To not make them revise?

[PeopleareBU]

For their gsces. I nag but they dont.

If you are their parent YABU

If you are their teacher YANBU

Who are they?

I can’t understand why any parent wouldn’t be using every tool I need their kitbag to help their children achieve their potential.

We didn't. We provided the right environment for them to put in as much effort as they were willing. And that they had to take ownership of the results if they reflected their effort.

They had time, space, help, encouragement, refreshments, warmth, lighting, books, etc. Beyond that, I'm not sure how we could 'make' them revise.

As a parent I think that you have to if you have an interest in their futures. I get that they’re not on board but you have to keep impressing the importance of education on them. If they do badly or discover they haven’t got what they need to do what they want it’s you they’ll turn to for guidance and support. You have to keep up the appearance of giving a shit even when it’s completely wasted on them.

There’s two ways it’ll go - they’ll pass by coasting in which case you have to graciously be pleased for them or they’ll do badly in which case you have to swallow the ‘I told you so’s’ and be ready to make a plan with them.

You can't force them however I would keep on how important it is.
I never revised. No matter how much my parents nagged. Or whatever.. I got all my grades.
Ds is one who no matter what will. Not Do.
Homework. I've sat with him.. Removed luxuries. Grounded him and everything and he refuses point blank. I just notified the school. Awaiting responses about that

You can only lead a horse to water

All you can do is encourage them to revise, remind them what would happen if they don’t but at the end of the day, you can’t literally force them to do it.

Rather than nagging, support them by testing them on stuff etc. Otherwise you're just sending them to their room you aren't engaging their brains.

I didn't revise for my GCSEs (actually this was before GCSEs - mix of O levels and 16+) and I got mostly Bs when I was expecting all As.

It was such a shock I've worked my arse off for every exam I've taken since then. So in a way it was very effective.

How do make someone revise?

I never revised and am in a decent profession. Nagging won’t motivate in itself so I guess you’d be wasting your breath anyway.

It’s a tough one.
Obviously make sure that they know the importance of why they need to revise but you can’t physically make them revise.
It needs to come from them. Bullying them won’t help and will create tensions.

As a previous poster said, “You can lead a horse to water...”

I don't- either they revise or don't and their grades will reflect that - it's an important life lesson

YABU. GCSE results shape their entire lives. They won’t be able to study at A level without decent GCSE results so in turn, won’t be able to get into university. Force them to study, remove all luxuries until they bloody do.

You can't make anyone revise, but you can support, learn revision techniques together, research and get them the tools they need (the best revision guides, notepads, folders, pens), make sure they have a good tidy/distraction free space to revise, get past papers printed, help them devise a timetable, encourage and reward them. Offer to mark past papers, offer to quiz them, listen to their French talking, take an interest.

Nagging Is counter productive if a child is acting up because they are struggling, overwhelmed, need some direction or just don't know where to start so don't see the point.

I’m glad you asked this! It feels so draining to “make them”

By GCSE age they're old enough to make their choices and live with the consequences. All parents can do is provide a suitable environment and be there to help or sound off to if asked.

The good thing about education is you can always come back to it so if they make bad choices now they'll have second, third, tenth chances.

Remove privileges and pocket money if they don't revise and give positive support and encouragement. If they still don't then they will have to live with the consequences but at least you've tried.

Mine are now 18 and doing A Levels. Whilst I encouraged them to revise for GCSEs and told them how important it is etc I didn't make them revise. The desire to study has to come from within and what they want to do, I didn't want to constantly nag and fall out with them. I have been even more hands off with A Levels - not much point me nagging and sitting with them etc only for them to go crazy when they get to Uni and not do any work. Best learn that no study = poor grades before they get to Uni!

Like someone upthread we provided the right environment, encouragement etc; you can't make anyone revise. We didn't reward results either; we did reward effort though. I think revoking privileges and pocket money is counterproductive.

@CherryPavlova, it's funny, I've always imagined your children were born fully grown managers/doctors/high flying professionals. They seem so hard working in all your descriptions that I cant possibly imagine them as naughty teens slacking off to go drinking with their mates in the park, over putting in some graft with their GCSEs.

@PeopleareBU, you can't 'make' them, but you can parent them and give them expectations. If they have aspirations, sit with them and go through what grades and qualifications it takes to achieve future jobs they might want to do. GCSEs are the gateway to their future earning potential, even the most basic jobs usually need a pass grade in maths and English. As long as they understand that, it's up to them to put in the effort.

You don’t get “second, third, tenth” chances without lagging significantly behind your peers, WeeSleek. That’s always going to be an issue.

I wasn't pushed to revise. Very little interest was taken at home which I think is a bad thing. I was lucky to be at a good school and still managed to do well on very little revision.

I'm a way off GCSEs with my DC but am dreading it. Nagging to get homework done is bad enough.

SquareAsABlock Oddly they were born as ordinary babies into a fairly ordinary family. They got to be where they were through hard work - theirs and ours. Never slacking off to go drinking at GCSE age as we wouldn’t have allowed it and they had activities they preferred. We would not have sanctioned hanging around in a park either. Luckily that was never an option to debate.
We set an expectation that they would reach adulthood with academic qualifications that enabled them to make a truly free choice over which career they would follow. If they had the best possible qualifications and still chose to be hairdresser or labourer, we would have supported that decision. Anything less than 4As at A level meant it wasn’t a truly free choice but a choice limited by their results. They didn’t disappoint and unsurprisingly, none chose to be a hairdresser or labourer.

The girls were fairly easily but our son was dragged screaming and kicking towards academic achievement. He wasn’t keen on studying anything he felt was irrelevant. He felt he knew what he wanted to do and should be allowed to scrape the minimum requirements. We felt differently.

Don’t nag, if you do they will think it is your responsibility and not take ownership themselves.

Talk to them, offer to quiz if they want, discuss a timetable and if they have everything they need. In the actual revision time keep to their regular day so get them up and dressed as normal etc,..