Should posters be discouraged from reporting rape and sexual assault?

[hatfullofmallow]

Posted here because I wasn't sure where to put it.

I've seen a few posts recently where posters disclosing rape and sexual assault have been discouraged from reporting to the police.

Now I don't think we should be pretending that this is going to be a wonderful experience and victims always get the right result but that shouldn't mean we're telling people there's no point reporting.

I really feel like that's counter productive and more people should be encouraged and supported to report their attackers.

I didn't want to derail threads where people were asking for support to discuss this.
AIBU?

I'll leave it here because clearly most don't feel the same and don't see a problem with it.

No. People DO see a huge problem with it. It is disgraceful that reporting a rape is such a traumatic and difficult thing for a woman to do and that a rape trial is likely to traumatise the woman and not end in a conviction. That is the problem - not women reporting or not reporting.

I wouldn’t report a rape or sexual assault. I have zero faith that my sexual preferences and sexual history wouldn’t be used against me.

It shouldn’t be this way, but reporting is often an extremely traumatic experience. The system needs to change.

@flirtygirl

I studied law too. I had a deep sense of needing to understand. I actually worked in criminal law for a time and came to realise how unjust the whole system is. I became a lawyer but not in criminal law.

Posted too soon.

I think properly understanding the flaws and evidential difficulties I’ve been able to see my own experience as more matter of fact and more objectively. I actually crossed paths with the defending barrister on a number of occasions in chambers at court but never really got over the feeling of how cruel I felt she had been.

I think people need to be aware of the reality that reporting will bring. That might seem like discouraging them, as it will be tough, but they need to know. Some people will be strong enough to deal with it, others won't.

I was raped and have a confession. I was told by the detective that me reporting it a year later speaks volumes. That I needed to accept that sexual boundaries have changed due to 50 shades of grey. That he stopped eventually so there was no crime committed and that if I got him convicted he would get a custodial sentence and it would ruin his life. I was grilled on why I didn't say no (I was orally raped) and when I said my body language clearly showed that. They disagreed. Even his text said he knew I didn't want to or I liked it but that wasn't adequate. They answered questions as I struggled to process them and clearly they wanted immediate answers and while I cried, this was too long a wait for them. I've no idea what was reported. They also spoke in 'code' saying this is a X (can't remember the words used but it was clearly code for something) I never heard from the police again. I felt I wasn't believed even with a confession. I went downhill mentally at that time.

I was also warned not to speak out publicly about this as I could be held to account for harassment or malicious communications so I was basically threatened by the police.

I have since found out that the CPS have a target of 60% to reach and only those with the most solid evidence will be even considered by the CPS. If they drop the cases with less change of reaching a verdict then they might meet their targets. Also the fact that if a person is found not guilty people assume the women are lying. We need to adopt the scottish verdicts of guilty, not guilty and not proven. This would allow us to have our day in court without the label being slapped on us of being liars.

I would never report another rape. I have since not reported the assumed harassment and property damage from the rapist - keyed car, dog mess smeared on my doorstep, funeral flowers arranged on my doorstep, as I dont think they will be interested.

However, I have contacted my MP to ask him to support the domestic abuse bill and explained why so all that I was subject to by the police has been passed onto my MP.

I have an experience of sexual assault under the threat of violence (not rape, but I probably just was lucky that someone was walking a dog at the same time). I reported it initially, but stopped collaborating after the first interview with the detective (not even the court hearing). I thought I sounded very fake myself, and that certainly no one would believe me. It was quite a strange feeling, similar to when you are not fully awake yet and your brain tries to assemble bits of info re who or where you are. I was asked whether it was someone I arranged a meeting with, or whether I intended to make money from it.
I often think whether my decision led to other victims. And I weirdly started doubting myself, as if I had false memories.

I have no idea how anyone can read the heartbreaking accounts of reporting rape on this thread and read the news and still think this:

Now I don't think we should be pretending that this is going to be a wonderful experience and victims always get the right result but that shouldn't mean we're telling people there's no point reporting.

these are real lives of real people who have been assaulted and raped. And you think we should all be encouraging them to go in for round 2?

Change the fucking system and then women might report their rapes.

I didn’t report it when I was raped (it was in a different country). I have no regrets.
Recently reported sexual misconduct/assault (not violent or extremely sexual but by HCP) to the place the HCP worked. Wish I hadn’t. They believed him over me and I had a breakdown.
I’ve stupidly reported to the police now. Haven’t heard much but I have no “off” button when I start.
Overall I’d say it’s pointless. It’s worse re-living it every time you have the tell the story and be scrutinised and judged.
I wish I thought things would change but they just won’t.

Christ there really is no hope for us

Street justice it is then