To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

There are people who are in that position, yes. I've read similar posts on here before.

If you have substantial childcare costs, south eastern expensive housing/south eastern cheaper housing plus expensive commute, that doesn't leave enough wiggle room to also carry debt and not struggle to make ends meet. The childcare costs are temporary and hopefully you have a mortgage rather than rent so you're paying towards an asset, but nonetheless that situation still leaves plenty of room to find it difficult to pay for everything.

I would always say to everyone, whatever their income and outgoings, get your budget and spending under control though, work out what's going where. It's the best thing we ever did. I'm not talking about obvious stuff like check out free activities and stop buying lunch out, but just seeing how much gets spent on what.

I'd also advise anyone to take the time to go through all their costs and make sure they're on the lowest tariffs for utilities, best interest rates for debt or savings etc. Again, one of the best things DH and I have ever done. You may already have done this of course.

You don’t need to opt out of your pension, don’t do that, but reduce how much you choose to put into it.

There are places outside the south east that aren’t cheap

I don’t add anything extra daisy

I also would be seeking advice from a debt organisation to help you manage that better. It must be an awful lot to be paying such a big amount back each month. Are you paying interest on it? There must be a way to bring those payments down to a more manageable level, even if you were only paying £250 instead of £500, while the kids are small, that will free you up alot of cash to "live on."

Is it 85k combined income before taxes so about 60k after taxes? then I don't think that is too much money for your level of outgoings. Basically you are leaving beyond your means, you either need to increase your income or reduce your outgoings.

Actually I wouldn't opt out of something like the teacher's pension scheme.

You gave the impression that you were paying additional pension contributions over and above those which everyone pays but it seems that isn't the case.

I'm in ROI & use YNAB & inputting all my transactions makes me more accountable I believe.
Yes it'll tell you that's what your money is going on but it might highlight for you where you are spending more money that you thought too.
Prior to ynab I often went overdrawn now I never do, I have automated lots of recurring bills & transactions so I can look at a glance & see what bills are due this week, I can also set goals with monthly bills so they're funded in time too.
I've a referral link too pm me if anyone wants it

*So my income is £2500 after tax.

1500 goes on childcare fees
500 towards loans
Leaving 500 for credit cards, food, petrol, mobile phone.*

OP you are talking about your salary, but your DP is also clearly working. What is his money going on?
I just wonder if you are being financially abused? I have come across other couples like this. Woman uses all her salary for family costs and is skint, and her DP pays some family costs and spends the rest on himself.

If your DP's salary is family money, then you need help budgeting. If it is not, then you need support to change things with your DP.

The Government assumes all money earned by couples is family money. That is why you will get no help with your childcare bill.

Ooh I think I missed a couple of your update posts before typing mine OP. Not sure how that happened.

It seems to me that if you're keeping your head above water and will clear some debts within the next months, that seems sensible. It sounds like a large chunk you'll have back by April and August. Just have a plan for that money so that it doesn't get absorbed.

Truly terrible financial advice to opt out of a teacher pension!

If you live in the south east 85k combined for a family does not afford the standard of lifestyle you might expect, not with childcare bills & debt to repay. For example it certainly won't run to 2 nice cars on finance plans. One modest second hand car more like it.

I’m not asking you to squabble, and I certainly don’t think you should give up a pension or your job. But you said take home was much lower than it should be, I didn’t see anywhere on your post any breakdown of pension payments. That’s why I queried the take home, because it was too low. Again, if you absolutely refuse to put all of this down in a comprehensive list, then what can anyone do other than guess or assume? Nobody can say they’re in your position really, as it’s unclear what you position is.

This is what I mean everyone shouts about the pension and then suddenly shouts at me not to.

And I don’t live in the SE but anyway. I really wasn’t looking for advice! Not that I haven’t had it anyway!

I’m a bit like you on £52k per year (single parent) but it’s pary that I’m not disciplined enough!

I have some debt from when I was self employed because I still had taxes to pay for two years worth after leaving and becoming employed. Takes a big chunk!

No one can answer this as an AIBU unless you give details, which you are unwilling to give.

So.... stupid thread.

YANBU to feel frustrated that you are always skint, but whether you are BU for being skint, we can’t know without details.

‘Sensible’ everyday hatch backs with low maintenance, insurance and tax costs v high performance nearly new BMWs. We don’t know do we can’t answer.

In one of your earlier posts you say childcare takes up one salary entirely . I've also see you have posted your salaries are £50 k and 35k . I think you have a childcare problem .

Yep, dh takes home round about 1700. Childcare takes that.

Get help from the CAB, Stepchange, National Debtline or the Money Advice Service. All give free advice.
Look at an IVA, debt management plan or bankruptcy.

You will have to be totally transparent with them otherwise they can't give you the best advice.

No we don’t need that thanks moasty

I think the fact that there is any debt might be a problem that needs addressing. Debt is often a result of being bad with money, so you need to be sure you're on a one-way trip to being permanently debt-free, not perpetually fighting bad habits.

Acceptable debt I can think of is (a) a mortgage, (b) student loans and (c) the "tools for work" which could include the cost of a commuting annual ticket, or the cheapest car that will get you there. (I suspect you have justified more car than is strictly necessary, but it's probably too late to revise that decision.)

If you want more spare cash you need to find cheaper childcare and/or a cheaper place to live. Then consider loosing the car. Then look at how much you are spending on bills. Then look at your unnecessary spending.

Me and DD live on my 13k wages. No benefits, no maintenance. I budget hard and have a spreadsheet for everything. We have very low overheads, savings in the bank, no debts of any kind, no car and a fairly frugal lifestyle which means we have money left over for holidays, some luxuries and savings. We don't feel poor and I've always been able to pay for everything we need.

Nobody ever said you can have everything if life. For instance, if I got a car we wouldn't be going on holiday every year. It's not just about how much you earn, in fact it's more about how much you spend. Even a billionaire can spend too much money and be 'skint'.

OP you say you are paying £2,200 in childcare? Is that right? That is a lot of money and few people could afford that level of childcare. I assume your children are very young.

No, DH works from a car / van so needs it. Public transport for me would cost £50 a week. As it is, getting to work uses about £30 of petrol. Plus, the cost in time - if I used public transport I wouldn’t get home until 6-7 most nights.