AIBU to think I’ve hurt my baby?

[AnnaSparks]

My daughter is 10 months old and on the move. I put her on the bathroom floor to crawl around with some toys while I ran the bath and she fell backwards and hit her head (from a sitting position) on the tiles.

She hysterically cried for about a minute and then went back to clapping, smiling etc. but I took her to a&e anyway. After a quick check they sent us home as she seemed fine. There’s no lump, and she behaved normally, ate well and went to bed.

Despite all this I feel awful and can’t sleep. I feel like a terrible mother because she got hurt.

Fuck. I misread the question. YABU as you have not hurt her. I know it is a real fright but you did all you could and your dd is okay. You'll learn from this which is the point.

My youngest is the one for hospital visits. On holiday one year my Ds shut her fingers in a caravan door. Her screams were one of anger at not being allowed to go outside and play rather than one of pain. It wasn't until

Don't worry! You've had her checked out and she's fine. When my son was a few weeks old I slipped down the stairs whilst I was carrying him and dropped him down the stairs! He as18 the other day and no ill effects! (I also had had him checked out at A&E at the time).

Sorry OP, but you'll have to get used to this. With the best will in the world, you'll not be able to prevent every tumble over the next decade or two. She'll be fine!

You’ll actually feel better the more times it happens! My dd fell off her (low toddler) chair twice while eating her lunch today, I had to suppress my laughter in order to comfort her. Falling is how they explore the world and work out what not to do, for example I hope my dd soon works out that she should sit still and stop twisting round!

OH OP, you'll be regaled with stories from so many other parents who have done similar, including me...I was once trying to pull my DD's boot off while cradling phone as HV had called just as we walked through the door to make an appointment for her 2 year check. I pulled the boot too hard, DD fell back, hit her head AND HAD A FIT. I had to call an ambulance. It was horrific. She was absolutely fine having been thoroughly checked over but I dwelt on it for a very long time and have never forgiven myself. She's now 21 and doing her degree.

You'll probably have plenty of bumps in time to come, it happens to us all. You did the right thing, you've had her checked and you know what to look out for. Be kind to yourself, it was an accident

I chose YABU because you need to forgive yourself for this. We all have these moments as parents.

I remember finding DD asleep on the arm of the sofa when she was a toddler, thought "ah how cute" and left her there, only to be greeted by a bang and a crash 10 minutes later when she fell off, still asleep .

You did the right thing by taking her to A&E and she is fine, so be kind to yourself and forget about it.

@AnnaSparks

You're fine. It's useless telling you but "don't worry"

The sad thing is that with some children [my GGD springs to mind] it goes on for a very long time that they are totally careless. They do not seem to learn about their surroundings and their relationship in it.

When I was a baby I fell off my cousin’s bed and skinned my nose on the carpet. Apparently my cousin (6yo at the time) was inconsolable but I was right as rain a few minutes later!

My daughter fell off the bed around that age. Seriously, don't worry about it any more - you are not a bad mother, it was an accident. Think back to how many you've had through your life, they happen.

My 8mo DD went head first off the sofa a few weeks ago, she launched herself that quickly nobody was quick enough to grab her and she wasn't unsupervised, I was next to her on the couch and my DM was stood talking to me less than 2 metres away. I felt similarly distraught but alas she was absolutely fine and everybody reassured me that these things happen, it's more common than you'd think! I don't know if anybody who hadn't had the shock of their life from their baby banging it's head/tumbling somewhere.

Don't worry

We have all done something similar. Human babies are designed to survive their parents who have been clumsy for millennia. Please don’t beat yourself up.

Been there done that got the t shirt ( several in fact) your reaction says to me you love your child. It happens keep your chin up and cut yourself some slack.

My 14 month old tries to brain himself several times a day. It's such a regular occurrence now that i don't even bat an eyelid. But the first time, I was like you. Rushed him straight to hospital, all the while crying that he was going to die from a brain bleed. Dramatic much?

A&E dr's advice was: crying and eating are usually good signs that there's no lasting damage. Bumps are good as it means any swelling is outwards and not growing inwards. Keep an eye on them for 4 hours roughly. Shine a light in their eyes to check for pupil dilation. And try not to panic as they pick up on it. Obviously there's exceptions to those rules, but for the most part, i believe he's correct.

I do sympathise with you though. Head injuries are my biggest fear and anxiety-inducer. I'd have my wee fella in a helmet 24/7, if i could!

My father dropped a frozen chicken on my head when I was small.

No lasting damage to my, my head or our relationship

My 10 month old granddaughter fell off the bed today right in front of her Daddy! Hit her (already swollen from teething) cheek on the way down and has a slight swelling under her eye. My daughter and I were having lunch the other day and the baby choked on her biscuit. Cue heart stop from both of us. My daughter automatically did what she had to do to dislodge to a stunned open-mouthed set of diners. We laughed nervously today in the recognition that keeping a baby alive is a serious challenge. Give yourself a break OP. Your baby is fine and you took all the steps you needed to. These things happen, but it gives you the fear every time. It's completely natural to feel the way you do.

some days, im like "thank god its bedtime", because the damage is limited in bed.

OP dont feel bad!, all babies fall and bang, just keep a close eye for sick/fitting from a really big bang.

If any parents says their child has not hit their head - THEY LIE! :)

Op honestly it's totally normal. Ds is the most accident prone toddler in the world, three A&E trips and the childminder dispairs. He finally seems to be growing out of it....its a phase and how they learn boundires.

Bashed my first born's head on a door frame when she was 6 months. Didn't judge the gap v well !! She's a 2nd year medical student now.

The first time my daughter fell backwards onto her head (fortunately on the carpet) she screamed out...and didn't breathe again. She lost consciousness for a few seconds, then breathed, then cried normally. It was her first breath-holding episode and it terrified me!

It turned out to be her way of reacting to very sudden (and usually sharp) pain. One scream, and not getting her breath again. Once the doctor had reassured me that her reflexes would always take over, I relaxed. It freaked out my friends if she did it in front of them (she probably did it a dozen times before she grew out of it at the exact age the doc said she would) and they couldn't believe how calm I was - thanks to that doctor who put my mind at ease so well.

Oh OP, as everyone else has said, it happens to us all! You really haven't hurt your baby, they are tough little nuts. All 3 of mine have had numerous bashes to the head (falls, headbutting tables/doors/windows, the list is endless!). With my first, I panicked, felt sick, like the worst mother ever. With my third, it's an "oops, up we get, big brave girl!" and fingers crossed the egg that develops on her noggin isn't too massive 😬

DD threw herself backwards out of DH's arms at 12 weeks, hit a wardrobe and the laundry bin on the way to the floor and gave herself a black eye.

DD sobbed for 2 minutes, DH sobbed most of the evening. Trip to A&E and I think had to push DD round London in her pram with a black eye for weeks. The looks I got... nearly pinned a notice to the pram saying 'She did it herself'.

No lasting damage, and she's had more than a few bumps since... and a self inflicted 'tiara' injury (according to the letter home from school).

Learninfchow to sit up, crawl, stand, walk etc is full of bumps and accidents. I bet she'll soon (if not already) be pulling herself up on her cot sides, which means she'll be practicing standing (and probably falling backwards) during the night, when you aren't even aware of it.

The only thing that may have smarted more than usual here was the tiles, but she's fine, and she's probably forgotten about it already.

i hear you! My DC4 was only 1 when he was playing in the garden with his older siblings. (big age gap) Me and DH were drinking wine and having a nice afternoon. my 1 yr old was having a great time playing with his older siblings, we had a BBQ and spent most of the day out there. I put my little 1 in the bath and got him to bed. He was out of sorts and the next day and he couldnt weight bare. I was mortified and took him to a and e and it turns out he sustained a toddler fracture and needed a below the knee cast. I felt like the worst mother on earth, never happened to my other DC and there was no specific event that I could share with health professionals... I went to every appointment feeling ashamed and I work for the NHS too....still feel awful

When my DD was a small child I was trying to wrestle her into some fancy pants dungaree short things. She wasn't having it, I was frustrated and threw the dunagrees down in frustration. The metal buckle hit her on the back. She cried, I cried, I threw the dungarees away and never bought any again. The buckle left a mark on her back, I was distraught. It happens, don't be hard on yourself. I think I have managed to give to my DD a happy childhood despite that.