that you are prioritising limited time. Surely that is also a valuable skill and life lesson?
I don't mind admitting that I told my son that I agreed with his strategy of spending more time on revising for the subjects that he wants to take for GCSE in his current set of school exams. It would be stupid to devote an equal amount of time to music and maths when he will never do another music lesson in his life after this summer and maths is key to his future. But if his report said that he was messing about and being disruptive in music then he would be in big trouble, and whilst I wouldn't generally see his music teacher at parents evening I would if I knew there was an issue.Its not like parents evening is the only way schools communicate with parents after all. There shouldn't really be any surprise revelations at parents evening.
I'm also amazed by those who get "only" 10 minutes per teacher. We get 3 I think, and a bit more in 6th form. Even then I've never run out of time. If we got 10 mins I think I'd be asking where the teacher was going in holiday this year. 10 mins is a very long time to talk non stop.

dementedpixie · 16/01/2020 13:27

Ours give 5 minute slots. There arent always enough slots for the number of pupils. I will prioritise the ones the kids are going to continue to exam level.