Why don’t my friends reply to my text messages?

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

This is fairly lighthearted but I am interested...

Friend A texts me to ask if I’d like to meet up. I say yes let me know when you’re free. She doesn’t reply. I text a week later to ask how she is. She doesn’t reply. Another week later she says sorry she hasn’t been in touch.

Same friend: Are you free to meet weekend of X? Me: Yes, currently no plans. When exactly did you have in mind? Friend: Haven’t heard from her since November.

Friend B. I emailed wishing happy new year, updating her on my life (with reason) and saying it’d be good to catch up. This after I texted her months ago and didn’t hear from her. She replied discussing life too and then suggested we meet up on X date. I agreed and suggested a time and place and asked if this works for her. No reply. That was a week ago and meet up is next week but I’m not convinced she will get back to me.

Sometimes I can take time to reply to messages but I am usually quite quick and make an effort if it is to confirm plans.

It can’t be that they're all so busy! Are they just not that into me?? Friend A posts on Facebook daily so she should have time to send a text...

I have got to a point where I am not chasing people and I haven’t bothered texting Friend A again but I gave her a lot of leeway as I know she’d had a tough year. However so have I and I still manage to think of her...

I completely agree with you and you hit the nail on the head that many of us are busy but make time for people that matter. We shouldn’t make time for those who don’t make time for us!

Agreed, as a PP said, a relationship (whether friend or partner) should be a '2 way street', at least some of the time!

To the pps who admit doing this, now you know how it makes people feel, if you really value those friends, make the effort to reply. There really is no good reason to treat your friends like that. It takes very little time and effort and will show your friends that you do actually care about them.

SameOldHorrorStory,
Obviously if someone said are you able to meet at 5pm today and the other person said yes and then they just stopped replying and didn't show up, that would be rude
Well, that is exactly what the OP (and some of us on here) are talking about. She gives the examples of a suggestion of a particular weekend and of a specific date, after which her 'friends' stopped replying.

I have a friend like this. Our group meet ups of 4 almost always involve me and only me having to book flights. Guaranteed that once our group is 99% settled on a date, I will message the group asking for the final ok for the date from so I can go ahead and book flights. 2 friends will immediately say go ahead and book. 3rd friend- silence for days until I have to message her again or call. Always happens. Even if we have all been messaging each other for an hour sorting out the meet up. As soon as I ask for the final ok so I can book flights she reads my message and leaves the chat. I don’t know what it is. A control thing?

So does third friend end up going @TheKrakening3? I’d feel like not booking for her! It’s so frustrating isn’t

I really think a lot of people are just very self absorbed

Yes, I think I'd say, if I don't get confirmation from anyone within the hour, they'll be left out, because the availability might change if it's left any longer.

If she missed out on going, I'm sure she'll reply quickly next time @TheKrakening3.

@TheKrakening3 - make it clear on the group if you don't here back from people for the final okay that evening you won't be booking them a place.

So the above post was on the wrong thread obviously but my friends are still a bit rubbish 😬

I’m resolving not to make too much effort though

On the plus side, I texted a friend who I consider to be my closest friend but who lives far away, invited me to visit and stay

I’m making an effort with my real friends 😃

Good on ya Bunny!

Yes my real friends who ive known many years, live far away too..
Think i'll take a leaf out of your book, and ring them over the weekend!..

I have to see local friend who hasn't replied since early Nov soon, just me and her due to work circumstances, so that'll be awkward! I'm going to be conveniently waaay too busy for much conversation i think!!

Good plan! @Jellykat

Ugh I have a friend like this .. let's meet, let me know when. The thing is I have to arrange it or invite her to mine. She's been over to my house the past 3 times or we've been out somewhere. I have been to her house a few times in the past, but she's obviously not Keen on inviting me again now. So I leave it and I get another let's meet up, but no dates or invite or even suggestion on where. It's draining I can't be bothered with the we get together for a catch up never never crew.

@BunnytheBlueWhale so sorry to read about your loss.

@teethgrindwind Thank you. And yes really it’s not worth the bother with these people

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread, but there is a saying that goes 'Stop texting first and find out how many dead plants you've been watering'.
Unfortunately very true in my case, which has whittled me down to just one friend who only wants me because of what I can do for her, It's a very sorry state of affairs but at the rate of how people use other people for favours or attention nowadays i'm not suprised how genuine friendships seem to have fizzled into dust in 2020. Seems to be a dog eat dog type of world. Very lonely too for people who just want a genuine connection with someone, friends or otherwise

Stop texting first and find out how many dead plants you've been watering

Im sorry you’ve struggled with something similar. I’m at that point to be honest. I want to have friends but I don’t want friends who don’t seem to make any effort to see me.

I need to make new friends / focus on the ones who are there for me