AIBU to think I’ve hurt my baby?

[AnnaSparks]

My daughter is 10 months old and on the move. I put her on the bathroom floor to crawl around with some toys while I ran the bath and she fell backwards and hit her head (from a sitting position) on the tiles.

She hysterically cried for about a minute and then went back to clapping, smiling etc. but I took her to a&e anyway. After a quick check they sent us home as she seemed fine. There’s no lump, and she behaved normally, ate well and went to bed.

Despite all this I feel awful and can’t sleep. I feel like a terrible mother because she got hurt.

They have to fall to learn to move. No parent catches their child every time.
If they fall from their own height or less and cry for less than ten minutes they are probably fine.

Oh the stories I could tell you about the ways my children have injured themselves.
And the ways in which myself and my siblings did too (arm stuck down the bannister? Pushed my brother through a glass door and down a flight of stairs)
You absolutely shouldn’t worry. It’s awfully scary the first time they hurt themselves and you did all the right things. Babies do fall, they stumble trip and often look like tiny little drunk people flailing around. But they sort it out for the most part.
Try not to worry - you will learn from things as will she.
and

You’re not terrible OP. It was an accident, you did the right thing by getting her checked, she’s absolutely fine thankfully so you can relax and forgive yourself.

We’ve all been there OP

Oh bless you! We’ve all been there, and you’ve done the right thing getting her checked out just to be sure. You can be as careful as you like but babies and children will find a way to hurt themselves somehow regardless! Please be kind to yourself x

She will be fine op. My children have turned my hair grey more than a few times, scary at the time but it soon becomes a distant memory.

Oh my goodness this is not something you should blame yourself for; you've learned your lesson, she's fine and as awful as it feels now, she won't remember a second of this. You have to try not to beat yourself up.

Happens to everyone ....I was amazed I managed to keep my daughter alive for the first few months and my DM said she felt the same when she had me.

Every single baby in the world has fallen and hit their head. Every single one!

Babies are unstable. Their bodies are made soft and bouncy on purpose. It would take a huge amount of trauma to the head to damage them, and if that happened you'd know it straightaway!

Give yourself a break, seriously, or you'll never get through the toddler years when they fall every day!

Oh poor you. It’s horrible isn’t it?
I know that feeling when you feel you just really let your baby down and you persecute yourself for it.
And I ask this just out of care, are you often anxious about your daughters safety? or wellbeing?

Oh you poor thing! Been there, done that, got the grey hairs to show it. I have my own stories that'll drain the colour from your face.
She's absolutely fine. You're just a bit shaken, which is very normal.

You are not a bad mum kids get hurt it’s part of growing up. Sorry to tell you there is going to be a whole lot more little accidents wait till the 1st time you see blood I cried for days. Little people are tougher than we think and us mums can’t wrap them in cotton wool no matter how much we’d like too

Hi! Please don't feel bad! Accidents happen and she's fine!! It wasn't your fault it was just part and parcel of being a baby but you really didn't do anything wrong.

At least you were right there to help her and did everything you could to help her. She's lucky to have a mum like you.

My DS did similar except he fell forwards during bum shuffling and banged his head On the hard kitchen floor, he had an egg sized lump and I rushed him to the GP thinking he’d have a brain bleed or something! Terrifying at the time but he was absolutely fine and GP reassured me.
Try not to beat yourself up, accidents happen quite often there’s not much you can do to stop them.

Aaahh OP, bless you. These things happen, try not to beat yourself up. She's been checked out and has had the all clear. Have lots of snuggles with her.

If it's any consolation my DD is 11 now and about 18 months ago we were in a car accident involving a lorry (his fault) and I was driving. Miraculously no one was hurt - I'm not spiritual but I swear someone was watching over us that night - but it was bloody frightening. The worst part? Hearing her screaming in terror in the back whilst we were spun into oncoming traffic.

We're all ok but she still often feels nervous in the car at night. I feel like a shit mum as it happened on "my watch".

So yes, lots of cuddles (for your benefit!), keep an eye on her and let yourself move on.

DS in question is now 15 by the way and doing top set GCSEs so no permanent damage

My dd fell head first off the changing table at that age. I bent down to pick something up and she leaned over and just fell.
Scared me but after a little cry she was fine.

Don't worry it's very common but obviously scary for you.

If it makes you feel better, once when my dc was about 6 months, I strapped her in the high chair in only her nappy while I did a chore. As soon as I strapped her in she screamed the place down, and carried on screaming until I'd finished the job. When I got her out I realised the high chair buckle had trapped her skin and it was literally purple. She had a mark for ages. Feel sick now when I think about it

All my babies bumped their heads at least once

Thank you so much everyone. It genuinely makes me feel a lot better to hear I’m not the only one who has been in this situation

I think I was just particularly panicked about the whole head injury thing.

@Eveting2019 that’s very kind of you to ask. I do have a little too much anxiety when it comes to my LO, but I’ve learned to relax a bit more lately. Maybe why the head bang happened

Imagine smacking your own head on the tiles about as hard as she did. It would smart for a moment but then you’d shake it off. It’s the same for her, I promise!

My friend and mother to two now fully grown adults always said that her job was to keep them alive until they were 18 and that some days it was harder to achieve than others. Kids are masters at injuring themselves from day one. Forgive yourself. Your guilt tells you you’re a good mum. Now let it pass.

My DD is 11mo and bumps her head on stuff every day as she's learning to walk so is pulling herself up on everything. Just part of being a baby! She head butted me in the nose last night and I can confirm her head was solid

I managed to stumble and bump my baby sons head when he was only 4 weeks old, walking in to clinic to get him weighed. It was awful I was really upset! All the health visitors were able to reassure me and calm me down... now I've got 2 of them I know this stuff happens. You just be as careful as you can but know it's not your faultm

Bless you, mine’s 2 and a half now and bumped her head quite a few times. She’s fallen off my bed at least 3 times. The worst injury so far has been when she hadn’t been walking long and was toddling about a school playground waiting for her older brothers. She was just standing still one minute and the next she just toppled forward onto her face. There was a lot of blood from her mouth and I was a bit paranoid she’d knocked a little tooth out but she’d split her lip and it bled quite a bit! But she was fine - just had a fat lip for a day or so!

I’ve never taken her to A&E or even the GP for a bump. Absolutely do so if you’re worried but I was always satisfied mine was fine - awake, alert, responding etc and kept an eye on her myself for signs of concussion.