How do you honestly react to homeless people on the street?

[MrsBrentford]

I watched a documentary, can’t remember which, about homeless people and how they feel totally invisible, and inhuman and that made me feel shit.

Thought about my own behaviour and how I occasionally give money or food but more often than not I hurry past and avoid eye contact.

So this year I have decided to make eye contact, smile and say hello to every homeless person I see in town (and there seem to be an increasing amount in my town ).

Is anyone else guilty of this?

@IMOGEN wind your neck in. I used to volunteer at an homeless place, never once did I get touched or have anything sexist said to me. If anything they were extra respectful because they appreciated so much what we were doing for them. It was very humbling

There's always one

Well since I work with homeless people I think I have just a tiny bit of experience and training to draw on. And I stand by my advice to women posting on/ reading this thread that in any interaction with a strange man on the street they need to be mindful of their own safety and well being.

You’ve obviously not read the whole thread where posters have recounted stories of being verbally abused on the street or people going into shops, threatening staff and breaking things. Or beggars offered to escort women to the cash line.

I’m very pleased for you @Looobyloo, that you had such a positive experience of volunteering. I’m glad that all your service users were grateful and respectful. Of course you weren’t touched , although I didn’t even mention touching or sexism, I don’t know where you got that from.

The safety and well being of staff and volunteers is a top priority for charities/ organisations. But this thread isn’t about people who work in charities - it’s about individual MNers ( and sometimes with their children ) interacting with people begging on the streets. That’s totally different.

I don’t know anything about the people where you volunteered . But I can assure you that the vast majority of people who are street homeless in the Uk have very complex needs - addictions, mental health problems and experience of the criminal justice system. Sadly they can’t be fixed with a sandwich and coffee, as a PP rather naively suggested.

Lots of our guests have been banned from other services because they have assaulted staff. They are in and out of prison for violent offences. Some are Schedule 1 offenders and we have to keep them safe from other guests and arrange separate access to services and accommodation.

Perhaps you can understand that people who are mentally ill / in withdrawal / under the influence of alcohol or drugs can sometimes be volatile. They can be grateful for a cup of tea one minute and throwing a chair five mins later because someone said no to them or annoyed them. It’s not either/or, it’s both.

This is also true for the family and friends of addicts. The sad reality is that they are not fun to live with. Some rough sleepers have burnt out all their friends and family by the appalling way they have treated them, so they don’t even have anyone who will let them sofa surf. Some have been banned from half the hostels or facilities in their city, because they are violent to staff.

This is part of what we mean by complex needs. It’s not as easy as a cup of tea, it’s not even as easy as a tenancy.

It’s not as simple as “ if they had a decent family who cared, they wouldn’t be on the streets”.

I’m sorry if you find all this hard to accept but anyone who works in this field, any police, ambulance crew or NHS A& E / addictions staff will tell you it’s true.

Most street homeless people are great most of the time, but not always. I don’t want people reading this thread, particularly women, be guilt tripped into making poor decisions because of misplaced guilt fuelled by some of the posts on this thread.

I’d encourage people who want to help to contact a charity near them. The Simon Community in London are always looking for volunteers, who will get training and support and work as part of a team.

www.simoncommunity.org.uk/volunteering.html

There are similar projects in a town near you.

So firstly a huge thanks and respect for all posters who volunteer . I listen to and respect your opinions and the time you give . Enormously . Society is better for people like you .

Regarding Sadly they can’t be fixed with a sandwich and coffee, as a PP rather naively suggested

I do know that . However my stance is purely
To look at them and let them know I see them as a human being . That they exist . So I know my pound does fuck all . I know the issues are exactly as Imogen states . That many of them are damaged almost beyond fixing . Sadly

But I would rather stop , acknowledge them asa fellow human than just ignore them . I hope that makes sense

*@IMOGEN wind your neck in. I used to volunteer at an homeless place, never once did I get touched or have anything sexist said to me. If anything they were extra respectful because they appreciated so much what we were doing for them. It was very humbling

There's always one*

Imogen is right. Homeless men are just like any other men, some are decent, some are rude and aggressive. Not sure why you’d assume that all homeless people are the same - it CAN be intimidating when someone homeless is harrassing you or shouting at you in the street and it does happen, I’ve seen it happen. Just because it hasn’t happened to you does not mean it never happens. Your experience is not universal.
It’s perfectly ok for women to donate to homeless charities instead of engaging on the street. you have no idea what people have been through in the past.

I'm amazed at how many people have spare time to spark up conversations with randoms on the street, pop into a shop and buy what they order, spare money to give.

But if we are lucky enough to have that spare time and spare money, why shouldn't we use it to help others - whether by a kind word on the street, or volunteering for various charities.

But if we are lucky enough to have that spare time and spare money, why shouldn't we use it to help others - whether by a kind word on the street, or volunteering for various charities.

You can and if you do that, it’s fantastic! But it doesn’t mean anyone who doesn’t volunteer with the homeless is a heartless bitch either.

There are multiple charities to choose from and not everyone chooses the homeless. Eg. I volunteer for mental health charities.

I’m in complete agreement with IM0GEN and your reply was so rude Looby

I don’t interact with homeless men, in the same vein that I avoid attention from any other men when out and about. Homeless men aren’t just victims of their circumstances, they can be dangerous with addictions and violent histories. Being friendly can be seen as a come on, and rejecting them is likely to see a load of vitriol heading your way.

I bought a Greg's steak bake and a cup of tea for the last homeless man I saw on a freezing night just before Christmas whilst shoppers just walked past with their bags. I don't tend to give money, but will say hello, give food and will buy a Big Issue too if I see a seller.

And I stand by my advice to women posting on/ reading this thread that in any interaction with a strange man on the street they need to be mindful of their own safety and well being.

Thanks for this insight @IM0GEN - it's a very conflicting feeling walking past people (mostly men) - on the one hand I want to help, but also feeling I need to protect myself, because men can prey on women just because they're women, maybe with some false sense of "they're a soft touch".

You read about knife crime, innocent people getting caught up in a situation not of their making, and it's impossible to know if you'd suddenly become one of those statistics. It's too unpredictable out there.

Yesterday I was accosted by a random bloke who decided to target me with his anger and frustration. I was absolutely petrified. I was literally frozen in fear as he tried to engage me in dialogue and when I tried to get away, he had a go at me, completely unwarranted and unprovoked.

A friend of mine was also verbally attacked, when walking down the street minding their own business, for being a White Bastard.

Society today is full of anger, disenfranchisement and pain , but targeting innocent people with abuse (who may themselves volunteer in their own time!) is unacceptable. People turning on people.

Being friendly can be seen as a come on, and rejecting them is likely to see a load of vitriol heading your way.

That is exactly what happened to me yesterday @Aloe6

It's completely unpredictable who you're up against, what drugs they might be on or what their circumstances are. The more you live or work in big cities with train stations, large populations of people etc, the more you have to be on the alert and sadly the less you can trust. I'm not at all comfortable to engage with anyone now, after my shock yesterday.

I'm fine doing food banks and charity work, it's still needed but there's no point putting oneself in danger, how will that help.

I'm fine doing food banks and charity work, it's still needed but there's no point putting oneself in danger, how will that help

I’m so sorry for what happened to you, it sounds very frightening.

It’s beyond disgusting that women are trying to shame other women for not interacting with men on the streets who sometimes look clearly on drugs or drunk and aggressive. The fact they think because it hasn’t happened to them so it can’t possibly happen to others is even worse and is exactly what is happening with rape culture. Women are being disbelieved and aggressions are being minimised. It’s got to stop. No one should be shamed for doing something they are frightened or intimidated to do.
If you want to work with the homeless that is marvellous but don’t expect everyone to have same comfort levels as you and people can make contributions to society in MANY different ways. You can still donate to homeless charities without working with people on the streets.