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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do you honestly react to homeless people on the street?

361 replies

MrsBrentford · 12/01/2020 19:49

I watched a documentary, can’t remember which, about homeless people and how they feel totally invisible, and inhuman and that made me feel shit.

Thought about my own behaviour and how I occasionally give money or food but more often than not I hurry past and avoid eye contact.

So this year I have decided to make eye contact, smile and say hello to every homeless person I see in town (and there seem to be an increasing amount in my town Sad ).

Is anyone else guilty of this?

OP posts:
AlpacaGoodnight · 13/01/2020 18:44

I always smile and say hello. If they ask for anything I just apologise and say I have no cash on me (which 99 times out of 100 is the truth)

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/01/2020 18:51

My friend is a lovely lady who used to get a coffee and a sandwich for people who were on the street until she had a few who were not best pleased with food etc and wanted £20/£30

ivykaty44 · 13/01/2020 19:11

You can't claim benefits without an address

This is something I’ve been told by homeless, I’ve then offered to go with them and help to claim, if they are genuine we gone along to DWP and staff have helped

IC can be applied for online at any library, the issues arise if they don’t know their national insurance number, or have proof of ID and bank accounts, then it gets more tricky

Ohffs66 · 13/01/2020 19:25

There are loads around the train station where I work, our city has one particular group with obvious substance abuse issues that I avoid any eye contact with as they can be very shouty and in your face aggressive, including the women if you don't give them anything. There's a youngish chap that sits alone quietly, and an older chap who I see in different places in the town centre, both of whom are lovely and I will always say hello and give some money if I have any on me, sometimes a fiver or a tenner if I've just been paid. I always place the money directly in their hands, have a little chat and tell them to take care when I walk away. My ex always gave money to the homeless but he used to sort of fling it at people and not say anything which I thought was even worse than not acknowledging them at all, I used to cringe when he did it, it seemed really dehumanizing.

Alsohuman · 13/01/2020 19:29

The local homeless charities ask people not to give to beggars. It reduces the chances of them engaging with services, and encourages exploitation by criminal gangs

Of course they do because if we all looked after homeless people by giving them food and/or a coffee those charities would be unnecessary.

Feelingabitashamed · 13/01/2020 19:30

If asked for money, I smile and say 'sorry, haven't got any cash on me'. Which is usually true as I use cards normally. I will also offer food or a drink if it is reasonably convenient.

What I won't do is give money as I don't want it going to drug dealers (I am aware not all homeless people are addicted but obviously a good proportion are), or ignore someone who has asked me a direct question.

SemperIdem · 13/01/2020 19:37

I don’t ignore them, if they ask for money I’ll tell them I don’t have cash on me. I do buy a drink (hot/cold depending on season) and a sandwich or something for ones I see regularly. I’ve never had a homeless person be rude because I’m not giving them money but maybe I’ve been fortunate to have only come across genuine people.

EmeraldShamrock · 13/01/2020 19:52

@LochJessMonster surely it would have been more sensible to give him a couple of nights in a hotel rather than a pair of designer trainers? hmm You're ignorance is shocking. Angry
@purpleboy I hope your Dbro gets the help he needs. Your lovely parents have more than likely been through the mill, yet they care enough to make sure his feet are dry and warm. Flowers

EmeraldShamrock · 13/01/2020 19:54

Your

HeIenaDove · 13/01/2020 20:12

@EmeraldShamrock I suspect that poster wouldnt have posted that if the original post had said trainers instead of designer trainers.

HeIenaDove · 13/01/2020 20:23

Its like smartphones. People begrudging homeless people haviing them but they are needed to claim UC

sprite25 · 13/01/2020 20:28

@EmeraldShamrock I didn't say ALL homeless people are like that, I was just repeating what I had been told by someone who had volunteered with a local charity, next time I see them I'll tell them they must be completely wrong about their own personal experience because you said it's a cliche 🙄

DickDewy · 13/01/2020 20:29

Tbh I don’t look at them and I don’t give money.

WrongKindOfFace · 13/01/2020 20:44

Of course they do because if we all looked after homeless people by giving them food and/or a coffee those charities would be unnecessary.

Most (street) homeless people need a heck of a lot more support than a coffee and a sandwich.

Original poster
MrsBrentford · 13/01/2020 20:46

You don’t look at them ☹️Shock

Most of us are 3 pay cheques away ...

OP posts:
HeIenaDove · 13/01/2020 20:49

"Most of us are 3 pay cheques away"

I suspect thats what is behind some of the posts on here.........FEAR!

mummyofthreemunchkins · 13/01/2020 20:52

I feel so guilty just walking past them. I will often buy them a hot drink or something to eat. I was out shopping on Saturday when I saw someone (smartly dressed may I add, although I know that may not mean anything really!) Taking money out of a homeless man's collection box, he had only nipped away for a few minutes. I don't know how anyone could stoop that low. The man looked absolutely distraught, I gave him some money and told him to keep it safe!

rednsparkley · 13/01/2020 20:54

In my town the beggars in the town centre are all smackheads from the flats further out. They sit around all day shouting abuse at folk who don't give them money. I have seen them refuse food and blankets. Then, in the evening, they fuck off back home.

If you stroll through town at night there is only one or two sleeping rough and they are not the smackheads you see during the day.

I give them fuck all, not even a smile, they are horrible!

Lurkeycakewoman · 13/01/2020 20:55

I know most of them through work I know a few of them arent homeless and they know not to ask me for money cause I wont give it to them.
One particular guy was a drug user who's now clean he sings. But I know for a fact he has a flat and begs because he makes minimum £100 a day singing.
But I'll always stop and speak to them or say hello if I'm passing.

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 13/01/2020 20:58

I say hello back if they say hello to me (after all, I don't walk down the street greeting anyone else).

I don't give money usually, although when a bloke helped me out with the ticket machine at the carpark, I said thanks and put the trolly quid in his cup, because he didn't have to help me out.

Gemm83 · 13/01/2020 20:58

I went out to a Chinese restaurant with DH and 2 friends a while back.... As is always with Chinese we had a lot left over and I asked them to box it up to take away. Walking back to the train station there was a guy sleeping in the entrance to Primark. I tapped him gently and said "Hi, please take this" and offered the bag. He sniffed it and said "Nah, I had Chinese last night".

I was gobsmacked!!!!

TheMostHappy · 13/01/2020 21:01

Honestly for the most part, the same way I react to any other person - if i happen to make eye contact a polite smile, for the most part I'm eyes down though.

I don't give money to anyone on the street, but I have contacted a local charity this week about doing some outreach volunteering work in my spare time.

Sarcelle · 13/01/2020 21:22

I have also seen pro beggars, gangs of them, fan out and take a pitch. They walk normally but sit down and make themselves look deformed or dejected. They are wearing decent clothes but throw a cushion on the floor and cover up the cushion and their legs. I have also seen some being shouted at by a gang master. This is in my local High Street, in central London and abroad in Europe.

I work in central London and come through Victoria very early.There are hundreds in that area, all in sleeping bags. There were lots of tents too, but private security cards are being employed to move them on so the tents seem to have gone. The people are still sleeping on the floor though. They are genuinely homeless, a lot of them are ex service personnel. There are lots of drug addicts and drinkers too. The begging can be quite aggressive later on in the day. There seems to be lots of homeless help around the area, perhaps that is why they gravitate there, although station areas generally end up with lots of homeless wherever you are.

I never give anything, even to Big Issue sellers. I give to homeless charities. (We have Big Issue sellers outside my office, and down the street. They are controlled by a shouty man. They seem to have been infiltrated by gangs. A form of modern slavery perhaps. They also go up to people sitting outside cafes etc rather than stand on a pitch.)

I am sure someone will pitch in and say I am lying, but I know what I have seen. Even if you are a fake it is a heck of a shitty way to make a living.

imamess1 · 13/01/2020 21:31

Just today I was stopped by an older gentleman who asked if I had some change, I always say no sorry I don't have any cash on me. He looked crestfallen and said he was just so hungry. It wasn't near any shops. I had a couple of cereal bars in my bag, but I was too scared to unzip it in case he wasn't genuine. A moment later I was going to take them out and give them to him but when I looked he had walked a long way and I felt like a fool for running after him. I've felt really bad about it since 😢