To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

Pegasus, my point is that I already shop at Aldi! It’s the first thing you do when trying to save money yet everyone suggests it as if nobody will have ever done it.

And @DisorganisedOrganiser laughing at the idea of you being the the “squeezed middle” 😂 you want to afford whole class parties at £15 a head and piano and horse riding (or whatever your DCs hobbies are) and don’t have the income.

That’s not squeezed middle that’s the epitome of living beyond your means

Teaching is already a full on job and a long day though. Any chance your DH could up his income?

My DS earns £32k by the way, pays civil service pension and student loan and is left with £2k. Could your DH look at lowering his deductions?

I didn't think teachers had a choice about their pension contributions? You are either in or out & it makes sense to stay in.

To be honest I would happily stop paying into my pension but the advice was not to.

Sansou OP has student loan repayments too. Pension is about 10% on OPs salary. She could opt out in the short term to get back on an even financial keel. That would be my solution.

Perhaps they could have sympathised. It is shit and loads of people are in similar positions.

People perhaps would have if the OP had been worded differently

Re teacher pension, you can opt out for a few months then opt back in. You can't change your percentage contributions other than to 0%.

But surely contributing at that rate is a choice?

The standard contribution rate on the OPs salary is around 10%, not 19%

www.teacherspensions.co.uk/employers/managing-members/contributions/calculating-contributions.aspx

Wow - people here are judgmental! You can be on a good salary and have lots of costs - and once things are hard it can be hard to dig out of that. Stepchange have a great website that helps with budgets.

It was strongly advised not to opt out at all, even for a few months,

@BarbaraofSeville I took a rough guess what the mortgage was. £1700 pays for mortgage and bills

Basic bills of say 400 a month if cut down on everything they can

But guess house bills can be more and mortgage less so £1000

I was guessing

Not sure why op won’t say what their mortgage is

Yes if you opt out for a limited period it would be ok - but make sure it’s limited because it makes a massive difference if you don’t go back in. I am just looking at all my pensions now aged 54, and guess what- I really wish I’d put more in.

To be honest I would happily stop paying into my pension but the advice was not to

It doesn’t appear to be very sound advice given your situation

Please check exactly what your pension contributions are and what your options are

Having to pay to start a family, then pay for childcare as well as general living costs is not compatible with maxing out your pension contributions at the same time

Such a pointless and obviously goady thread.

Started in AIBU (of course)
Feeling skint on a 90K salary, waaah
People give lots of helpful advice about budgeting
OP says it's not about budgeting
People say well look at expenditure
OP provides figures that don't add up/make any sense and says expenditure is not the problem
People say well look at income
OP provides more figures that don't add up/make any sense and says income is not the problem
People say well what do you want from the thread
OP says I just want to wind you all up I'm just venting
People point out that you're venting about a situation that you don't seem to either have a full grasp of (ie the figures you have given yourself don't add up)
OP says she doesn't have to explain herself and yet provides some more vague information
People point out the information still doesn't make sense

OP asks people why they are still replying to her
OP calls the thread stupid

Throughout this, OP spends all day engaging with people in defensive and passive aggressive posts, with bonus points for smiley faces

Fuck me.

A few months would barely make much difference in the end, whereas 6 months of that cash now would make your life so much easier. As long as you are strict with the money being used to service debt.

Did the people who advised you know your full financial situation?

If your dPs on 35k, with a student loan in order to have a take home of 1700pcm he has to be paying 22% pension

22% on 35k is massive, could he cut that back?

Just trying to be polite, webuilt

OP won't say what her mortgage is as clearly it's massive

And not sure why you deleted the reply about ivf

Nothing to be ashamed of

Took 5 private attempts to get our one bfp and £27k

We saved £12k Did two rounds. Both failed

Then Did overtime , saved , put on credit cards and loan

Paying the loan when it failed was awful :(

But we continued and more credit cards etc

So I understand where you are coming from

Dd is almost 3 and still paying her off

But wouldn’t have it any other way 💓

But surely contributing at that rate is a choice?

No

If your pension is based on a stock market investment, then yes it makes sense to have it in as long as possible. If you are just buying years or it is final salary, then maybe think about it. Do the sums. It might be easy to recoup when you have more spare cash.

tbf I've always heard you shouldn't leave the TPS but maybe it's worth it for 6 months & use the 10% for debt repayments

TPS is a defined benefit scheme based on length of service & salary

I wouldn’t opt out of the pension.

I’d hang tight for a while and as others have said, make peace with the fact that although your debts mean that your disposable income is suffering right now, they also mean that you have your children. You’re paying now, in monetary terms for the happiness and fulfilment they hopefully bring you. And soon enough, as your debts are cleared and your childcare expenditures go down, you will have a bit more disposable cash to spend.

I understand - you posted to ask if others in your general financial circumstances also feel the pinch. Many do. Perhaps for different reasons, but the end result is the same.

I’m not working atm but when I was our combined income was about the same as yours. We maintain different homes though, which obviously takes double the money. And my OH is much more sensible than me and very focused on saving, so he always puts away as much as he can monthly.

I can choose to buy a Mulberry bag if I really, really want to, but at the moment I’m not spending at all other than on things I actually need. I could look at our income and say why didn’t we have a holiday abroad last year or why don’t we go out to eat every week, how come there’s not enough money to get a takeaway coffee every day or whatever, but the reason why our daily lifestyle is quite frugal and quite simple compared to what our income level might suggest, is because we choose to prioritise some things to the detriment of others. Unless you’re hugely wealthy that’s something everyone has to do.

[Edited at poster's request]