Don’t want Mother to know about AD’s

[GrannyBags]

I’ve been on anti depressants for a while. My DM doesn’t know and I don’t want her to. At Easter we are all going to my parents villa in Spain. I know she will do some snooping when we are out. I thought about taking the tablets out of the packaging but worried I might get stopped at customs. Last night I had a whole plan worked out involving taking a spare empty container and decanting them when we get there. My husband thinks I’ve lost the plot. AIBU?

Padlocked box - that will drive her mad and she can hardly ask what it is, as that means owning up to having snooped.
But I wouldn't be going away with her in the first place.

@BackOnceAgainWithATinselHalo and @Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe
Thanks for your posts. I know that most people think I’m being ridiculous, I would probably think the same if I saw it posted by someone else. But being told you are never good enough all your childhood has a deep effect and one that isn’t quickly overcome. One day we will be able to stand strong together, but not yet. I fear if we do it too soon we will not be able to see it through.

Tampon box.

I fear if we do it too soon we will not be able to see it through
it's good to have a strategy when dealing with the batshit-cray-cray people
(they tend NOT to be good strategists)

You should have a look at the Stately Homes thread on the Relationships board. You're not alone in having that sort of mother...

Have now had chance to read through all your posts. Thanks for the practical advice. Mental Health issues are hard to understand if you don’t suffer from them so thanks to the people who understood why I can’t stand up to her - yet.

Unzip the lining of the suitcase and tape them in there once you get there. Then padlock the suitcase xx

Surely you and your DB can meet up for the sake of the children, without involving your mother? She sounds like a fucking nightmare.

As someone who has suffered for many years due to their MH, I totally get why you can’t stand up to her yet, but purposely putting yourself in a position where she can control things again and pry into your private life isn’t a wise move.

It’s done now so the best thing you can do is get a decent lock for your suitcase and keep the tablets in there when you’ve done taking one.

Your idea of a spare container is good. Hardly any hassle and if will make you feel at ease then do it.

Or just keep them in the zip compartment of your handbag.

Just leave them in your suitcase and lock it surely? She can't snoop on a locked case.

Sorry your mother is such a shitbag OP!

They're safest hidden on you, so in a bum bag, or maybe a cash belt that you can wear under clothing. Also you can get belts made to hide cash in. How many pills will you need to take? If it's one a day, one of these solutions may work. Alternatively, you could hide them in your room in your dirty underwear bag!

Trying to say no to mother is half the problem. We have done this trip for a couple of years so it is ‘expected’ now. Plus, she always suggests it to the children first so they get excited and I don’t want to have to explain how manipulative she is, not yet.

I hope you have a good plan GrannyBags to shut this problem down

@GrannyBags is your husband going with you? Could you put the tablets you need in a weekly pill box and have them in his luggage? Surely she wouldn't be so rude as to physically go through his belongings?

You tell her this year that next year you, DH and the kids are doing x instead.

Anti depressants are part of the answer but it might be very beneficial to have counseling. What a nightmare.

Both my DB and I are having therapy. At the moment we can not talk to each other about how we feel, but our DH/DW are very helpful in communicating with each other and with us. It is very much a work in progress, but we are so much further on than we were a few years ago.