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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Moral dilemma

153 replies

gonegirl2 · 15/01/2020 09:26

Not as dramatic as the title makes out but no idea how else to describe it.

I ordered a parcel online around christmas for a luxury candle retailing £48 for my aunt's birthday (well known brand). The candle ended up getting lost in transit so another was reordered and arrived last week. Today I have had an email to say my parcel will arrive today, it has the same tracking number as my original order, so I'm guessing the delivery company found the original parcel and are now delivering it today.

This is something I would love for myself, so much so that I almost bought a second for myself but realised I can't justify spending that sort of money on myself. I already know I can't handle the guilt and will be phoning the company to let them know the original order has arrived (though secretly really hoping they'll let me keep it!). DH, DM and friends I have spoken to think I'm crazy to tell them and told me to keep it! Don't think my conscience will allow it, I'm such a goody two shoes that I'm even convinced the police will be knocking on my door if I did Confused

I guess what I'm asking is what would you do?

OP posts:
Frenchw1fe · 15/01/2020 10:05

I would contact the company.
They'll probably say keep it.
Can't believe the amount of thieves on here.
How would you feel if you dropped your purse and someone kept it? Theft is theft.

eddielizzard · 15/01/2020 10:06

Contact them and tell them. They may well say you can keep it. I have done this in the past and one company told me to keep it, the other charged me half price. You might have gotten the candle 'for free', but the cost of this is built into the price (insurance) so ultimately we all pay.

myfuckingfreezer · 15/01/2020 10:06

Keep it! Why wouldn’t you?

Because it's theft? Would you walk into the store and steal the candle too?

cailingaelach · 15/01/2020 10:12

Keep it.

Medievalist · 15/01/2020 10:13

Those saying 'keep it' - how would you feel about a company mistakenly charging you twice for something and not letting you know? If they just kept quiet about it? Or does honesty only work one way?

I really judge people who would do this sort of thing/bump up their insurance claim/keep quiet if they're undercharged or given too much change in a shop etc etc etc

CoffeeBeansGalore · 15/01/2020 10:15

Wait and see if anything actually turns up. It could be yet another error. If you get a 2nd candle, then call the company & tell them. The original problem was not your fault & they may tell you to keep it as it will be cheaper than them arranging a courier collection. You then

CoffeeBeansGalore · 15/01/2020 10:16

Sorry posted too soon. You then have a clear conscience (& hopefully a nice candle for you!)

forgivemeimnew · 15/01/2020 10:17

Just because the delivery has updated doesn’t mean it will actually be delivered, I’ve had that before.
Assuming it is delivered, I would contact the company and let them know (because like you I am a worrier and it just wouldn’t feel right). If your luck is in they will let you keep it anyway as a kind of compensation and then you can enjoy it guilt free Wink

JacquesHammer · 15/01/2020 10:19

If the second candle is delivered of course you contact the company.

It’s not a dilemma moral or otherwise Confused the correct course of action is obvious.

Smellbow · 15/01/2020 10:19

I wouldn't be able to handle the guilt either. I stole a pink crayon in primary and I still think about it now (in my 40s) Grin

But if you call them they'll probably tell you to keep it, so the candle won't release the stench of guilt every time you light it. Wink

Dontdisturbmenow · 15/01/2020 10:20

I'm totally gosmacked at the number of responses to say to keep it. There are threads of people complaining that they can't get a refund for items they want to return. I expect they are getting the same attitude back from the companies.

Amazing how people expect to be treated fairly but have no moral qualms at stealing, just because it's a company.

What a sad reflection of what our society is becoming!

redsquirrl · 15/01/2020 10:20

Wait until you actually have 2 before doing anything!

MrsBethel · 15/01/2020 10:25

If it arrives, I'd ping them a quick email to let them know. Fair's fair.

I wouldn't spend any money sending it back, though. They should really get it collected if they want it back, though as I'm a softy I would happily drop it off at the local hermes point for them.

LochJessMonster · 15/01/2020 10:27

Those saying 'keep it' - how would you feel about a company mistakenly charging you twice for something and not letting you know? If they just kept quiet about it? Or does honesty only work one way?

This.

thedancingbear · 15/01/2020 10:30

Keep it! Why wouldn’t you?

BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUCKING YOURS.

FenellaVelour · 15/01/2020 10:32

This happened to me with a £450 heater, of course I didn’t keep it.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/01/2020 10:32

Have a company charged you twice and let you know? Always seems to be my responsibility to run my own checks on my finances and chase sky, npower and every other bloody company that takes too much money, and keep me on hold for 30mins + to resolve the situation.

AryaStarkWolf · 15/01/2020 10:33

I'd keep it.

sweetsaltypopcorn · 15/01/2020 10:33

I'd keep it.

FattyCutty · 15/01/2020 10:34

Oh OP if you are such a goody 2 shoes keeping it wouldn't even have crossed your mind. If 2 candles arrive do the honest thing and let them know. Just think if you keep it every time you light it, it will be the scent of GUILT wafting through the room Grin

BlackCatSleeping · 15/01/2020 10:34

If it’s Amazon, I’d keep it and not feel at all guilty. If it was from a small independent shop, I’d contact them.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 15/01/2020 10:34

I'd contact them, partly because it's the right thing to do but also because I wouldn't want there to be a black mark against my name (as it were) in case the same thing happens in the future.

A few years ago I bought a carpet cleaner in the Vax sale for less that half price. A couple of days after it was delivered (to work) the courier popped his head into my office as he went past to say he'd left the second one at reception. I thought he was joking but no, there really was another one for me. Seems that double orders had gone through for many people.

I did ring, and the guy I spoke to was surprised by my honesty (I don't think they'd had many own up to it), but did arrange for it to be picked up. I could have sold it and made a good few hundred quid, (as I suspect many did) but couldn't have lived with myself.

AdobeWanKenobi · 15/01/2020 10:35

I do love how MN always try and dress up theft like this as a 'Moral Dilemma'.

Baileys4two · 15/01/2020 10:35

I would call them and let them know it's turned up. Anything else would be dishonest. They may ask you to return it or they may let you keep it, but at least you'll be able to sleep soundly knowing your conscience is clear.

bibliomania · 15/01/2020 10:35

In your shoes, I'd call the company but they might say to just keep it anyway - not worth the expense of a courier for them. You definitely shouldn't have to return it at your own expense.

I've twice ended up with duplicates that I kept, although less enviably, they were a drawstring bag with school logo plus a council rubbish bin.

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